Name: How to Be Grateful for the Opportunity to Be Honest
Uploaded: 2019-08-30T03:54:16.000Z
Duration: 9 min 1 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

- So, read the email that you sent please.

- Yes. It says, Hi Katie, I would love to know a little bit

more about manipulation. How to identify it

and what it does to me and the other person.

Lately it seems so important to me, by doing the work

I discovered that manipulation exist a lot in my life

and it started already when I was a child.

An inquiry gives lots of insights in the turnarounds

knowing I do the manipulation or when I'm being manipulated

- Yeah - How can I recognize it, with love?

- So, with love, that's the key isn't it?

- It's the attempt to hold an identification,

- Yes - What do you want us to believe you to be?

irritation, that identity is being threatened.

"Would you like to go to the movies with me tonight?"

And your mind says Oh my gosh, I promised someone else.

I just can't, oh but they would understand

and I don't want to go to the movies, but she's so sensitive

if I tell her no, she'll be hurt and this happens so quickly

in the head. We don't even know it's going on.

And so, we say , Oh I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Sounds wonderful. Okay, so now I'm protecting an identity.

I want her to see me as a kind person so I'm a kind person.

Okay, the truth is I'm not being kind to myself.

I don't want to go to the movies. I don't even,

I don't want to go out at all. I don't even want to go

- Okay, so the tiniest lie is how you manipulate

and I don't want to go, I say thank you and no.

Now this is respectful because I am not projecting you as

sensitive human being that I don't like to be with.

and we go to the movies and it's like, you made me.

You forced me. And maybe it's not what I'm thinking

to whatever you're thinking and believing.

I am someone that doesn't want to go to the movies

and I am someone grateful for the invitation

- So, I'm honest and you can see me as a terrible person

You're going to see me the way I see you. I mean,

you're going to see me the way you see me.

You're goin to believe me to be who you believe me to be

This identity is at the mercy of your mind

- So it's really simple to, you know, I loved your question

It was fun responding. You know, defensiveness,

anytime we are coming out of anger, um...

- Yeah, I also can see that I am manipulated to get love

I manipulate, I lie to you so that you'll

love me and care about me, see me as kind,

- Because that person you're caring about isn't me.

- You're going to the movies with someone you think is kind