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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,170 It's hump day.

  • Happy hump day to you.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Are you having a nice hump afternoon?

  • That's right.

  • Did you celebrate the holidays over the weekend?

  • 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,950 I'm not talking about Easter or Passover.

  • I'm talking about April Fool's Day.

  • April Fools Day was Saturday.

  • April Fools-- it was Sunday.

  • See when I did there?

  • See?

  • I love April Fools.

  • I love the pranks.

  • I really do.

  • And in honor of that singing fool on the hill,

  • please give a warm welcome to Sir Paul McCartney.

  • [GASPING]

  • Oh, April Fools!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Gotcha.

  • I like to build it up and then disappoint you.

  • That's what I like to do.

  • But I do want to show you some of my favorite pranks

  • we've done on the show.

  • This first one is Dennis Quaid.

  • He started it all when I sent him to Starbucks to say,

  • Dennis Quaid is here.

  • And then we parked a car outside the studio

  • and called AAA for him.

  • And I was telling him what to say in his ear the whole time.

  • And he could only say what I told him to say.

  • Take a look.

  • Dennis Quaid needs a jump.

  • Dennis Quaid need a jump.

  • 00:01:19,290 --> 00:01:20,510 OK.

  • On the way over it was making this funny noise--

  • re-poo-gah, re-poo-gah, re-poo-gah.

  • You know, on the way over, it was making this funny noise,

  • like re-poo-gah.

  • Re-poo-gah.

  • And then like, a re-too, re-too.

  • And then a re-too, re-too re-too--

  • I don't get it.

  • Dennis Quaid likes to drive make vroom vroom noise.

  • [SIGHS] Dennis Quaid likes to drive--

  • Vroom, vroom.

  • I like to rev it up real hard.

  • Vroom.

  • I like to rev it up really hard.

  • 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:53,830 [INAUDIBLE]

  • I love you, car.

  • I love you, Mercedes.

  • Kiss it.

  • Why me, God?

  • Start crying.

  • Why me, God?

  • 00:02:06,186 --> 00:02:07,638 Louder, scream it in the air.

  • Why!

  • Put your fists in the air.

  • Why God!?

  • 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,910 Would you open my trunk for me?

  • Hey, I've got to get something out of the trunk.

  • I don't even know if it'll open.

  • Can you help me?

  • 00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:25,235 Just open it.

  • Oh, he didn't see anything.

  • Close that.

  • Close that.

  • You didn't see anything.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Now one of my favorite pranks we've ever done

  • was with Bruno Mars.

  • We had a nurse come to his dressing room.

  • I told him to pretend to be sick.

  • And this is what he did.

  • I'm feeling something in my throat,

  • and I don't know what it is.

  • Guess I'm supposed to assess you.

  • I'm feeling something in my throat,

  • and I don't know what it is.

  • You know what hurts the most?

  • When I go beep, beep, beep, beep.

  • You know what hurts the most is when I go beep, beep, beep,

  • beep.

  • Like a truck backing up.

  • It's like beep, beep--

  • it's like a truck backing up.

  • Back up when you do that.

  • Stand up and back up.

  • It's like when I'm going beep, beep, beep, beep.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Did you see me on the Super Bowl by any chance?

  • Did you see me on the Super by any chance?

  • No, I don't watch the Super Bowl.

  • Oh, I nailed it.

  • I nailed it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • It was so good.

  • It was so good.

  • So, so good.

  • So, so good.

  • Oh, yeah, yeah.

  • Oh yeah, yeah.

  • 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:39,769 Anyway.

  • Anyway.

  • Start crying.

  • [INAUDIBLE] body workup.

  • Cry.

  • [WEEPING]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:58,432 --> 00:03:59,923 It hurts so bad.

  • Hurts so bad.

  • It hurts so bad.

  • [WEEPING]

  • 00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:10,010 OK, you can start feeling better now.

  • Oh, I feel better.

  • You say the pain's gone?

  • 00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:19,880 You don't have any pain?

  • No, I'm completely fine.

  • I'm completely fine.

  • It's weird.

  • What did you do to me?

  • What did you do?

  • Nothing.

  • You're so good.

  • You're so good.

  • You're so good.

  • So good.

  • You're good.

  • You--

  • You are good, good, good, good.

  • You are good.

  • Good, good, good, good, good.

  • Thank you.

  • You are good.

  • You're good.

  • Thank you very much.

  • Thanks for being here.

  • Thank you for being here.

  • Well, I'm glad you're feeling better.

  • Thank you for being here.

  • No problem, I'm glad you're feeling better.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,330 I don't really need hidden cameras to do a prank.

  • I can just tell a little white lie sometimes,

  • and they just come to me.

  • There's no switch to my prank tank.

  • There really isn't.

  • Your favorite animal is.

  • The sloth.

  • Tell me why it is the sloth.

  • It certainly is.

  • Well, because they're just so, they're just--

  • because they're perfect.

  • The thing about sloths that kills me is they're--

  • it's just like-- they're not cuddly.

  • Yeah.

  • It's such a trick.

  • Because you want to snuggle them--

  • Except for the one that I got for you today.

  • Let's bring out the cutest sloth--

  • No you didn't.

  • No.

  • I just wanted to see.

  • Oh my god.

  • Oh my god.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,474 My heart is beating so fast.

  • I'm so sorry.

  • 00:05:58,869 --> 00:05:59,750 Oh my gosh.

  • All right.

  • We're going to take a break.

  • We're going to take break.

  • Oh, why would you do that?

  • I don't know.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,170 It's hump day.

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