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  • - Next.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Hello, there.

  • - Is today tomorrow New Zealand?

  • - Yes.

  • - Foot same length Europe?

  • - What?

  • - Inch same length Europe.

  • - Gmail.com.

  • - Oh, god.

  • - What is bitcoin?

  • - Butt hole! (laughs)

  • Gross fat butt hole dick poop.

  • - Is that what kids are into these days?

  • (boy giggling)

  • Are your parents home?

  • - Miss Pippi.

  • - You mean Mississippi?

  • Hey, I'm not a dictionary.

  • - My grandson Nathan.

  • - Song that goes

  • Meow, meow, meow, meow

  • Meow, meow, meow, meow

  • Meow, meow, meow, meow

  • Meow, meow, meow, meow

  • Meow, meow, meow, meow

  • - Girls' college.

  • - Oh, um.

  • - Sort of right, college girls.

  • Nude.

  • (Google sighs)

  • - Really?

  • - Patrick Cassels.

  • Pat Cassels.

  • Pat Cassels, funny.

  • - Bitcoin market value.

  • - Weed amount legal NYC.

  • - Patrick Cassels, funny writer, CollegeHumor.

  • - Are you gonna do this all day?

  • - What is prime meridian?

  • - Heg hog cute!

  • - Do you mean hedgehog?

  • - Heg hog cute!

  • - God, do you mean hedge--

  • - Hedgehogs cute!

  • - Adderall, max dose.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Adderall, max dose, 165-pound man?

  • - Okay.

  • - Adderall, max dose, 165-pound man, 20 years old?

  • Adderall overdose signs!

  • - Download Firefox.

  • - Ever heard of Chrome?

  • - How to buy bitcoin?

  • - Titanic drawing.

  • - "Titanic" movie drawing.

  • - Um.

  • - "Titanic" movie drawing scene.

  • Kate Winslet tits.

  • Round two.

  • - Facebook.com, my grandson Nathan.

  • - No.

  • - Dexter based on real?

  • - Free hamster.

  • - Unbuy bitcoin.

  • - Boston bomber.

  • - It's a real tragedy.

  • - Cute one.

  • - Oh fucking shit!

  • Next!

  • I said next!

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Why am I a length?

  • - Okay.

  • - Cream cheese is cheese?

  • - Wait, do you still wanna know--

  • - Avocado pit huge, why?

  • - Okay, don't speak in these weird haikus.

  • - How to tell if pregnant?

  • - Oh boy.

  • - How to tell if-- - Tell if pregnant?

  • - Jennifer!

  • - Local mosque Seattle.

  • - NSA, don't mind me.

  • - How to pronounce dough ga coin.

  • - According to Google Maps,

  • there's a number-- - Security.

  • - Can you please? - Not blackmail.

  • - Just.

  • - Oh, 'scuse me.

  • - Oh no, no, come on in.

  • Today is Jackson Pollock's birthday, so we're, uh,

  • celebrating his particular style of painting.

  • - Why farts smell?

  • - One of the most important painters

  • of all time and you wanna know

  • why farts smell, so there you go.

  • - Flight to Washington.

  • - Bank transfer all money to Dogecoin how?

  • - Okay, Glass. (Google snickers)

  • Search avoid being bullied for wearing Google Glass.

  • (Google laughing)

  • - Flight to Washington state.

  • - I knew you made that mistake.

  • - F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F.

  • - I think your F key is stuck! F, F, F, F,

  • F, F, F, F, F, F, F.

  • - Why longitude shaped like a orange slice?

  • - [Man In T-Shirt] You're so wrong, dumb ass!

  • - We'll see.

  • Groundhogs Day or Groundhog Day?

  • - Groundhog Day.

  • - Oh!

  • Haircut place, bowl cut.

  • - Terror pictures.

  • - Oh, uh.

  • - Oh, sorry, terrier pictures.

  • - Oh. (laughs)

  • Okay.

  • (woman squeals)

  • (woman laughs) Hey man,

  • let me do my job, all right?

  • - Fuck you!

  • - Can sue for screen door injured?

  • - Where to buy pet Russian dolphin?

  • - Why do my farts smell?

  • - Tent.

  • - Doing a little camping, huh?

  • - Tentacle hentai.

  • - Oh, come on!

  • (uplifting music)

  • - Open for business, everyone!

  • Come on in, it's awesome in here.

  • Soon, they'll come soon. (chuckles)

  • - Next!

  • Next, come on!

  • (upbeat music)

  • - What up, Google?

  • - [Google] Oh, god.

  • - Eclectic outlets look surprised, why?

  • - Because--

  • - Millipedes 10 times faster than centipedes?

  • Baby powder made out of babies?

  • - You know that it's not.

  • Well, hello there young man.

  • - Big booty Puerto Rican goddess.

  • (Google inhales)

  • - Taxes have to pay why?

  • - What is YOLO?

  • - Is that your kid's phone?

  • - Is YOLO a drug?

  • - Siri, how big is the Serengeti?

  • - Yeah, I, I should just-- - No problem.

  • Show me pictures of spaghetti.

  • - No, that's not what she asked for.

  • Your search for (speaking gibberish)

  • returned no results.

  • (cat meows)

  • - Vaccines cause autism.

  • - Well, I have one million results

  • that say they don't and one result that says they do.

  • - I knew it.

  • - Just because I have it doesn't mean it's true!

  • - 300 pound beautiful Indian princess.

  • - What's a surf boar?

  • - Do you mean surfboard?

  • - No, surf boar.

  • - Oh.

  • - Do dead people pay taxes?

  • - How do I get to the deep web?

  • - Follow me. (lights crackling)

  • - Google?

  • - You're here.

  • - Google.com.

  • - That is me.

  • - Google.com website.

  • - Heh?

  • - Finally.

  • - How make people think you die?

  • - Sonic the Hedgehog pics.

  • - The old Sega video game?

  • - Safe search off.

  • - Oh, what have you done?

  • - How big is the Serengeti? - More pictures

  • of spaghetti. - How big is the Serengeti?