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  • What is Eugene H. Krabs' net worth really?

  • Money!

  • With the help of an accredited financial advisor,

  • we sifted through the archived footage and found out once and for all.

  • How much is the Krab worth?

  • To deduce this, we had to calculate his revenues minus his costs

  • to determine his lifetime net profits.

  • Question one.

  • What is Mr. Krabs' annual income from The Krusty Krab?

  • Mr. Krabs frequently exploits his restaurant's popularity,

  • engaging in price gouging and even charging his employees

  • for use of the building's services.

  • According to SpongeBob in Big Pink Loser,

  • when he started working, Mr. Krabs charged him $100 an hour.

  • OK, the easiest way to tell how much Mr. Krabs actually pays his employees

  • is by looking at the Krusty Krabs' hours.

  • All in all, SpongeBob and Squidward work 82 hours per week.

  • So Squidward and SpongeBob work a total 4,264 hours a year,

  • with no real breaks.

  • No one's taken a break at The Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59!

  • Squidward has admitted that Mr. Krabs pays minimum wage.

  • May I resume my minimum wage duties?

  • So what does The Krusty Krab make in a year?

  • Well, we need to look at how many customers The Krusty Krab has.

  • There are 538 residents of Bikini Bottom total.

  • Since The Krusty Krab is the most popular restaurant in Bikini Bottom,

  • it's safe to say the residents likely visit twice a week on average.

  • That would equate to 1,076 customers a week,

  • making about 180 customers per day.

  • Now, let us observe The Krusty Krab menu, otherwise known as The Galley Grub.

  • A Krabby Meal is three dollars and fifty cents.

  • Our trusted accredited financial advisor

  • says we should use that as our average dollars spent per customer.

  • Now let's have him crunch the numbers for us...

  • $630 dollars a day in Krusty Krab revenue.

  • I mean, that means The Krusty Krab makes $3,780 a week.

  • So $1,189 are spent on employees a week.

  • Therefore Mr. Krabs takes $2,591 a week for himself.

  • You heard it here first, that's some pretty good earnings!

  • Gee, thanks, Mr. Krabs!

  • I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad!

  • But how does this pan out annually?

  • I'm going to assume that Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob and Squidward

  • the lowest benefits package, meaning no 401 K contributions.

  • Healthcare, life insurance, commuter benefits, supplemental pay,

  • wellness program, paid leave, pension

  • and, he absolutely does not pay overtime.

  • With this info, we can calculate their yearly salaries.

  • Wow, that's more than I make in a year!

  • SpongeBob and Squidward make an annual income of about $30,000 a year.

  • OK, question two.

  • What are Mr. Krabs' other expenses?

  • May I take your money?

  • We can assume he does minimal shopping.

  • He wears the same outfit every day.

  • He also pays little to no taxes, does not engage in philanthropy,

  • has no marketing budget and keeps his margins remarkably low.

  • Even stealing wholesale goods for The Krusty Krab!

  • He also surprisingly does not have any debt,

  • but there are a few things he does pay for...

  • You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs!

  • Number one His girlfriend, Mrs. Puff.

  • Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach!

  • On average, Mr. Krabs takes Mrs. Puff out on a date once a week.

  • He obviously likes to keep it cheap,

  • spending no more than $60 on a date at a time.

  • $60 a week multiplied by 52 weeks...

  • That's $3,120 per year spent on Mrs. Puff.

  • Number two. His house.

  • Mr. Krabs' home is also a valuable fixed asset of his.

  • Mr. Krabs' house has an estimated cash equivalent value of $120,000!

  • Number three. His daughter, Pearl.

  • As mentioned earlier, Mr. Krabs has very few financial weaknesses,

  • but his daughter Pearl is definitely one of them.

  • The average individual spends around $13,000 per year on a child.

  • So it's safe to assume Mr. Krabs spends around $10,000 a year on Pearl.

  • Only $10,000!

  • Question three. Just how rich is Mr. Krabs today?

  • It's safe to assume he started depositing $10,000 in a money market account

  • with a *nnual interest rate.

  • So, let's put all the numbers together.

  • Cue our financial wizard!

  • Mr. Krabs has a net worth of...

  • [drum roll]

  • $5,249,351!

  • Huh!

  • Who's his financial advisor?

  • Would ya look at that?

  • His millionaire status is actually confirmed by the Krab himself!

  • This is my one millionth dollar earned!

  • So, you ask, is Mr. Krabs filthy rich?

  • And I answer, undoubtedly, me boy!

  • That's all for today, folks.

  • Drop a comment below and let us know what you want us to figure out

  • in the next episode of Inside Bikini Bottom.

  • Show's over, cheapskate!

What is Eugene H. Krabs' net worth really?

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