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  • hey what's up Stefanie the English coach here from EnglishFullTime.com

  • in this video I want to talk to you guys about why you don't understand native

  • English speakers sometimes now a lot of you say you understand me

  • I speak very clearly I'm presenting I'm trying to make myself understood

  • but at the same time this is how I speak I speak very clearly even when I speak

  • quickly with that said I already made a video about why you don't understand

  • movies and TV shows a native English speakers but today I want to focus on a

  • few different things that I didn't mention in that video and if you're

  • interested in that video and you haven't seen it yet I'll go ahead and link it up

  • here okay but what I really want to say is we all know that when you're first

  • studying a language you're not going to understand everything that's obvious but

  • most of you here are at a pretty high level in your English language I mean

  • I'm speaking 100% in English I speak quickly so if you're here and you're

  • understanding your English is that a really great level ok and it's

  • frustrating right when you understand me but then you don't understand other

  • people and you're like what's wrong with me something must be wrong with me no

  • nothing is wrong with you I am here to tell you that it's probably not even

  • your fault okay and I'm gonna explain why it's not your fault

  • and that a lot of times native English speakers are to blame when you don't

  • understand them or no one's to blame but it's definitely not your fault okay so

  • reason number one why you might not understand a native English speaker

  • maybe they have really really bad speaking habits they mumble they speak

  • too quickly they don't enunciate that's not your fault for not

  • understanding them if I hear a person speak like that I might be like whoa

  • what are they saying and I'm a native English speaker now granted I might be

  • able to understand a little bit better than you because I have more experience

  • with this language but in general when people don't enunciate okay when when

  • they are mumbling when they're speaking too quietly I have to be like what

  • excuse me can you speak up please I don't understand you

  • so it's not your fault when people do this it's their fault okay for having

  • bad speaking it's now a quick story about this

  • because I could totally relate to you guys on this I was in Argentina for

  • those of you who don't know I lived there for six years my husband is from

  • Argentina we were over there we were at an asado which is a barbecue with his

  • friends and he had a friend there who was speaking so fast and I was like

  • listening intently trying to understand what he was saying and my brain was

  • hurting because I was like working so hard just to understand this guy and I

  • started feeling really bad I was like man you know I've been living in

  • Argentina for six years I speak Spanish apparently I don't speak it well or I

  • don't understand well something must be wrong with me because I don't understand

  • this guy and I just started beating myself up for not understanding him and

  • then the next day I told Ren about it and I was like you know what I've been

  • feeling really bad ever since the barbecue with your friend I was like I

  • just didn't understand like almost anything he said I had to work really

  • hard to understand him and he speaks so fast and you know what Ren said he was

  • like that's fine nobody understands him I was like what are you kidding me he's

  • like no nobody understands him we don't know what he said is half the time that

  • he's talking he speaks way too fast he has really bad speaking habits and I was

  • like you've got to be kidding me right now so I was beating myself up like

  • something was wrong with me and nothing was wrong with me

  • or my Spanish or anything it's that guy that has bad speaking habits so it's

  • it's really unfortunate because language is a way to communicate and if we're not

  • communicating well nobody's gonna understand us and that kind of defeats

  • the purpose of language which is for communication so anyways you need to be

  • able to recognize bad speaking habits in your native language and in other

  • languages so that you can realize when you don't understand somebody what it's

  • because of are you unfamiliar with their accent is it because they simply have

  • bad speaking habits what is it because of because if you can identify what it's

  • because of then you'll realize that you're not to blame

  • 99.9% of the time and that's good because

  • if not you're gonna be way too hard on yourself and that's not necessary you

  • don't need that kind of pressure oh and quick story about the different

  • accents thing I was in a grocery store one time in Bariloche in Argentina and

  • I hear these people speaking this foreign language and I was like wow that

  • sounds so cool and I was like Ren what language do you think they're speaking

  • and he's like are you kidding me that's Chilean Spanish I was like what so it

  • was Spanish and I speak Spanish I am a fluent Spanish speaker and people from

  • Chile which is like across the border right it's just

  • Argentina's here and Chile is right next to it they're Spanish apparently is so

  • different I didn't even recognize it I didn't even know it was Spanish okay so

  • that's not my fault it's not my fault that I didn't

  • understand them they speak a dialect that I like never heard in my life and

  • I'm completely unfamiliar with and they were probably speaking very quickly you

  • know there were people my age so maybe they were using a lot of slang I don't

  • know so I think I made my point there let's move on okay

  • sometimes when native speakers are speaking you will understand all the

  • words that they say but you won't understand the meaning that's probably

  • not your fault for example my friend Pete from Aussie English we were on the

  • phone a few months ago and he was just like yeah mate I was taking the piss out

  • of myself lately and I was like you why it's taking the piss out of yourself I

  • didn't even know what that meant and you know what I don't remember what it means

  • so I'm gonna have to go look it up now but it means something apparently an

  • Australian English it's an idiom right and this is y idiomatic expressions are

  • so difficult because if you're not familiar with that idiomatic expression

  • you'll have no idea it's like the person is speaking another language they're

  • saying it all in English but you're like I have no idea what you just said okay

  • so again that phrase taking the piss out of myself lately or whatever I did not

  • know what that meant and I still don't know what it means I forgot he told me

  • but I forgot so I will look that up and if you want to know I guess you can look

  • it up too or I will you know what I'll put it in the

  • description that way we all have it so again sometimes your

  • understand all the words that you hear but you're not gonna understand the

  • meaning because it might be an idiomatic expression that you're unfamiliar with

  • ok the next reason why you might not understand native English speakers

  • sometimes is because you have zero interest in a conversation this happens

  • to me all the time in Spanish actually more frequently than I want to admit and

  • it's involuntary it's not my fault my brain does this and I wish it wouldn't

  • but for example if I'm at the dinner table and everyone's talking about

  • something that is really technical and I just don't feel like thinking about what

  • they're saying and you know making sense of it and I just I get lost or something

  • in the conversation all of a sudden my brain like shuts off I start thinking

  • about something entirely different and then in a few seconds or a minute

  • however long it takes me I come back and I'm like oh my gosh I was listening I

  • was hearing everything people were saying but it's like my brain wasn't

  • there and my family in Argentina or Ren's family they know that this

  • happens to me all the time so they just refer to it as Stefanieland they're

  • like oh Stefanie come back you're in Stefanie land again they can like see

  • it in my eyes my eyes just glaze over but this happens to me it's if I have

  • zero interest in a conversation or I mean that even seems or sounds kind of

  • rude to say but if my brain determines that the conversation is not important

  • to me then I just zone out and it's involuntary I try to control it but a

  • lot of times it happens to me if this happens to you you're not alone let me

  • know if it happens to you actually in the comments that way I know that I'm

  • not alone and this is one of the reasons why sometimes I don't understand things

  • in Spanish just because I'm like not even paying attention again its

  • involuntary okay I'm not being rude like oh I'm not gonna pay attention it like

  • happens to me okay next another reason why you might not understand native

  • English speakers is because the language they use is not clear its convoluted and

  • it's confusing this happens so often and it's unfortunate but for example

  • sometimes people struggle to communicate abstract ideas or if it's a vague

  • concept that they haven't fully developed in their own mind then

  • yeah they're gonna struggle to communicate that because they don't even

  • really know what they think so it's hard to communicate exactly what they think

  • cuz they don't know exactly what they think other times people speak in

  • riddles or they don't say what they mean they just sort of allude to something or

  • imply something and you're left like okay what like what are you trying to

  • say or what are you saying this even happens to me when I'm talking

  • with people if they're not being clear I have to bring that to their attention

  • and say okay I'm sorry this isn't clear can you please explain what you mean

  • okay again not your fault it's not your fault for not understanding when someone

  • else is being unclear and using convoluted language also recently one of

  • my friends who is Russian and she emigrated to the USA I think like 20

  • years ago or something she was really struggling with a document from work

  • that was written all in English it was these emails that people were writing

  • back and forth to each other they had a problem her job was to read through the

  • emails figure out the problem solved the problem get back to them etc and she

  • could not figure out like what they were talking about so she asked me for help I

  • read the emails and I was just like oh my gosh like the way these people are

  • writing yeah their native English speakers yeah it's English but it's so

  • confusing the way that they're writing I didn't even understand it and it's like

  • when people try to write in this formal way but it's like overdone to the point

  • where it no longer makes sense it's just like oh you could have said this so much

  • simpler or instead of saying what something is they say what something

  • isn't this is something I learned in my English class a long time ago in high

  • school right it's better to say what something is then what something isn't

  • for example if someone says it's not that I don't understand what happened

  • it's just that X Y Z instead of saying it's not that I don't understand what

  • happened which is super confusing you could just say I understand what

  • happened however do you see how that is so much more like oh it's so much easier

  • to understand yes because it's clear it's not convoluted it's not like a

  • double negative in a sentence right somebody

  • have very very bad communication habits unfortunately but again the point of

  • this video is to remind you that it's not always your fault okay and when you

  • can understand what the heck is going on around you it just makes it a lot easier

  • to be confident to feel in control and feel like it's not your fault and you're

  • okay it's not your problem okay speaking of it's not your fault and it's not your

  • problem one of the other reasons why you might not understand native English

  • speakers is because you were never taught how people speak in real life in

  • whatever course you did or class you did lessons you did whatever it is you were

  • probably not taught the way people speak in real life you were not introduced to

  • fast speech or connected speech or anything like that okay and that is a

  • huge problem because you become very confident in your English class maybe

  • you're the best student and you're like yeah I get the best grades I'm able to

  • answer the teachers questions this is awesome and then you go into the real

  • world and you're like oh my gosh and you have this rude awakening and you're like

  • oh okay nobody actually talks the way I was

  • taught in class I know because the same thing happened to me I studied Spanish

  • in high school in immersion programs I studied it in college you guys I know

  • that the same exact thing happened to me it's not our fault I wish that all

  • language institutions would kind of get with the program and really teach more

  • modern language but whatever if they're not gonna do it then we have to pick up

  • the slack and make it happen for ourselves right be independent

  • proactive learners okay and the last reason that I'll cover in this video of

  • why you might not understand native English speakers it could be related to

  • anxiety right if you have a lot of anxiety when it comes to speaking having

  • conversations interacting with native speakers then your brain can just go

  • into survival mode and you're like oh my gosh and you can't focus on anything

  • you're not relaxed and this anxiety makes it a lot more difficult for you to

  • communicate now with this anxiety think about it like this it's like people that

  • are good at math but they suck at math tests right they're good at math but

  • then here comes the test anxiety kicks in and it's like all the things that you

  • knew how to do suddenly get shut off and you can't do them anxiety will do this

  • to you so if you are struggling with any kind of anxiety when it comes to

  • communication this is definitely something to work on to focus on I talk

  • a lot about anxiety and confidence in my course connect and communicate if you're

  • interested in that I'll go ahead and leave a link in the description but just

  • a warning this is not a traditional English course this is about using

  • English as a tool to get better opportunities so I teach people how to

  • connect with native English speakers network with other professionals and how

  • to communicate with others professionally and confidently so I'll

  • leave a link to that below in the course we definitely talked a lot about anxiety

  • and confidence what produces anxiety why you might have a lack of confidence how

  • to overcome this etc once you really understand all of this stuff it's so

  • much easier to overcome okay so with that said thank you so much for watching

  • the video let me know what you think in the comments if you enjoyed this video

  • please give it a thumbs up and if you're not subscribed to this channel I

  • definitely invite you to subscribe and for those of you who haven't downloaded

  • the guide on practicing your English with native speakers I'm going to link

  • it in the description as well this guide is for anybody who wants to meet native

  • English speakers online to practice and improve their English that's it I hope

  • you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one bye

hey what's up Stefanie the English coach here from EnglishFullTime.com

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