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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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♪
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>>> AH, ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY
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HERE ON MT. RUSHMORE.
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LET'S DO OUR PRESIDENTIAL ROLL
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CALL, SHALL WE?
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WASHINGTON?
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>> HERE!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> JEFFERSON?
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>> PRESENT.
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> ROOSEVELT.
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>> BUT I -- EPH -- WHAT IS THAT
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INFERNAL RACKET?
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>> THEY'RE ADDING ANOTHER HEAD
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TO MT. RUSHMORE.
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>> WHO COULD IT SOMEBODY.
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>> WATCH IT JOSE, THAT HAIR THE
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MADE OF 24-KARAT GOLD.
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I HAD TO MELT DOWN ALL MY
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TOILETS TO LIVE THAT.
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>> WELCOME, NEWCOMER.
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AND WHO MIGHT YOU SOMEBODY.
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>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?
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I'M THE 45th AND BEST PRESIDENT
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OF THE UNITED STATES, DONALD
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JESUS TRUMP.
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>> A NEW PRESIDENT, WELL, LET ME
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BE THE FIRST TO SAY, SOUTH
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DAKOTA IS HONORED TO HAVE YOU.
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>> I LOVE THE DAKOTAS.
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SOUTH DAKOTA, EAST DAKOTA,
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DAKOTA JOHNSON, DAKOTA FANNING.
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I KNOW THEM WELL, FANTASTIC
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PEOPLE, SO GREAT.
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>> WELL, IF YOU'VE BEEN ADDED TO
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MT. RUSHMORE YOU ENOUGH
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ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING AMAZING
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DURING YOUR PRESIDENCY R. FOR
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INSTANCE, I GAVE THE GETTYSBURG
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ADDRESS.
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FOURSCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO --
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>> BIG DEAL.
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I SCORE ALL THE TIME.
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>> HM.
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WELL, I ALSO ENDED SLAVERY.
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>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.
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I'VE BEEN MAKING A BUNCH OF
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FEDERAL EMPLOYEES WORK FOR FREE
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FOR 31 DAYS.
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>> OH.
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>> WELL, IN MY PRESIDENCY WE
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FINISHED THE PANAMA CANAL.
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PANAMA!
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>> GREAT SONG, FILTHY PLACE.
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AND WHO CARES ABOUT A FRICKIN'
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CANAL?
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I BUILD GOLDEN TOWERS WITH MY
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NAME ON THEM.
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AND WE HAVE TACO BOWLS.
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>> WELL, I WROTE THE DECLARATION
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OF INDEPENDENCE.
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>> NEVER HEARD OF HER.
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>> I WAS AMERICA'S FIRST
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PRESIDENT.
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THAT'S WHY I'M ON THE ONE DOLLAR
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BILL.
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>> YOU MEAN THAT MONEY POOR
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PEOPLE USE AT STRIP CLUBS?
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WOW, I'M SO IMPRESSED.
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LISTEN, LOSERS.
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THIS PLACE SUCKS.
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SO I'M GOING TO TAKE IT FROM
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DUMP TO TRUMP.
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>> WHAT EVER DO YOU MEAN?
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>> FIRST OF ALL, GOOFY GEORGE,
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I'M MAKING THAT OLD WIG YOU WEAR
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AN OIL RIG, YOU LIKE IT?
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>> NO, I CANNOT TELL A LIE.
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>> I DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM.
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TINY TOMMY, TINY TOMMY, THE
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DIRTY NOSE OF YOURS IS NOW A BIG
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BEAUTIFUL WATER SLIDE.
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>> THIS IS HIGHLY UNORTHODOX!
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>> WOE, MM, DADDY LIKEE!
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AND YOU, FATTY BOOM BOOM?
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>> THEODORE ROOSEVELT!
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>> WHATEVER.
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I MADE YOUR MOUSTACHE A LANDING
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PAD FOR THE SPACE FORCE.
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>> OH, OH, IT TICKLES!
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I HATE IT.
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>> AND I HAVE A SPECIAL SURPRISE
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FOR YOU, HONEST ABE-HOLE.
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>> FORE!
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>> WHAT WAS THAT?
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>> A GOLF BALL.
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THIS WHOLE PLACE IS NOW A TRUMP
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LUXURY GOLF COURSE AND YOU ARE 4
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UNDER PAR, KIM JONG.
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LOOK AT HIS LITTLE ROCKET DANCE,
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IT'S SO ADORABLE, I LOVE YOU.
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>> PRESIDENT TRUMP, WITH ALL DUE
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RESPECT, MT. RUSHMORE HONORS THE
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UNITED STATES PRESIDENCY, AN
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OFFICE OF COURAGE AND COMPASSION
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FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS.
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TO DESECRATE IT IN THIS WAY
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WOULD BE A SLAP IN THE FACE TO
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BOTH DEMOCRACY AND THE PROUDNESS
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OF AMERICA ITSELF!
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>> I'M SORRY, WERE YOU TALKING?
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I WAS TWEETING THAT THE DALAI
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LAMA LOOKS LIKE A POTATO.
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>> MR. TRUMP, WE'RE GOING TO
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HAVE TO ASK THAT YOU LEAVE
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MT. RUSHMORE THIS INSTANT!
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>> WELL, YOU CAN'T.
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BECAUSE IT'S NO LONGER CALLED
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MT. RUSHMORE.
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IT'S CALLED MT. RUSSIA.
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MT. RUSSIA!
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THAT'S WHAT THOSE HOOKERS IN THE
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HOTEL LET ME DO.
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>> FORE!
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>> MY GOODNESS. 128 00:04:29,636 --> 00:00:00,000 >> WOW, NICE SHOT, O.J.