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Hi we're Joel & Lia and today's video is dumb
Texas laws! So before we start we're sorry

if the sound is slightly weird on this video,
our sound recorder hasn't worked. It's not

working, cool. So I don't know what this is
gunna sound like, it's back to the old days!

Brand new, not working, cool. No complaints
please. No complaints. Okay, we're not gunna

claim ownership of this, we found it online
on dumblaws.com. Well we thought, obviously

everywhere in the world there's stupid laws
so we're like well why don't we just try to

have a look, you know, if there's any dumb
laws in Texas, we'll just do a few different

ones. I've spoken about one of my personal
favourites from London before, which was a

pregnant woman is allowed to pee inside a
policemans hat if she needs to pee. And apparently

it's still a law. It's so weird. Can't wait
to be preggy and pee in a hat! I wonder if

someone's put it into practice. Oh yeah I
bet. Sorry, sorry, give me your hat! I think

it's because the hats used to be tin. Not
tin, but like, hard hats and now they're just

like... I think they still are, they still
wear the hats like that. Yeah but not as heavy

as they used to be, like policeman now - alright
how many years have you been around?! "Not

like they used to be", I sound like a 60 year
old woman. Okay, let's crack on with some

Texan laws that are a bit stupid. First law:
it is illegal to sell ones eye. That's so

random. But why just eye, surely it should
be illegal to sell your body parts. You can

sell your teeth, you can sell your ear lobes,
but not your eye. What about both eyes? Coz

it says 'ones eye', it doesn't say it's illegal
to see 'ones eyeS'. Oh yeah, it says ones

eye. So it's like, doing a dodgy deal. You
can sell both, but don't sell one. Yeah don't

come to me with one eye mate, like what are
you doing? That's ridiculous and who would

buy an eye? Yeah, I don't know. It's a bit
like the kid in Stranger Things, no, not Stranger

Things, did you watch The End of the F***ing
World on Netflix? Because he collects all

those weird things in the shed. Yeah he'd
definitely just have like an eye. American

families, I know what you collect! I'm kidding.
So another one is "One must acknowledge a

supreme being before being able to hold public
office" so basically if you're going to hold

public office, if you're gunna be on the council
or a mayor, then you've got to acknowledge

God and say that you believe in God. Which
doesn't surprise me, coz Texas is like very

Christian-y isn't it. Oh wow. Just to get
a place, just to get a job, you've gotta be

like I'm sorry if I don't, I believe. So even
if they don't they've gotta say that they

do. Gotta pretend. Oh that's so dumb. I think
that's silly you can just be who you wanna

be, just believe whatever you wanna believe
and you should still be able to be a sheriff,

if that's what the job title is! If you dream
of being a sheriff and you're not, you should

be allowed to not be one. Have we got any
sheriffs watching? Yeah! I'd love to know

a sheriff in real life. I've always wanted
to meet a sheriff. My name's Lia, I love cooking

omelettes and I'd love to make an omelette
for a sheriff. and I'd love to meet, a sheriff.

it's such a weird fact. Erm, I've always wanted
to know a sheriff. Always put me red lipstick

on and give one a big kiss on the lips. Why
am I chatting... funny stuff. Why's your book

upside down? That one? That hat? The Lia book
is upside down. Lia book...? The book that

says 'Lia'. It says Lia on it?? Oh my gosh,
did you not know? No. Are you joking? That's

the whole point, why did you think the pages
are folded? Oh, I just thought she did a nice

art thing. I've literally never seen .... How
did you not see that? I just thought, 'oh

it's sweet of her to like fold it into a thing'
I'm not joking. Show the camera. This is a

book that a viewer gave Lia, where she's folded
the pages. You did it on your Insta story

and I was like that's amazing, but you didn't
even see the Lia? No I just went "Oh I've

had this really nice gift". Did not see the
Lia until right now. Coz it was upside down

on your shelf. Yeah I just put it on my shelf,
I was like that's such a cool like art piece...

I had no idea. This is what I have to work
with. Joel, if that's your biggest problem

then you're lucky, so shut up. Sorry you think
you've got problems? My business partner doesn't

even know her names spelled in a book. Okay
she can't see an illusion, get over it! SO

sweet! So sweet! A sheriff would never do
that for me. That was from a lovely viewer

from Sweden. Who's not a sheriff. Thank you
Joel, I'll put it back correctly. I just wanna

be in your brain sometimes, and just know
why you thought a fan gave you a folded book,

you must have just been like why is it folded?
Yeah exactly, I was like aww so sweet but

like... so funny! No that's really cool, I
was really jealous when I saw it coz I've

seen those online, people pay a lot of money
for those on Etsy. Oh wow. Like to have their

name spelled, coz people know how to fold
it. And I really wanted one, but clearly the

viewer just likes Lia and not me. But anyway,
ONWARDS! Dumb laws in Texas! Sorry guys, he's

dealing with his own stuff. If you're enjoying
this video don't forget to click subscribe

and the notification bell so that you know
when we're uploading videos. You can be the

first one to watch them. And the poll for
today is do you think these laws are real

or are they just having us on? Like, let us
know in the poll above Lia's head. It is illegal

to milk another persons cow. Oh my gosh, that's
so funny. Imagine that scene, Stop milking

my cow! That's ridiculous, when did that come
into law? And why is it still a law? I think

it's coz cows are like peoples bread and butter.
Oh it's their property. These are my cows,

I make money off of these guys, don't you
dare milk my cow. What if it's to stop pickpockets,

but they're like pick-teats, pick-udders,
and they like to squeeze it into their mouth

and run off and you're like that is illegal.
Just need a drink. Just need a little squirt.

eww that's gross! That's so rank. But Lia's
dairy-free so, you would never do that. Oh

I would never milk another persons cow. Only
just if the cow wanted it. It sounds like

a euphemism, milk another persons cow. It
sounds like I would never sleep with your

wife. I would never milk your cow. Hey, do
you wanna come milk my cow. I've got a lot

of respect for you Joel, I would never milk
your cow. Oh thanks so much. But actually

this maybe makes sense because Texas are big
on cows aren't they! They like cattle herding,

the cowboys, they catch the cows. Oh yeah,
they're big on cows they are. So that makes

sense! This cow is our cow, don't go near
it and don't even think about touching it's

tits. Literally. Don't even think about it.
Don't give the tits a squeeze. Okay this is

weird, it can't be true, but it's on dumblaws.com
so maybe it is. It says that a recently passed

anti-crime law requires criminals to give
their victims 24 hours notice, either orally

or in writing, and to explain the nature of
the crime that is to be committed. What? How

can they even enforce that? What? I don't
- say it to me in English. So they require

criminals, they're like, look if you're gunna
commit a crime, before you do that you need

to give you victim 24 hours notice to tell
them why you're about to do that to them.

You're kidding! So if I wanted to burgle you,
I'd have to be like hi Lia just so you know

I am gunna burgle your house and the reason
I'm gunna do it is because I really like your

computer so I really want to take that for
myself. No criminals are gunna do that! I

would've loved 24 hours notice in Paris, I
wouldn't have gone. I would've not made the

journey. Hi Lia, just so you know, you're
gunna be in a hotel lobby, I'm gunna steal

everything from you, so just watch out. So
does that mean if they report it to the victim

before they're about to do it that it's not
illegal? Coz what's the incentive to say that.

Yeah, so they could be like, he stole my cow.
and He'd be like no I'm not going to prison

coz I wrote you an email yesterday saying
I was gunna do it and you didn't stop it from

happening so.... you'd have to write an email
back saying okay if you're gunna attempt to

do that, just so you know, I'll be standing
by with a gun. No wonder they all want guns

in Texas. I would want one. Where the criminals
are literally saying hey I'm coming, watch

out! The next one is the entire Encyclopedia
Britannica, is banned in Texas because it

contains a formula for making beer at home.
So is it illegal to make beer at home in Texas?

I think it stops them from going out and buying
it. This is just all assumptions. This just

reminds me on The Simpsons where they made
their own beer in a bath tub. And they were

like mixing it. What do they call it? Not
Moonshine, that's something else.... Moonshines

like super strong spirit I believe, then I've
got that completely wrong. Bootleg? Is that

what it is? I dunno but you felt like it dropped
in. I'm just making stuff up. Bootleg in a

bath. So our Encyclopedia, we think that's
our encyclopedia, we're not sure, Britannica,

sounds like us is banned in Texas so, anyone
got one? Do you want us to send you one? We

can send you one. We'll break the law, but
we're not American citizens so we can break

the law. Yeah we'll break some laws for you
and then you guys need to write a letter saying

"Joel & Lia are gunna send me this thing which
is illegal so don't even try" You could do

it orally though so we've done it orally.
We've done an oral... we're about to commit

a crime. Let's stop there. So the next law
is, when two trains meet each other at a railroad

crossing each shall come to a full stop and
neither shall proceed until the other is gone.

That just means no train is gunna go anywhere.
Right, so they get there to where trains cross

and it's breaking the law if one of them goes.
So how do they make the decision? They stop

and get out and have a chat. That's really
backwards, they should just have made an agreement

24 hours before, orally saying like look I'll
go first. But do you know what, I don't wanna

be responsible for any lives so.... don't
take my word for it. How do you think it would

be if we were responsible for laws in Texas?
I think we could make Texas even better than

it is right now. Well what would you do? Well
firstly I'd take away lots of these laws,

we'd be really fun law makers. Oh yeah like
burgers on a sunday only. And then I'd do

some unpopular ones as well because I quite
like to be a bit controversial, so I'd be

like vegetarian Tuesdays where it's illegal
to eat meat on a certain day of the week,

just to reduce everyone's meat consumption.
That's fantastic, saving the planet and saving

Texas. Vote for Joel Wood. Let us know why
you think of my laws. It's illegal to take

more than 3 sips of beer at a time while standing.
It basically means you can't drink at the

bar if you're stood up, like go and find a
seat hun. Coz maybe like once you've had 3

sips of beer, you're gunna get drunk so sit
down. really? Maybe? I mean that would be

the same for us because we're lightweights,
3 sips of beer and we're gone. I'm getting

a bit better, 3 drinks now and I'm gone, whereas
before, 3 sips used to be dangerous. Drink

responsibly. Okay so the last one, is that
it's illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from

the second storey of a hotel. Very specific.
That's so weird, but you can do it from the

first or third, fourth, fifth, but not second.
Where has this come from? Someone must have

done it from the second floor and they went
it is now illegal to shoot buffalo, it should

be illegal to shoot buffalo anyway. Let alone
from a hotel. It's very odd, I'm sure this

is not very regular. Oh definitely because
I know we've got like the policemans hat,

we've got weird laws here which aren't ever
really enforced, but I think these are just

ones that have never been taken out of the
law so technically they still exist. Oh I

love that. I love little things like that.
It's what makes the world go round. Yeah,

really gets us off. We love all this. So if
you enjoyed this video don't forget to subscribe,

we post videos thrice weekly and give the
video a like as well if you enjoyed it, or

a dislike if you hated it. Yeah you are allowed
to use the dislike button it lets us know

what kind of content we should make more of,
and less of, so yeah, you're allowed just

don't do it. And if you're a ghost viewer
please leave a comment yeah we want to meet

new viewers who watch but never comment, so
if you've never commented go down below and

introduce yourself. If it says 'sign in' make
an account. Yeah, but if you're Barbara from

Iowa and you don't know how to write a comment
then sorry, we would teach you but, do you

have grandkids that could teach you? Do you
say Iowa, how do you say it? Did it say it

weird? Yeah, that's gunna be fantastic. I
say Iowa, coz that's how they say it. I know,

when do we ever hear the state Iowa, no only
occasionally on telly, it's not like I'm doing

an Alabama. I deliberately say Alabama instead
of Alabama but I don't deliberately say Iowa.

It was so good. Everyones gunna hate me in
the comments, no it's fine darling, it's okay!

Get over it darling, it gets them commenting.
Yeah it's true. Anyway, hope you enjoyed,

remember to click that notification bell so
you can be notified when we upload videos

and if you'd like to donate to our KoFi page,
you can! You can be a part of this channel,

you can be a founding member of Joel & Lia
coz it's gunna rocket. Yeah and guys, next

stop is 200,000 subscribers! Next stop! That's
insane! That's the next train stop. Crossroads.

Okay, we digress, sorry! Goodbye! Bye Iowa,
toodle-oo Texas! What's your favourite alcohol?

Sambuca. is it? I love it
so much! Loads of people hate it. Yeah I know

whenever I suggest it, people go ew no Tequila,
can we try black sambuca I've heard that that's

really strong? really?
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Dumb Texas Laws! | These are CRAZY!

31 Folder Collection
Michael Cheung published on May 25, 2019
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