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  • Intro Music

  • Hello everyone ...

  • Happiness has become the new 'Enlightenment',

  • the new Heaven,

  • an unattainable goal,

  • a Finish Line that keep receding.

  • When Spiritual Teachers, including myself,

  • emphasize the importance and the value of happiness,

  • something interesting happens -

  • people start to feel as if something has gone wrong

  • if they aren't happy -

  • that only adds unhappiness to Unhappiness.

  • There is a kind of shame that arises within us

  • when we are unhappy.

  • This is especially painful

  • when we identify with being Unhappy.

  • Some of us don't have any idea what Happiness really is

  • because we've never felt it.

  • We feel the very worst about ourselves

  • because we can't seem to get life 'right'

  • and be happy like other people can.

  • We begin to feel like we are karmically destined to suffer.

  • This issue of attaching to Happiness

  • is just a branch off of the tree

  • of trying to get life 'right'.

  • When we feel as if we are happy

  • we feel like we are getting our life right.

  • When we feel like we are unhappy

  • we feel like we are getting our life wrong.

  • So we hold the belief that we *should* be happy

  • even when we aren't happy.

  • That compounds unhappiness - it perpetuates it.

  • When we think that we *should* be happy when we're not happy

  • we start to resist our negative emotions.

  • We feel bad about them.

  • I've said it a million times before, and I'm saying it again:

  • Whatever we resist, persists ...

  • So, in thinking that we should be happy,

  • in pushing against our negative emotions

  • we stay stuck in those negative emotions.

  • When we become resistant to suffering and to our own unhappiness

  • the desire for happiness no longer feels good,

  • it feels desperate

  • because we want something we don't think we can have.

  • We want happiness but we don't think we can have it.

  • So we are focused on suffering and on unhappiness.

  • So what's the best thing we can do?

  • Give up on Happiness ...

  • This may sound odd and like a bit of a contradiction

  • coming from someone like me,

  • who has dedicated their life

  • to teaching people to reach Happiness.

  • But what you find

  • is that these contradictory ideas

  • are, in fact, complementary.

  • If you give up on Happiness

  • you are releasing resistance to suffering

  • and/or unhappiness.

  • Imagine that you lived your life

  • in a continually-flowing gale-force wind -

  • when you are resisting something

  • it's as if you're turned against that air current, face-first.

  • It's hard to breathe,

  • it's hard to move because you're pushing against

  • that strong air current,

  • it's exhausting.

  • When you stop resisting something

  • you allow the gale-force wind to blow you

  • wherever *it* wants to take you.

  • Now imagine that this gale-force wind has one prerogative

  • and that's to take you to everything that you've been asking for,

  • to take you to that which is wanted.

  • Now, do you see the benefit of going with the wind?

  • The Universe *is* this gale-force wind.

  • I'm sure you've all heard of somebody

  • who wanted a promotion for years.

  • They wanted it desperately.

  • They tried everything they could think of to get that promotion.

  • Until, one day, it became so painful to want that promotion

  • that they gave up on it

  • and, instead, they started looking for a new job.

  • And within hours or days, they got that phone call

  • telling them that they got the job.

  • Now, it's tempting to think that is an ironic, cruel joke

  • that's being played by a malevolent Universe.

  • But the reality is,

  • in the moment that the person gave up on that desire

  • they released resistance to what they did not want.

  • And releasing resistance to what you don't want

  • allows you to flow in the direction of what is wanted.

  • You can't cause yourself to un-want something.

  • So the person in this scenario didn't not-want the promotion,

  • (you can't un-want something you want)

  • so, even though they still had that desire,

  • giving up on getting it

  • allowed them to release enough resistance

  • that they got it.

  • The Universe already knows you want to be happy.

  • That is the only thing you really ever wanted anyway.

  • Everything else - that promotion,

  • that boyfriend or girlfriend,

  • that house, that car -

  • is just a means to that end,

  • which is Happiness ...

  • Not only does the Universe know that you want happiness,

  • the Universe is calling you towards it,

  • pushing you towards it ...

  • It is arranging all necessary conditions for your happiness.

  • The only way the Universe

  • can achieve more Expansion through *your* perspective

  • is if you manage to align-with and experience your own desires.

  • So, believe me,

  • the Universe will facilitate your happiness

  • every step of the way.

  • So what happens if you let yourself

  • release resistance to being unhappy?

  • What happens if you let yourself go with the wind?

  • You allow yourself to flow in the direction of what you want -

  • which is Happiness.

  • Think of this like a back-door entry to Happiness.

  • All of the various beliefs that perpetuate unhappiness

  • like they were karmically destined to suffer -

  • they turn us against that gale-force wind that is the Universe.

  • They make it so that we are in a state of resistance.

  • But sometimes,

  • the state of resistance

  • that is the most painful and does the most damage to us

  • is our desperate quest for happiness.

  • When we become desperate for something

  • that's because we have an acute awareness

  • of the absence of that thing in our life.

  • That's why the feeling of Need has been identified

  • as a feeling which comes from a space of Lack.

  • That means that you are focused on the absence

  • of whatever it is that you want

  • and you can't be focused on the lack or absence of something

  • and get what you want, at the same time -

  • it's a Vibrational contradiction.

  • Sometimes our awareness of our unhappiness,

  • and desperate desire for happiness,

  • is so strong

  • that the path of least resistance

  • is to release our attachment to Happiness altogether.

  • When Happiness ceases to be our goal

  • where we are cannot be wrong or lacking in any way

  • because you cannot compare your 'now'

  • to your imagined future happiness.

  • You cannot feel bad because you aren't there yet,

  • when there isn't anywhere to get to.

  • You cannot cause yourself to not-want Happiness

  • because you cannot cause yourself to un-want

  • something that you want.

  • But you can change your focus

  • so that you're not focusing on the Now

  • as if the Now is unwanted.

  • The best way to let go of the destination we call Happiness

  • is to fall in-love with what-Is - fall in-love with the Now.

  • The only reason that any Being suffers

  • is because they are currently believing a thought

  • that contradicts what-Is.

  • The 'should' thoughts are the best example of this.

  • If I am thinking 'I should be happy' and I'm not -

  • I'm believing a thought that contradicts what-Is.

  • I'm in resistance to Me in my current state.

  • Our stress in life is caused by arguing with what-Is.

  • Embrace the idea that what happened

  • *should* have happened and was supposed to happen.

  • Embrace the idea that nothing can go wrong -

  • that everything that happens to us

  • is actually happening *for* us.

  • The reality is, no one wants to lose their job

  • or have an argument with a loved-one

  • or get into an accident ...

  • But when we don't have complete control over our Vibrations,

  • and thus, our Point-of-Attraction, these things happen.

  • None of us maintains our Vibration at a level

  • where nothing ever happens to cause us

  • to feel negative emotion.

  • And so, it isn't helpful to mentally argue

  • with the things that happened

  • by thinking 'That *shouldn't* have happened',

  • or 'I *should* be happy right now, even though '

  • 'this is happening to me'.

  • It is much better to begin switching your focus

  • to embrace what is right-here and now.

  • Besides, if none of us are able to maintain a state

  • where nothing ever happens to cause us to feel negative emotion,

  • maybe we're *not meant* to maintain a Vibrational state

  • where nothing happens to ever cause us to feel negative emotion.

  • Focus at what-Is with the Intention

  • of looking for what is right about it.

  • What is right about what-Is?

  • We want to focus for the positives

  • inherent within the unwanted things.

  • This does not only allow us to release resistance

  • and thus, feel emotionally better,

  • it also makes it so we're changing

  • our Vibrational Point-of-Attraction

  • so we can't be a match to the unwanted thing anymore.

  • I'll give you an example:

  • One day, I was on my way to a date I'd been looking forward to

  • for weeks.

  • I was super-excited ...

  • And, of course,

  • I'm the kind of person who tends to feel

  • as if I don't deserve things to go well.

  • So when I was on my way, my car broke down ...

  • After my car broke down,

  • I was sitting there

  • (after two men pushed my car to the side of the road)

  • thinking 'This shouldn't be happening',

  • 'Why is this happening to me?',

  • 'The Universe seriously *is* out to get me'.

  • I was spiraling with that kind of thought process.

  • I realized that it wasn't going to get me anywhere

  • (because I already understand the Law of Attraction)

  • so I pulled out my Positive Aspects journal.

  • I sat down,

  • I started listing all of the Positives that I could think

  • about that particular situation I found myself in.

  • So, on the top of the page, I wrote down

  • 'My Car Broke Down.'

  • I made myself write a list of Positive Aspects

  • about the car breaking down.

  • I tried to look for proof that the car breaking down

  • was right instead of wrong.

  • For example:

  • - I broke down right next to the pull-off

  • on the side of the road ...

  • - the model of car I'm driving is simple to fix ...

  • - the electricity in the car still works,

  • so I'm listening to good music ...

  • - there are tons of people willing to help, in the city ...

  • - this is an opportunity to practice being flexible ...

  • - I'm happy that I'm focusing positively

  • instead of negatively, right now ...

  • - I have no way of knowing that the date would be enjoyable

  • or in Alignment with my highest good ...

  • - the leaves are blowing around on the street,

  • and they are artistically beautiful ... etc.

  • I felt my mood lift.

  • I felt relief.

  • I was no longer in resistance

  • to the fact that my car broke down.

  • And you know what happens when you release resistance

  • to your car being broken down?

  • My car restarted - as the tow-truck was on its way to me -

  • it started as if nothing had ever happened.

  • We can take this one step further

  • when we have developed resistance to being unhappy

  • because we want happiness so badly,

  • by looking for positives about being unhappy.

  • Find approval for Unhappiness.

  • Start to look at being unhappy as if something has gone right.

  • How is it 'right' for me to be unhappy?

  • I'll give you some examples:

  • - I suffered a big disappointment,

  • anyone in my position would feel this way or worse.

  • - Being unhappy causes me to know strongly what I don't want

  • and thus, strongly, what I *do* want.

  • Strong Desires = Big Expansion.

  • - It gives me clarity on my preferences.

  • - I am facilitating Universal Expansion

  • by allowing the Universe to know through my eyes

  • what It Is-Not.

  • - If we only experience happiness,

  • we don't know what Happiness is.

  • - Experiencing unhappiness leads us to self-exploration

  • and self-discovery and introspection.

  • It facilitates self-awareness.

  • - Being unhappy helps me to relate

  • to other people that are unhappy.

  • It can bring people together

  • so there is an opportunity for collective healing.

  • - It makes for some really poignant art.

  • - Unhappiness is very grounding

  • and it puts into perspective what really matters.

  • - Being unhappy makes you so uncomfortable

  • that it forces you to have to forward

  • and to get unstuck in one way or another.

  • Another thing we can do to let go of Happiness

  • so as to get happiness,

  • is to set a more attainable goal than Happiness.

  • To most of us, happiness seems so far outside of our reach

  • we don't believe it's attainable.

  • And because of that belief, it *isn't* attainable.

  • So what we need to do,

  • is to find something which seems more attainable,

  • that is on-the-way to Happiness,

  • but is not all-the-way there.

  • It is up to you to decide

  • what feels like an attainable desire for you.

  • One example of a more attainable desire is:

  • Three Moments of Contentment per Day.

  • Another example of a more attainable desire is:

  • A Feeling of Fulfillment at least One Time each Day.

  • Once you set your attainable goal

  • you can facilitate it on a daily basis.

  • You will find that reaching this particular goal

  • is a lot easier than trying to strive for Happiness.

  • To most of us,

  • trying to reach for Happiness

  • is like trying to jump from here to the Moon,

  • as opposed to jumping a ditch.

  • So, what you want to do,

  • is set little goals, 'little ditches' on the way to the Moon,

  • instead of forcing yourself to jump all that way,

  • because when you're looking at the distance

  • between where you are and where you want to be

  • (when where you want to be is Happiness)

  • you will become completely discouraged -

  • as opposed to looking at where you are

  • and where you want to be,

  • when where you want to be seems like

  • it's an attainable place to be.

  • Another way of letting go of Happiness

  • is to realize that Happiness for you is a goal.

  • Because of this, it is like a receding Finish Line

  • or a Horizon Line that you will never cross.

  • The closer you move to what you think Happiness is,

  • the further it goes off into the distance.

  • When Happiness is about attaining your desires

  • (and your desires will never cease Expanding)

  • you will never truly achieve happiness.

  • Sometimes, realizing that you will never achieve

  • the goal of Happiness

  • helps you to stop chasing it in the distance

  • and find a contentment with where you are.

  • Contentment does not mean resignation.

  • It doesn't make you lazy or passive or apathetic.

  • Doing this just helps you to be able to enjoy

  • the process of Life instead of obsessively chase

  • the promise of future happiness.

  • When you are stuck in negative emotions,

  • you do not have access to pure, positive emotional states.

  • In fact, all focus on pure, positive, emotional states

  • like Happiness does,

  • is to allow you to feel where you *aren't*.

  • To allow you to feel how happy you *aren't*.

  • It increases the gap

  • between where you are and where you want to be.

  • Which is why, sometimes,

  • the best way to let go of Happiness

  • is to stop focusing on Happiness

  • and start focusing on Relief instead.

  • No matter where you are, Vibrationally and emotionally,

  • you always have access to the feeling of Relief.

  • And Relief is the by-product of Release.

  • Release causes Relief.

  • When you are feeling guilty,

  • thinking a thought which is an Angry-feeling thought

  • causes you to feel relief

  • because that thought causes you to

  • release your attachment to guilt.

  • That release of guilt

  • causes you to feel the relief

  • of moving into the emotional space of Anger.

  • So it's the release of a negative emotional state

  • that causes the sensation of relief

  • when you're going in the direction

  • of a positive emotional state.

  • You're allowing yourself to flow

  • in the direction that that gale-force wind

  • wants to push you.

  • I want to repeat this, cause it's so important:

  • Any release of a lower Vibration

  • and movement into a higher Vibration

  • will feel emotionally like relief -

  • so chase Relief instead of Happiness.

  • Perhaps the best way to do this

  • is to become aware of the only choice that exists for you

  • in the present moment.

  • At all moments of the day, you have one option:

  • 'Better or Worse?'

  • The thought - 'Which feels better or worse?' ...

  • The words - 'Which feel better or worse?' ...

  • The actions - 'Which feel better or worse?' ...

  • If you are able to live your day,

  • thought by thought, word by word, action by action,

  • in the direction of what feels *better*,

  • then you are flowing with the current of the Universe,

  • in the direction of what is wanted

  • (and what is wanted is happiness)

  • so you're allowing yourself to flow

  • in the direction of Happiness.

  • Choosing what feels better will feel like relief.

  • Choosing what feels worse will feel like stress.

  • So, live your life,

  • not according to happiness

  • but according to what feels *better*.

  • Thoughts are what cause us to feel unhappy.

  • And a thought is powerless and painless until we believe it.

  • Have mercy for your thoughts - meet them with understanding.

  • They are not out to get you,

  • they are not hell-bent on hurting you.

  • If you can stop believing the thoughts you think,

  • if you can withhold your commitment

  • to whether they are true or not,

  • they have no power over the way you feel.

  • You are not your suffering,

  • you are not your story,

  • you are not even your identity.

  • Nothing has gone 'wrong' if you are suffering.

  • If you're suffering or feeling something which is unwanted,

  • you are exploring the conditions necessary for you

  • to know what *is* wanted.

  • All you need to do to go in the direction of what is wanted

  • is to allow yourself to choose to go in the direction

  • of what feels emotionally better.

  • Our attachment to Happiness,

  • and our striving towards happiness

  • is what causes us to resist unhappiness,

  • and thus, perpetuate it, in our own lives.

  • So, here I am today, telling you -

  • If you wanna be happy, release your attachment to Happiness.

  • Stop making Happiness your ultimate goal.

  • It already is the reason you do everything that you do,

  • and the Universe knows that.

  • So, we have to get to a space (if we want to be happy)

  • where we understand that happiness is not something out there

  • which you attain,

  • Happiness is an ever-present essence

  • which must, instead, be Allowed ...

  • Have a good week ...

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