Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles (howling) - [Narrator] I reckon you ain't too familiar with these here parts, but let me tell you, monsters do exist. I've seen fights that would turn men into frightened little boys. Mordeos fighting a Look-See. A brute fighting a god darned tree. Even a dead British schoolgirl taking on a hoard of smiley-faced cult members with nothing but a hockey stick. Yup, these fights might be deemed epic to some, but those some ain't never seen a fight as merciless as the Food Fight at Baby Cheyenne's. Most vicious of fights between two hard some-bitches known as the Cakeman and the Watermelon Baby. Our story starts way out west at baby shower just like any other. They was celebrating the soon to be birthin' of little old baby Cheyenne, a celebration of life. Now, ain't that ironic? But what come next, well, what come next ain't just like any other. The missus was going through her pile of presents when she come across one mighty peculiar box festooned with ribbons. I'll ask you as a listener to suspend your disbeliefin' for a minute and picture a man made of a white cake, confectioner, and sportin' a waffle cone hat. This cakeman lept out of the box like a bat outta hell. (Cakeman laughs manically) Now let me ask you as a listener, what does one do when a dessert that ain't supposed to be alive come alive? Well, they panicked. (woman screams) And boy did they panic as this cake shot up the place like Billy the Kid shooting fish in a barrel. Candles piercing frightened folks young and old. He held the mommy to be dead to rights in the corner when suddenly a shot rang out and knocked the waffle cone straight off his head. The Cakeman turned to see his shooter, only to find the Watermelon Baby, a two foot tall baby made entirely of watermelon. That's right, watermelon. (baby chuckles) That delicious fruit one enjoys on a summer day. It was high noon when these two edible foes laid eyes on each other. It tweren't long before their hands clasped their shooters. I've seen gun fights between man-made iron, but never had I witnessed one between candle and seed. Two seasoned gunslingers just shootin', dodgin', reloadin', then rinsin' and repeat. That is when a higher power, if you believe in that sort of thing, intervened and turned their gun fight into a fist fight. I'm a little fuzzy on who struck who first. These old eyes couldn't keep up with the rapid speed of their punching and kicking. I'm told by some that the Cakeman studied under a Shaolin grandmaster. That would be enough to scare anybody. But the Watermelon Baby countered with moves only known to the creme de la creme of the Israeli Special Forces. Just when it looked like the sun was starting to set on our frosted fella, the water filled melon baby was upended. (bell tolls) The tables turned for our two combatants. The baby shower was still as night as Cakeman delivered the fatal blow to Watermelon Baby. (baby splats) Monsters among men. I swear I've never seen a fight as incredible as that of the food fight at Baby Cheyenne's. Take what you will of this tale told by an old cowboy such as I, but I've never been one for imagination and I swear on my spurs what you just heard really did happen. Cakeman may have won the fight, but the seeds of war between cake and fruit had been planted that day. (seed laughing) If you'll lend me your ears again I'll tell you all about the second food fight between the Cakeman and the Watermelon Baby. Now, y'all come back now, ya hear? I'll be rocking and forthin' in this here rock and forth chair. (subtle western music)
B2 US watermelon baby cheyenne ain creme waffle WATERMELON BABY VS CAKEMAN | "Food Fight" | Crypt TV Extended Universe | Creepypasta 18 0 Amy.Lin posted on 2019/11/17 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary