Name: 【TED】Dan Clay: Why you should bring your whole self to work (Why you should bring your whole self to work | The Way We Work, a TED series)
Uploaded: 2019-02-09T15:01:25.000Z
Duration: 4 min 38 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

A leader is steady, firm, decisive, unwavering.

Adverbs of frequency

Never let 'em see you sweat, always have an answer.

My name is Dan, I'm a partner at a global creative consultancy.

As I thought about my double life, I couldn't help but wonder ...

When your true self is a little nontraditional,

how much of it can you really bring to the office?

For some of us is authenticity off-limits?

I thought there was one way to be a leader:

So I'd put on basically office drag to fit the role:

I'd talk in a deeper voice, try to hold in my hand motions.

I'm someone who gets really excited about things,

I had this little voice in my head, telling me,

"You're too gay, too feminine, too flamboyant."

I had one well-intentioned adviser who said,

"Everyone knows you're gay. And that's great.

But you don't need to beat them over the head with it."

Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.

I dressed up as my favorite TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,

thinking my friends would get a kick out of it.

The post went viral, and at first it was pure fun.

I started getting these incredible messages from people

how it encouraged them to be their authentic selves.

maybe this is the time to tell that little voice in my head to just shut up

Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere -- In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --

Would my coworkers still respect me as a leader?

I thought I was going to have to get a different job.

But then, something happened, something small.

I got a text from my boss, it wasn't long, it just said,

With a link to an article that had just gone up about me.

And it let me put that little, scared voice away

and just be excited about this whole new world,

sometimes all it takes is one ally to make you feel comfortable.

And my coworkers started acting differently.

They became more open, more playful with me,

it was as if knowing this other side of me

gave them permission to be more of themselves as well.

I thought that openness and vulnerability

would actually decrease my standing with my team.

I never could have imagined that this part of me would not just be embraced,

and I was already pretty established in my career when all of this started.

about just the importance of bringing your whole self to work.

And it's really challenged my own misperceptions

There's no one kind of way to be a leader.

It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them.

Before, if a meeting was hard, I'd put on my perfect leader mask.

Now, I can say, "Gosh, that was frustrating."

We can talk about challenges and struggles in an open way,

rather than everybody pretending that they're fine until it's too late.

Think of all the wasted energy spent pretending,

What's most interesting to me, though, is that in this big study of covering,

93 percent of those who say they're doing it

also believe their organization values inclusion.

So clearly, our workplaces and all of our strange inner voices

There's a big difference between adapting and disguising.

And I think I learned that a little late.

Personally, I'm taking all of this as a call to be the ally

lets people know that it's OK to open up.

If you're gay, or proud of your ethnic background,

or have a disability or are deeply religious,

see what it's like being your full self at work.