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  • - When I say the word success what do you envision?

  • Is it having a nice car, is it having a nice family

  • or is it simply just having a career that you love?

  • I'm gonna share with you two different stories

  • of two different men and I want your opinion

  • on who you think lived a more successful life.

  • This is Ben and Ben had a really rough childhood.

  • He grew up very poor,

  • his parents were not exactly very loving.

  • Instead of helping him with his homework

  • or making him dinner or taking any interest in him at all

  • they would go to the local bar and drink.

  • And this was really difficult for Ben to deal with.

  • He would often sit alone in his room

  • and he would ask himself,

  • why don't they want to spend time with me,

  • what did I do wrong, could I be better?

  • But Ben never got an answer.

  • The way Ben coped with his childhood

  • was by reading books.

  • Everyday after school he would just

  • go to this local library and read.

  • See, books were a way for him to escape,

  • he didn't have to think about his parents

  • and he could just forget about his sadness

  • and just lost in his stories.

  • Over time Ben eventually became very fascinated

  • with Greek history and he would read about

  • great Greek heroes like Alexander the Great

  • and how they possessed all these traits of

  • courage, bravery, and power.

  • And sometimes he would even imagine himself

  • being this rich, Greek, conqueror

  • where he had the freedom and power

  • to do whatever he wanted.

  • And he could help as many people as he wanted.

  • It was through reading these books when Ben decided

  • that he wanted a better life for himself.

  • He wanted to become a modern day conqueror.

  • Fast forward to high school

  • and Ben was working extremely hard.

  • He only had one goal on his mind at this time

  • at that was to get a full ride scholarship

  • to a local college.

  • And through hard work he actually did it.

  • And he decided to pursue law.

  • After college Ben went on to become a fierce lawyer,

  • his work ethic was unmatched,

  • his intensity was admired and feared by his competition.

  • Ben was becoming unstoppable.

  • And over the next few years he had become

  • one of the top paid lawyers in the state.

  • All of this achievement and quote unquote success

  • did come at a cost.

  • Ben didn't have time to go outside and socialize,

  • he didn't have time for hobbies or vacations

  • and he certainly did not have time to settle down

  • and find a loving partner.

  • His work had completely consumed him

  • but this is the price that everybody has to pay

  • if they want to become a modern day conqueror.

  • And also, if Ben was being totally honest with himself

  • he didn't exactly love practicing law.

  • It's not like he woke up in the morning

  • and was super excited to work

  • and to spend hours and hours researching every single case.

  • Because he was so busy he never actually asked himself,

  • what do I actually enjoy doing?

  • What would I do if I had $20 million in my bank account?

  • How would I spend my time?

  • But this work is what allowed him to live in a nice house,

  • to drive a nice car and to eat at nice restaurants.

  • But most importantly it's what allowed him

  • to be financially free

  • which is something that he always wanted since he was a kid.

  • This is Jeff.

  • And Jeff was born into a middle-class family.

  • His childhood was pretty average,

  • no major traumas, he played some sports

  • and he had a very nice family.

  • And he did okay in school.

  • From a very young age, Jeff's parents told him,

  • Jeff, do whatever makes you happy.

  • And that's exactly what he did.

  • Fast forward to high school

  • and Jeff was doing just enough to get by.

  • He didn't have big college dreams

  • or dreams of conquering the world.

  • He spent most of his time just doing what he liked

  • which was playing the guitar

  • or hanging out with his friends.

  • Jeff did really enjoy helping people though.

  • And he even started to volunteer

  • at the local homeless shelter a couple times per week.

  • And doing this gave him a lot of joy and happiness.

  • Jeff did apply to a few colleges in his area

  • and eventually one accepted him.

  • But he had no idea what he wanted to major in.

  • And after a few years

  • of kind of floating around and taking it easy,

  • he decided to major in creative writing.

  • Because english was the only academic class

  • that he actually enjoyed.

  • After college, Jeff decided to start a blog about music

  • where he would interview local musicians in the area

  • about how they got started,

  • about what their future plans were.

  • And again, he did this because he loved music

  • and he loved helping other people succeed.

  • And over time,

  • Jeff built up a small but loyal fan base online

  • and he truly loved what he did.

  • It was combining his two passions, writing and music.

  • However, this job did not exactly pay that well,

  • he wasn't driving around in nice cars

  • or going to nice restaurants

  • and he could only afford a very basic apartment.

  • He was making just enough money to get by

  • while saving only a little bit every single month.

  • What Jeff did have was time.

  • He had time to make friends,

  • he had time to go out

  • and make great memories with these friends

  • and he even had time to meet a great girlfriend.

  • Jeff was the type of guy who didn't take life too seriously.

  • So I bet most of you guys have an idea in your head

  • about who was more successful.

  • But before you tell me your opinion,

  • let me quickly tell you mine.

  • Everyone has a different vision

  • of what success look likes.

  • And the interesting thing about success

  • is that everyone thinks their vision of success

  • is the correct one

  • and that everyone else's vision is wrong.

  • In my personal opinion, I think all this great.

  • I think wanting money is good,

  • I think wanting a loving family is great

  • but the problem arises when we start saying

  • our vision of success is the right one

  • and your vision of success is the wrong one.

  • And the reason why most people tend to do this

  • is because when he hear about

  • another person's vision of success

  • that contradicts our vision or it contradicts the way

  • that we've already been living our life

  • we get really defensive

  • and we will start to exaggerate all the positives

  • about our lifestyle

  • and we really play down all the negatives.

  • If your parents spent their whole lives

  • focusing on stability and money

  • they are way more likely to tell you

  • that that's the proper way to live life

  • and they will highlight all the positives.

  • Similar to how if your parents focused on fun and joy

  • they are much more likely to encourage you to do that.

  • The main point here is that the only person

  • who knows what a successful life looks like for you is you.

  • You can and should listen to other people's perspectives

  • but just remember,

  • part of the reason why they're telling you

  • about how good their lifestyle is

  • is because it makes them feel good

  • about their own life choices.

  • Never, ever let someone else tell you

  • how you should live your life.

  • Because it's not their life, it's your life.

  • So coming back to Ben versus Jeff,

  • I don't know who lived the more successful life.

  • You could make great, logical, rational,

  • amazing arguments for both sides.

  • The only people who know for certain

  • if they are successful is Ben and Jeff.

  • And they only way they can figure this out

  • and they only way that all of us can figure this out

  • is to become self-aware and understand

  • what success really means to us.

- When I say the word success what do you envision?

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