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You're sad, you miss them.
You're angry, and you're horny, and you wanna text them.
You shouldn't be doing any of that.
Don't look at their Instagram.
[People Share Their Best Breakup Advice]
I've been through only breakups.
Off the top of my head, I don't know how many breakups I've been through.
I've been through two pretty big breakups.
There's been a good amount.
Every breakup is not fun.
The first one was bad.
Let's just say he wasn't the best.
And that's all I'll say on the matter.
Second one, it was really rough.
We were living together, so it was like this whole thing where I had to like, move out, and then he had to help me move out, and just all these emotions.
I was very naive and young, and I didn't really understand what was happening.
The most significant breakup I had was probably about five years ago.
That was very, very, very hard.
We were dating on and off for about five years, and then he told me he had a girlfriend.
I was like, what do you want me to say?
And he was like, that you're happy for me.
And I was like, oh.
It's really weird, like when you're in a long-term relationship, you kind of become a unit.
You become a we.
You're suddenly just totally on your own.
I was less sad and more angry.
For a while, nothing's gonna bring you joy.
Everything that brought you joy is going to now cause you pain, so it's hard to find anything that actually makes you happy after a breakup.
A lot of people tell you, you'll get over it,
You'll meet someone else.
Things that kind of don't really make you feel better, and nothing really can.
Like you never really get over it, you just learn how to manage it.
I still feel like I'm kind of in a grieving place.
You might have to actually grieve.
We only usually associate it with death, but it's about loss.
And you have every right to grieve.
Finally, it's just up to you what you do with your time.
Eventually, day by day, you'll feel a little bit better.
And then you won't.
And then you will, and then you won't.
And then you will.
The best breakup advice I think I've ever received was take your time.
You don't have to jump into dating immediately after.
I tried that, and that didn't work.
That was just looking for intimacy in places that I wasn't really gonna find it.
Take the time, learn from it.
It's a new lesson, it's a new situation, and you need to figure yourself out.
But also, just let it be.
Focus 100 percent on yourself.
If you're focusing on someone else, you're not gonna be happy at all.
Go serve someone else.
Cause any time you're in pain, all you do is think about yourself, and think about how bad you feel.
Go serve in any way you can.
Whether that's helping at an old folks home, or picking up trash, or going to serve with the homeless downtown.
I didn't receive any good advice.
But, one thing that really helps is journaling.
It was like, three solid months of me just angrily typing at my computer.
The journaling helped me be like, (bleep) you, I love you, I miss you, I hate you.
And, like, not affecting him at all, but, like, letting it all out.
That helped a lot.
After I got out of a relationship, I just turned to the things that I love most.
Played a lot of music, did a lot of writing.
Went out and, like, rode my skateboard a lot, which I haven't done in years.
I kind of wrote a clap-back rap song and filmed a little video to it, and sent that to my ex.
She thought it was actually pretty cool.
I was still in school.
I really, like, focused on my studies, doing well in school, like, going after my goals.
Get some pizza.
Get your best friends together.
You don't have to say anything.
Watch a really funny movie.
Maybe have a glass of wine.
Don't use pizza as the answer, but definitely eat pizza because it helps everything.
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People Share Their Best Break-Up Advice

432 Folder Collection
Jenn published on January 5, 2019
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