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  • -One of the things I like most about your show is --

  • you give context to stories that I don't feel like

  • get covered a lot -- not just on late-night shows,

  • but even on news shows here in the States.

  • Prime Minister in India, Prime Minister Modi,

  • and he was here,

  • and Donald Trump went to this rally.

  • -To open for Modi. -Yeah.

  • -It was a big deal. -Yeah.

  • So, explain that, because it certainly seems surreal to me

  • to watch President Trump holding hands with another man,

  • just sort of walking through.

  • -And they were full-on swinging. -Yeah.

  • -It was a strange thing to see.

  • But for those who don't know, you know,

  • Prime Minister Modi had sold out NRG Stadium,

  • where the Texans play, in Houston.

  • 50,000-plus people showed up.

  • And then Donald Trump was like, "I'll open."

  • -Yeah. -I'm like, "Oh, I've got to go."

  • This is like the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of ethno-nationalism.

  • -Yeah.

  • -Like, imagine a Jay and Bey concert

  • but with no white or black people and no coolness at all.

  • And so I was like, "I got to be there."

  • -So you went.

  • You decided, "This is the perfect thing

  • for our show to cover."

  • -Yeah, because I knew that, like, what Modi pulled off --

  • And this is a political gangster.

  • A lot of people in the Indian community don't rock with Trump.

  • But because of this weird pairing,

  • they just had to stand for DJT.

  • -Yeah. -Yeah.

  • Like, imagine if you got Ed Sheeran tickets free.

  • -Uh-huh. -Sold out, NRG Stadium.

  • And then, a week before, they were like,

  • "Special guest -- Bill Cosby."

  • You'd be like, "All right, you've got a monster,

  • but then I really want to hear 'Shape of You.'"

  • And all the aunties and uncles were like,

  • "I got to do Shape --'" Yeah, yeah.

  • -So, you go down there. -I go down there.

  • Well, I was like, "I have to be there."

  • So we submit our press credentials.

  • Immediately get an e-mail back.

  • They're like, "We're out of space."

  • I'm like, "Word."

  • Like, I've been to Indian weddings.

  • You just walk in. -Yeah.

  • -You're out of space in a football stadium?

  • No. So, I reach out to the organizers.

  • I'm like, "Hey, come on. This is my community.

  • You guys get it. Like, I want to be there."

  • And they're like, "We're out of space, but we are discussing."

  • -Oh, my goodness. -I'm like, "All right."

  • And if you've ever done field pieces,

  • you know that you've got to show up and, you know,

  • be a good-faith actor, and they'll take care of you.

  • -Right, right.

  • -So, I show up to the press table that morning,

  • and they're like, "Mr. Minhaj, we are out of space,

  • and you've been denied because of

  • some of the comments you have made."

  • -Wow!

  • -And I'm like, "I'm sorry for making fun of cricket.

  • It's not just a sport for FOBs.

  • It's an international game that is taking over the world.

  • They're like, "No.

  • The comments you have made about Prime Minister Modi

  • were not appreciated, and you've been blacklisted."

  • -Wow!

  • -And I was like, "Dude, you're treating me like

  • Indian Jorge Ramos."

  • This is Trump 101. -Yeah.

  • -And I'm in Texas, so you guys pretty much think

  • I'm Jorge Ramos.

  • So, I'm in the parking lot and I'm just watching

  • this whole thing on live stream

  • while I'm looking at the stadium.

  • And I'm watching the program.

  • And during the program, they're honoring

  • prominent Indian-Americans.

  • "Indian-Americans have done so much

  • in arts, music, even comedy."

  • And then they show a photo of me on the Jumbotron,

  • and people start clapping.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • So, you understand what's happening.

  • -So, this -- And we do have a photo of where you were

  • when you were watching that.

  • -I'm in the parking lot.

  • So, they were honoring me for my comedy while also

  • blackmailing me and blackballing me

  • and kicking me out for my comedy.

  • It was the most Indian thing ever.

  • They were like, "We're proud of you,

  • but we'll never say it to your face."

  • It tore me apart, man.

  • Like, inside the stadium and outside the stadium,

  • there were protesters.

  • So, it's all my community.

  • This is my basic community, right?

  • And when everything's filling out -- you guys get this --

  • they were arguing.

  • Everyone is arguing with each other.

  • They're yelling at each other.

  • Cops are trying to break it up in between two people.

  • And I was like, "Dude, come on. This is us.

  • We live in the same neighborhoods.

  • You guys probably both work at Google."

  • -Yeah. -"You both weigh 135 pounds."

  • You both have never fought in your life."

  • And the police officers are like,

  • "Why are you guys arguing over sweaters?

  • Everyone can have cashmere."

  • And they're like, "That's the problem.

  • Everyone can't have Kashmir."

  • So, that was the event. -That sounds very intense.

  • -It was intense. Yeah.

  • -Was this more or less intense?

  • You went and you spoke before Congress.

  • -Yeah.

  • -You addressed the student-loan crisis.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] -Yes.

  • -And was it Maxine Waters who asked you --

  • -Maxine Waters. Yep. -She invited you.

  • -Yeah.

  • -And, so, what was the experience of

  • speaking before Congress?

  • -Well, I was kind of shocked, 'cause I was like,

  • "Is this where we've gotten?"

  • -Right.

  • -Like, if we need to move the needle on an issue,

  • you have to call up a comedian?

  • -Right, yeah.

  • -Like, "Oh, man, the opioid epidemic is out of control.

  • You know who can solve this? Gilbert Gottfried."

  • -Yeah.

  • -"Let's see what Gilbert's doing,

  • and maybe we can get this thing through."

  • But, look, I've watched one-hour dramas on TV.

  • Like, I thought Congress was going to be hot, sexy,

  • witty banter, you know, affairs in the air.

  • No. It was like the DMV in there.

  • -Yeah. -Just, like, gray lighting.

  • You show up.

  • They give you a Dixie cup and hand you

  • a "Men's Health" from 2014.

  • When I was in Congress testifying --

  • C-SPAN didn't get this, but in the corner, like where Fred is,

  • I saw a mousetrap with cheese.

  • I was like, "Dude, Trump is right --

  • there are rats in this building."

  • -Yeah. It's so low-end, though, right?

  • -Yeah. -It's just, like, brown.

  • -Yeah. It's really not -- It's really not hot.

  • -Like, the shot of the congressmen

  • and then the shot of the person testifying

  • is always very dramatic, but every time

  • they take a wide shot --

  • -You're like, "Oh, this is an open mic."

  • -Yeah. -"Three people are here."

  • All of the seats are empty.

  • -'Cause they just -- People file in,

  • they ask you five minutes of questions,

  • and then they just vamoose, right?

  • -They do their five. and then they leave.

  • -Yeah.

  • -And I stayed there the entire four hours, no bathroom breaks.

  • I thought that's what you're supposed to do.

  • -They don't give you bathroom breaks?

  • -No! And Maxine Waters told me, at the end --

  • She's like, "You should have asked."

  • I'm like, "You really wanted me to be like,

  • 'Um, Mrs. Waters, can I get the cube with the bathroom key?'"

  • -Yeah. Did you have student-debt crisis?

  • Do you have loans? -I didn't. I'm lucky.

  • -Yeah. -I'm lucky.

  • I did not have student debt.

  • You know, I have immigrant parents,

  • and they forced me to live at home,

  • so I don't have crippling student debt.

  • -Yeah.

  • -I have crippling emotional debt.

  • -Oh, sure, of course.

  • -Yeah, and Congress has yet to do anything about that.

  • -Yeah. Likely never to be repaid.

  • Hey, man, it's always such a pleasure to see you.

  • Can't wait for your show to be back in November.

  • Thanks for being here. -Thank you, buddy.

  • -Hasan Minhaj, everybody.

-One of the things I like most about your show is --

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Hasan Minhaj Was Barred from an Indian Political Rally That Trump Attended

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    林宜悉 posted on 2019/10/24
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