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  • It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.

  • I'm Ronnie.

  • I'm not Mr. Rogers.

  • I'm going to teach you something today that's I think kind of interesting, and I would like

  • to know your opinion; if you agree or disagree with this theory.

  • This is a psychological theory.

  • Let's dive into your brain.

  • Delicious.

  • There's been many studies done on what we call "birth order".

  • So, "birth order" means if you were born first, second, or third.

  • We also call it, like, the middle-baby syndrome.

  • I've just made that up.

  • But if you're... if you're the middle kid, you have disadvantages; there's TV shows about

  • it, called Malcolm in the Middle.

  • There's been so many things, so much research done about this, and I'm just going to share

  • this with you, and you can learn some vocabulary, and you can learn something about yourself,

  • and if you are a parent you can maybe learn something about your children.

  • Why are they so crazy?

  • Why are those little devils doing that?

  • Or why is my child an angel?

  • So, this is called "birth order".

  • And the first thing I want to teach you is few slang words in regard to parenting.

  • So, one of them is called a "mama's boy".

  • You probably have this in your language.

  • "Mama's boy" is a boy who always depends on their mother.

  • So, a mama's boy will never really become fully independent.

  • His mother will always do his laundry; cook his dinner, and lunch, and breakfast; and

  • basically never, ever grow up.

  • So, you don't actually want to produce a mama's boy and you don't actually want to be a mama's

  • boy because, in the future, it will cause problems in relationships because no one can

  • ever replace your mother and... oh, so the trauma begins.

  • So, "mama's boy" are boys who depend too much on their mothers.

  • So, mamas, stop babying your son.

  • Make him do the cooking and the laundry.

  • Relax.

  • Take a bubble bath.

  • Eat some bonbons.

  • Let that kid do the washing up.

  • Okay, the other one is a new sensation called "helicopter parenting".

  • So, in our society, because it has become more dangerous, parents now have to actually

  • walk their children to school.

  • When I was a child, I got to go to school by myself-yay-and cross the road, and I survived.

  • But, again, our society is getting more dangerous, depending on where you live.

  • Now parents must walk the kids to school and pick them up.

  • So, this obviously would interfere with having a job and properly maybe a life.

  • So, "helicopter parenting" means that the parents watch the children too much.

  • Before it was called being "overprotective".

  • So, if you have an overprotective mother or father, they're always watching what you're

  • doing, they're always worried, and it's really annoying because you want your freedom.

  • So, helicopter parenting is just being overprotective about your children.

  • Of course, it's your natural instinct to protect your children, but sometimes it gets too much.

  • Another example of this is for children's birthday parties.

  • When I was a child, I would go to my friend's birthday party by myself, maybe my mother

  • and father would drop me off, and I would play for a couple of hours, eat some cake,

  • go home.

  • Now the parents actually go to the kids' birthday parties.

  • You guys just want cake.

  • I get it.

  • Good idea.

  • Yeah.

  • "I'm protecting my children."

  • You're protecting your stomach from the cake.

  • Okay, I get it.

  • So, this is parent... helicopter parenting.

  • Negative, positive?

  • You decide.

  • So, let's start with the "first born"; your very first baby.

  • So, you are really excited for the very first baby but you are also very, very, very nervous

  • because you want the baby to survive.

  • So, as a parent, the first baby you don't know what to do, of course; you've never done

  • this before.

  • So, you have very strict rules and everything is crazy.

  • If the baby is sick: "Oh my god!

  • It's an emergency!"

  • That's normal.

  • So, what the effect of this is: The first born are always going to have the most strict

  • parents and the most strict rules.

  • Okay?

  • And that's wonderful.

  • The baby grows up, then-doo-doo-doo-doo-surprise - you have another child.

  • So, what happens is with the birth of the second child, the first born is going to learn

  • really, really positive things.

  • The child is going to learn to nurture and love-hopefully-his or her baby brother or

  • sister.

  • So, they are taught to teach the child, and they are taught to love them.

  • So, you see little boys and little girls are very excited for their little baby brothers

  • or baby sisters.

  • Till they be born, they ask their Mom or Dad: "Mom, I want a baby brother for Christmas."

  • Uh-oh.

  • So, this is a very positive thing.

  • They also are very eager or they want to please others.

  • They want to please their mother and father; they want their parents to be happy, so this

  • is good.

  • When the new baby is born, they understand other people's needs, so they think: "Oh,

  • hey, I'm not the only kid here.

  • There's another person, and oh... oh, hey.

  • This little guy wants to use my toys, too.

  • Okay."

  • So they learn to be more adaptive; they learn to share things, they learn to take care of

  • other people.

  • They like to teach, some of them.

  • This, of course, is not everyone.

  • So they like to teach their little brother and sister how to do things because they're

  • the responsible one.

  • And they like to lead; they like to be leaders.

  • So, most of them like to teach them because they feel proud.

  • So, these are the very positive aspects about being the first born and then having another

  • little baby.

  • But there are bad things, and this is where you have to watch out if you are a parent.

  • So, of course, with a new baby, the first baby is going to be jealous because all of

  • the attention is now given to the new baby.

  • So, the new baby will get toys and the first born won't get any toys.

  • So, a lot of parents buy a toy for the baby and for the older brother or sister.

  • They're going to experience a sense of loss, and this is losing their toys, this is losing

  • all of the attention from the mother and father as well, and they feel really sad about this

  • and jealous.

  • They need to share the attention or share the love of the mother and father; they don't

  • like this.

  • And they feel a lot of pressure because they always need help; they always need to help

  • the mother and father.

  • So, the mother... maybe you're busy and you say: "Oh, okay, come on.

  • Let's... let's... help... help me do this.

  • I need you to help me", so they feel a lot of responsibility.

  • Depending on the child, they might really like this, or they might find it awful because

  • they just want to play, but: "Oh my god, I have to help my baby brother" or "my baby

  • sister".

  • So, we have to be aware of what happens in the developmental brain of a child.

  • Why are they acting out?

  • Why are they doing this?

  • These are the reasons.

  • They're jealous.

  • The "second born".

  • So, if you're the second born - wow, you get one thing that's really cool, is your mother

  • and father have done this already; they're cool.

  • So, if you sneeze, you're not going to run to the hospital; they know you just have a

  • cold.

  • So, the parents are calmer, they learn more, they've done this already.

  • They know what happened.

  • You get to learn from your older sibling.

  • So, "sibling" means brother or sister.

  • So, hopefully your older brother and sister will help you do things, and that's fun; you

  • can learn from them.

  • Because of this, theory has it that you read and you can develop faster because it's the

  • help of your older brother or sister.

  • Now, maybe if your older brother or sister doesn't help you, you can't read faster.

  • That's fine.

  • I have an older brother.

  • [Clears throat].

  • So, in theory, the older one will help the younger one and they will develop faster.

  • But with everything in life, there are some drawbacks or some negative things about being

  • the second born.

  • The first one is because your sibling is older, they can obviously do more things, so you

  • or the baby would begin to feel inadequate.

  • "Inadequate" means you feel like you can't do something.

  • So, depending on the age, if a 5-year-old can do something, a 2-year-old can't do it

  • - logically we can understand this, but the child doesn't.

  • So, we need to guide the child and say: "Oh, yeah, yeah, but look it: Your brother is 5

  • and you're only 2.

  • Your brother can paint and draw, and you just eat crayons.

  • That's fine; you're only 2 years old."

  • Another thing they do is they try to imitate the older brother or sister.

  • So, you might think: "Oo, okay".

  • "Imitate" means they copy what the older brother or sister does.

  • Sometimes this is negative because maybe the older brother and sister do bad things, so

  • of course, the child would like to do the same as the brother and sister - this could

  • be double; double trouble.

  • And also it annoys the older brother or sister.

  • And, of course, they're jealous.

  • All kids are jealous.

  • They're jealous of the older brother or sister, because the older brother and sister can do

  • cool things; they can go with their friends and you can't, or they can do different things,

  • different activities that you can't do.

  • So, there's a big loss here and they... they're very competitive.

  • "I want to be like my brother and sister."

  • They have a drive.

  • Maybe this helps you in real life because you are competitive.

  • The last one-me-is the "last born" or the baby of the family.

  • This word: "imitate" I've spelt wrong, actually only has one "m", so: "I imitate" is only

  • with one "m".

  • I like to put in two m's; it's fun, but it's wrong.

  • So: "imitate".

  • The last one or the baby is what I am, so I have one older brother-thank god only one-and

  • I am the baby of the family.

  • The babies... are they the coolest?

  • Maybe.

  • I think so.

  • So, the babies will never grow up in the parents' eyes.

  • So, the cool thing about this is the parents now have amazing confidence; they've done

  • this not one time before, but two times before, so: "Hey, kid, if you want to run with scissors

  • down the hall, go ahead.

  • We're cool.

  • I'm going to have a bubble bath while you do that."

  • So, parents have more confidence; therefore, maybe you have fewer rules or the rules are

  • different.

  • So, the child has more freedom.

  • Now, is this positive or negative?

  • I think it's cool.

  • They get more attention from the mother and father because they're the baby.

  • Maybe they're a surprise baby.

  • Now, a "surprise baby" means that the mother and father didn't really plan on having a

  • baby-that's funny-but you're surprised.

  • So, surprise babies-"Woo-hoo, we're having another brother and sister"-this can be difficult

  • for the first and the second born.

  • But the baby also develops skills faster than the second one because now they have two kids

  • to teach them, and they have two kids to look up to or two kids to admire.

  • "I want to be like my baby brother" or "my older brother or sister".

  • They tend to be more creative, probably because, again, they have more freedom.

  • They are more confident; again, no helicopter parenting.

  • And a really cool skill is they can be alone because they have a sense of security in the

  • family.

  • Okay, then we come to the negative things about being a baby.

  • Maybe you will always be the baby in the family.

  • So, you can use this and you can do this crazy thing called "be manipulative".

  • You can manipulate people.

  • So, because you're the baby, like: "I'm the baby.

  • I can't do anything", so you always get your older brother and sister to do it for you.

  • This causes you to be very lazy, and may cause you to be irresponsible.

  • So, you always depend on someone else to do what you should be doing.

  • "Ah, you know, that other person will do it; I don't need to do it."

  • Guess what, baby?

  • Yes, you do.

  • You're not a baby anymore; you're an adult.

  • Come on.

  • Do it.

  • They also tend to be dare devils.

  • What's a "dare devil"?

  • A "dare devil" is someone who does something a little bit dangerous; bungee jumping - no

  • problem.

  • Okay?

  • They like to test the rules; also, they're rebellious.

  • So, the parents give them a rule and they think: "Pfft, whatever.

  • I don't need to follow that rule."

  • So, they test the parents because you have fewer rules, they feel more freedom, they

  • can get into trouble.

  • Yeah, they can climb a tree and break their leg.

  • So, you dare devil babies, be careful.

  • Do you agree with this?

  • What's your opinion of this?

  • What baby are you?

  • Are you the first, second, third, fourth, fifth?

  • How many brothers and sisters do you have?

  • Or how many children do you have?

  • If you do have children, good luck.

  • Please take care of them and give them all the love you can.

  • Till next time, I'm outta here.