B1 Intermediate US 34 Folder Collection
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WE WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON
THAT PROGRAM.
LAST NIGHT AT THE TWO-YEAR MARK
OF THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY, WE PUT
ON A HALF-TIME SHOW.
THE FAILING "NEW YORK TIMES" PUT
US IN THEIR BEST OF LATE NIGHT
COLUMN.
JIMMY KIMMEL CELEBRATING THE
MIDWAY POINT.
AND "DEADLINE HOLLYWOOD".
WE EVEN GOT A SHOUT OUT FROM FOX
NEWS.
JIMMY KIMMEL DEPICTS TRUMP'S
FATHER IN HELL, MOCKS KELLYANNE
CONWAY'S SEX LIFE.
IT'S ANOTHER BIGLY DAY FOR
DONALD.
IT IS THE 14th WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY.
MELANIA SPENT THE DAY BINGE
WATCHING "ESCAPE FROM ANNAMORA".
AND A MARIS POLL SHOWING HIS
APPROVAL RATE BEING AMONG
LATINOS GOING UP.
MELANIA DID TWEET ABOUT HIM.
YOU'LL SEE THE TRUMPS HAVE
APPARENTLY BEEN SHRINKING SINCE
HE TOOK OFFICE, AND THEY CAN NOW
BOTH FIT COMFORTABLY ON A
PRESIDEN
PRESIDENTIAL COASTER, THE
TRADITIONAL GIFT FOR A 14th
ANNIVERSARY, YOU KNOW WHAT IT
IS?
IT'S IVORY.
SO TRUMP SENT HIS DUMB SONS TO
KILL AN ELEPHANT FOR LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
IF MELANIA CAN TAKE 14 YEARS OF
HIM, WE CAN STICK IT OUT FOR
ANOTHER TWO, RIGHT?
TODAY WAS THE 32nd DAY OF THIS
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN.
ALMOST 800,000 FEDERAL WORKERS
HAVEN'T BEEN PAID FOR A MONTH OF
WORK.
SO WE'VE BEEN GIVING JOBS TO
SOME OF THOSE UNPAID FEDERAL
EMPLOYEES.
SO FAR WE'VE HIRED TEN OF THEM
TO WORK AT THE SHOW.
WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF JOBS,
TONIGHT WE'RE JOINED BY NUMBER
11, JAMIE RODNEY.
HI, JAMIE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> I'M SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR JOB?
TELL US WHAT YOUR JOB TITLE IS.
>> I'M A FEDERAL INVESTIGATOR
WITH THE UNITED STATES
DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN
DEVELOPMENT.
>> Jimmy: DOES THAT MEAN YOU
ARREST PEOPLE?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DO YOU DO
SPECIFICALLY?
>> I INVESTIGATE COMPLAINTS OF
DISCRIMINATION ON THE BASE OF
RACE, NATIONAL ORIGIN, COLOR,
SEX AND DISABILITY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GREAT.
SO THAT'S A GOOD THING THAT YOU
DO.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: WHO IS DOING THAT
WHILE THE GOVERNMENT IS SHUT
DOWN?
>> NOBODY.
>> Jimmy: SO PEOPLE ARE FREE TO
DISCRIMINATE AS THEY PLEASE.
>> THEY SHOULDN'T, BECAUSE WE
CAN GO AFTER THEM AFTERWARD.
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN GO AFTER THEM.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IN THE MEANTIME, THERE
ARE PEOPLE LOOKING FOR A PLACE
TO LIVE.
>> RIGHT.
WE COMBAT BASIS IN SEGREGATION
AND HOMELESSNESS.
>> Jimmy: WHICH IS A BIG PROBLEM
HERE IN LOS ANGELES.
AND WHAT ABOUT THIS PERSONALLY
HAS AFFECTED YOU AND YOUR
FAMILY?
>> MY FAMILY AND I SPENT EVERY
PENNY WE HAD IN SAVINGS TO
PURCHASE OUR FIRST HOME.
SO NOW WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO
PAY OUR MORTGAGE OR TO PAY FOR
OUR SON'S PRESCHOOL OR OUR
GROCERIES OR ELECTRICITY OR
PHONE BILLS OR CAR BILLS OR ALL
OF OUR BILLS.
SO.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S AWFUL.
>> IT'S AWFUL.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE NICE HAIR, SO
HERE'S WHAT WE WERE THINKING.
CAN I HAVE THE HAIRBRUSH?
NATHAN FILLION IS OUR GUEST
TONIGHT.
NATHAN FILLION HAS A BEAUTIFUL
HEAD OF HAIR.
IF YOU COULD BE SO KIND TO DO
HIS HAIR TONIGHT.
>> THAT WOULD BE SO EXCITING.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: HE'S LIKE A CANADIAN
NATIONAL TREASURE.
>> I AGREE.
>> Jimmy: OUR FEDERAL WORKER OF
THE NIGHT.
[ APPLAUSE ]
GUILLERMO, TAKE IT EASY OVER
THERE, WILL YOU?
MEANWHILE, SPEAKING OF HAIR,
REMEMBER BERNIE SANDERS?
I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE GOING TO
START SEEING A LOT OF BIRERNIE
AGAIN.
HE SPOKE AT A MLK EVENT AND HAD
POINTED WORDS FOR THE PRESIDENT.
>> TODAY WE TALK ABOUT JUSTICE,
AND TODAY WE TALK ABOUT RACISM.
AND I MUST TELL YOU, IT GIVES ME
NO PLEASURE TO TELL YOU THAT WE
NOW HAVE A PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES WHO IS A RACIST.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE ALMOST DEF
COMEDY JAM HE PERFORMS AT.
RUDY GIULIANI HAS BEEN BUSY.
HE'S BEEN WALKING HIS COMMENTS
ABOUT THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION
BACK AND FORTH.
HE GAVE A DOOZY OF AN INTERVIEW
TO "THE NEW YORKER."
HE WEIGHED IN ON THE REPORT FROM
BUZZ FEED SAYING THAT TRUMP
DIRECTED MICHAEL COHEN TO LIE TO
CONGRESS.
GIULIANI SAYS I CAN TELL FROM
THE MOMENT I READ THE STORY IT
WAS FALSE.
THE NEW YORKER SAYS BECAUSE?
BECAUSIVY BEEN THR
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE
TAPES, THE E-MAILS.
AND THEY PROBABLY WENT THEIR
OTHERS AND FOUND THE SAME THING.
AND THEY SAID WAIT, WHAT TAPES
HAVE YOU BEEN THROUGH?
AND RUDY SAID, I SHOULDN'T HAVE
SAID TAPES.
ARE WE SURE RUDY IS REALLY A
LAWYER?
I WANT TO SEE THAT DIPLOMA.
THE INTERVIEW WAS DONE AS RUDY
WAS ABOUT TO JUMP IN THE SHOWER.
AS NUTTY AS THAT SOUNDS, IMAGINE
HIM SAYING THOSE THINGS NUDE.
ARE YOU DOING IT?
MEANWHILE, THERE'S ANOTHER TRUMP
TELL-ALL BOOK ON THE WAY THAT
HAS SOME FUN STUFF ABOUT HIS
FORMER CHIEF OF STAFF JOHN
KELLY.
TURNS OUT, JOHN KELLY MAY HAVE
BEEN MORE MISERABLE THAN WE
THOUGHT HE WAS.
IT IS CALLED "TEAM OF VIPERS ",
IT IS WRITTEN BY A GUY WHO USED
TO WORK IN THE COMMUNICATIONS
OFFICE.
HE SAID WORKING FOR TRUMP WAS
THE WORST JOB HE'S EVER HAD.
IF HE GOT FIRED IT WOULD BE THE
BEST DAY HE EVER HAD IN THIS
PLACE.
AND FOR A GUY WHO SPENT TEN
CHRISTMASES IN BAGHDAD, THAT'S
SAYING SOMETHING.
I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE KELLY
DIDN'T ENJOY HIS TIME, BECAUSE
HE LOOKED SO HAPPY TO BE THERE.
WE LOOKED THIS UP TODAY.
THERE ARE PHOTOS OF JOHN KELLY,
WE HAD THEM.
WE PUT THEM SIDE BY SIDE WITH
WHAT YOU GET IF YOU DO A SEARCH
FOR STOCK PHOTOS USING THE
KEYWORD "IMPOTENCE".
THERE'S PHOTO.
JOHN KELLY, IMPOTENCE.
JOHN KELLY, IMPOTENCE.
JOHN KELLY, IMPOTENCE.
AND JOHN KELLY AND IMPOTENCE.
ONE MORE, JOHN KELLY AND, JOHN
KELLY HAD NO IDEA THIS WHOLE
THING WAS NOTHING MORE THAN AN
AUDITION FOR A CIALIS
COMMERCIAL.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS A MEMOIR
COMING OUT?
CHRIS CHRISTIE, THE FORMER
GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY HAS A
MEMOIR OUT DUE A WEEK FROM
TODAY.
IT'S CALLED WHAT'S THE BOOK
GOING TO BE CALLED WHILE HE'S
EATING A SANDWICH, AND THE RAES
REST IS HISTORY.
HEY, NATHAN, HOW'S JAMIE DOING?
>> SO FAR SO GOOD.
THE BRUSH SMELLS LIKE FLOOR.
>> Jimmy: JAMIE, KEEP GOING.
IT LOOKS PROBABLY PERFECT JUST
LIKE THAT.
>> IT'S REALLY ON FLEET.
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What's Worse: Working for Trump or Being Married to Him?

34 Folder Collection
Jingjiang Li published on February 1, 2019
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