Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Over the weekend on Saturday,

  • minding my own business,

  • and I get kind of a threatening video email

  • sent to me by a Mr. Hugh Jackman.

  • Conan, I know you're doing a lot of shows

  • traveling around the world.

  • Lots of them.

  • You've been everywhere around the world, except Australia.

  • It's almost like you going out of your way

  • not to go to Australia.

  • 'Cause we're mates, I just wanted you

  • to know that it's been noticed.

  • First of all, I didn't know Hugh Jackman was in prison.

  • And I looked into it.

  • There's an old rule in show business.

  • When Hugh Jackman tells you to do something, you do it.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to Australia.

  • I arrived in Sydney, Australia.

  • And even though they speak English here,

  • I still had to learn the language.

  • I'm sitting here with Gabrielle,

  • a voice and dialect coach. Correct.

  • I would like to be able to speak like an Australian,

  • an authentic Australian.

  • I do dialects very well.

  • Scottish? There's a Loch Ness monster.

  • Yeah.

  • No, that was very good.

  • Could you do British?

  • Could I be British? Oh.

  • It's the posh, posh traveling life

  • The traveling life for me

  • First cabin, captain's quarters, regal company

  • Port out, starboard home

  • Posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh

  • Oh, you're very good.

  • The Australian accent all happens back here.

  • You've got to hook it into your jaw cavity.

  • Oh. So rather than forward here,

  • stick it back there. Yeah.

  • But as an Australian-- How 'bout that?

  • Yeah.

  • I got that part that. Yeah, that's good and nasal.

  • Yeah.

  • And if you're saying yes to something,

  • it's also really good to go yeah, nah, nah.

  • Yeah, nah. Yeah.

  • That's nice. Offer me some fruit.

  • Would you like some fruit? Yeah, nah.

  • No?

  • All right. Nah.

  • Yeah, I'll just put it down.

  • But I did want the fruit.

  • That's another thing I've noticed with Australians.

  • Yeah?

  • They turn everything into a nickname.

  • Yes.

  • Did you have your brekkie? Did I have my brekkie?

  • Oh, that's breakfast. That's breakfast.

  • Yeah, you can have a smashed avo on toast for brekkie.

  • I had smashed avo on toast for brekkie.

  • Yeah, it's lacking a little subtlety,

  • but the sounds are good.

  • I can get subtlety.

  • Barbecue. Barbecue.

  • We say barbie. Oh, right, barbie.

  • That's the one everyone knows.

  • Shrimp on the barbie. No, we don't say shrimp.

  • What do you say? Prawns.

  • Well, wait a minute!

  • There was a whole commercial for years.

  • I know, I know.

  • I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie.

  • You don't say shrimp? No one says shrimp.

  • They made fools out of us.

  • It's an act of war.

  • It's a big drinking culture here.

  • We know it is, yeah. Foster's Lager.

  • Foster's Australian for beer.

  • Nobody drinks Foster's. They don't?

  • Most bars won't even sell it.

  • Is that true? Yeah.

  • Again!

  • I feel like I'm being scammed.

  • My whole life I've thought the first thing

  • you get to Australia, you have a shrimp

  • on the barbie with a Foster's Lager.

  • And then you go to Outback Steakhouse

  • and you talk to Rupert Murdoch about a kangaroo.

  • Another thing is that we say how good is something?

  • But it's a rhetorical question.

  • How good is this weather? How good is this weather?

  • Further back. How good is this weather?

  • Yeah, that's it.

  • So it's like a series of mild strokes

  • that have occluded the back part of my face.

  • That's right, because--

  • How good is this weather?

  • Yeah, clench your jaw. How good is weather?

  • There's a 'roo!

  • There's a 'roo?

  • And if someone's a bit daft,

  • you can say that there are

  • a few roos loose in the top paddock.

  • Ah, a few roos loose in the top paddock.

  • Yes.

  • There's a few roos loose in the top paddock

  • You're really taking on that anesthetized--

  • I'm trying to just kill this part of my face.

  • Okay, you start saying things

  • and I'll repeat them immediately,

  • and that's how we'll do it.

  • Let's go.

  • Oh, how good is this weather?

  • How good is this weather?

  • Bloody beautiful. Bloody beautiful.

  • Do you want a drink? I want a drink all the time,

  • but not Foster's Lager.

  • You're doing really well.

  • How do you say I'm asexual?

  • I'm, so I'm, nice and nasal.

  • I'm. I'm asexual.

  • I'm asexual.

  • Shake it out a bit.

  • Yeah, shake it out.

  • I'm asexual.

  • Yeah, that's great. I'm asexual.

  • Yeah, I think you are now.

  • Yeah.

  • I'm just loosening it up. It's working.

  • Oh, hello is g'day. Yeah, that's perfect.

  • That's easy. Friend, mate.

  • He's my mate. G'day, mate.

  • A woman, Sheila.

  • Top Sheila. Top Sheila.

  • Top Sheila. Ah, top Sheila.

  • Shitter.

  • Some people do call it that.

  • Ah, he's out in the shitter.

  • What do you call having a heart attack?

  • Having a heart attack. Okay.

  • That's stuff you don't wanna screw around with.

  • You don't wanna mess with that.

  • Oh, got a tacky-wacky.

  • You know this band, right? Everyone knows AC/DC.

  • Right? Yeah.

  • What do we call 'em? You call 'em Aisy-Daisy.

  • You call 'em-- This is fun to watch.

  • A-Z...

  • Accadacca?

  • 100%. But AC/DC's easier.

  • Accadacca. They were born here.

  • We get to call 'em what we want.

  • Speedos? Yeah.

  • Those are called wanko-wallies.

  • So close.

  • It's a wanker-hammock.

  • Budgie smugglers. That's a budgie smuggler.

  • You know what a budgie is?

  • It's a kind of a bird.

  • So men's junk in a speedo to Australians

  • looks like a bunch of birds shoved in--

  • Just one. Just one?

  • Yeah. Not in this case.

  • If something is--

  • I'm still looking at the camera.

  • Hold on.

  • Hold.

  • That's enough.

  • Nerd or geek? This one's big.

  • Aye, he's a weebler. Weebler?

  • He's a weebler. You're a dag.

  • Aw, he's a dag.

  • Do you know what a dag is?

  • It's the bit of poo that is on the back

  • of the sheep's butt before it gets shorn.

  • And that's your word for people

  • that like books and study and use computers,

  • and actually better mankind?

  • This one's good.