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  • You know this is?

  • This is you about five minutes.

  • Because you're gonna speak English better than a native!

  • The average English person is terrible at grammar, spelling and you know . . . being social.

  • For example: If you hear any native English speaker say the word "pronOUnciation" instead of saying it "pronunciation", punch them in the facehard.

  • True story:

  • I used to work for someone who would send emails to very high-profile clients in other companies.

  • She was a native English speaker.

  • And her grammar and spelling were so, so bad.

  • A five-year-old could have done better.

  • So today you're going to learn the very common mistakes that native English speakers make.

  • Of course there are the annoying ones: they're, their, there; your, you're.

  • Yes, okay sometimes I have made that mistake.

  • It can be a brain fart and generally we know that those are wrong.

  • But these next five examples of mistakes that native English speakers make, make us sound so annoyingly stupid.

  • It makes me want to poke my eyes out.

  • First some pronunciation, again it's not pronOUnciation.

  • That deserves a punch in the face.

  • But how about this: Ask your native English-speaking friends how do you pronounce that letter.

  • I guarantee you a large percentage of them will say: "haitch".

  • It's not "haitch", no! It's "aitch".

  • Punch in the face!

  • For all you Italians, this will annoy you:

  • How do we say espresso?

  • We change the S for an X. "EXpresso."

  • Punch in the face!

  • And I especially get annoyed at "eXpecially".

  • Where are these X's coming from?

  • It's equally awful and definitely deserves a punch in the face and defriending from Facebook forever.

  • This you will see more in text and written things but if you listen carefully sometimes you can hear it.

  • What am I talking about? This.

  • "So Steve didn't come to the party."

  • "Yeah, but he would of."

  • "Sorry, he . . . ?"

  • "If he could of, he would of."

  • "Would of!"

  • "Could of!"

  • "Would of", "could of" and "should of".

  • These aren't things. Stop.

  • Why do British people do this?

  • You have to think of the contraction.

  • "Would have", "would've". Would've, would've.

  • Say it enough times.

  • Would've, would of . . . would of . . . would of?

  • Is it "would of"?

  • No!

  • I guarantee you, search on Twitter the term "would of".

  • You will find millions of examples of people using this incorrectly.

  • It's nuts!

  • So just remember, it's not "would of", it's "would have", "should have", "could have".

  • Also, native English speakers always get the third conditional wrong.

  • In third conditionals, wishes or ifs about a past situation;

  • You have to remember the order.

  • "If"+"had" with "verb three", right?

  • Or "I wish"+"had"+"verb three".

  • Or "if only"+"had"+"verb three".

  • The hypothetical result of that includes "would have", "could have", sure!

  • But not with the "if" clause.

  • Oh, what's that?

  • Trump isn't very good at grammar?

  • Shocking!

  • "If I would have relied on fake news of CNN . . ."

  • So what did he want to say?

  • He wanted to say:

  • If I "had" relied on . . .

  • Blah blah blah . . . bullshit.

  • But he's . . . an idiot.

  • Much more commonly, you will hear this in conversation and see it in text conversation.

  • "If I would have known!" or "I wish I would have known!".

  • You can correct your friends now!

  • You know that this isn't the right way.

  • What way should it be?

  • "If I had known!" or "I wish I had known!"

  • The next one is:

  • "Me and him went to the pub."

  • Subject pronouns. Yeah.

  • It's not "me and him", it's "he and I".

  • Remember we're using subject pronouns.

  • You wouldn't, for example, say "Me went to the pub."

  • No! You'd say "I went to the pub."

  • "I did a thing", not "Me did a thing".

  • And it's the done thing to let the other person go first in the sentence.

  • So "Me and him" . . . "He and I".

  • And finally.

  • "I was talking to this one girl. She sent me some textses."

  • . . . Textses.

  • Why would you pluralise something that's already plural!

  • Texts!

  • If anyone says that, you know what to do!

  • Hard!

  • And if you ever see your friends on social media making any of these mistakes, you can be that really super popular friend and correct their grammar.

  • Everyone loves that person.

  • Are there any I've missed?

  • What mistakes have you noticed that British or native English speakers make?

  • Let me know in the comments and I'll see you in the next class!

You know this is?

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A2 UK native english native punch grammar pub relied

Speak English BETTER than a native!! - English lesson!

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    Celeste posted on 2019/06/22
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