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  • "How you doin'?"

  • Joey Tribbiani is a child in a man's body.

  • "You're a man-child!"

  • And because of that,

  • he embodies the stage of life that Friends is capturing --

  • that time when the world views you as an adult,

  • but you still kind of feel like a kid,

  • when having fun with friends is a top priority

  • and you're not tied down with major responsibilities.

  • It's like Joey's meant to live in this twilight zone

  • between adolescence and adulthood forever.

  • "'Sup with the whack PlayStation, 'sup?"

  • You might say that of all the friends,

  • this character most embodies the philosophy of the show,

  • which we discussed in our Romance of Friendship video --

  • the idea that friendships are the great romances of our lives.

  • Is this friendship?

  • I think so!”

  • For Joey this is most literally true,

  • because his friends are the only partners he ends up with.

  • In many ways,

  • youthful, never-changing Joey is the true heart of the show,

  • reflecting the deeper message and moment of life

  • that Friends is all about.

  • Look at me!

  • I'm Chandler!

  • Could I be wearing any more clothes?”

  • What happened?”

  • Aw, man, he promised he wouldn't take the chairs!”

  • Before we go on, we want to talk a little bit

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  • Joey's simple way of seeing things usually comes across as stupidity.

  • "But it hurts my Joey's apple!"

  • "Okay, for the last time.

  • It's not named after each individual man."

  • But he also takes us by surprise with wisdom from the heart.

  • You have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there

  • and you be the most committed guy there ever was.”

  • In this way, Joey fits thewise foolarchetype --

  • You've always looked out for me and shared your wisdom.”

  • “I am pretty wisdomous.”

  • which you can also see in a show like Cheers.

  • "You can't crawl in bed with a pizza.

  • Well, maybe you could, but a-a pizza can't keep you warm.

  • Oh, maybe it could, but you can't kiss a pizza.

  • Your lips would get--"

  • "Coach, we get the point."

  • The fool in literature often speaks words of wisdom,

  • disguised as silliness or nonsense.

  • Thou shouldst not have been old until thou wast wise.”

  • You can't just give up!

  • Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

  • As the wise fool,

  • Joey's able to get at deep truths about what his friends are feeling.

  • "The big question is -- does he like you?

  • Right?

  • Because if he doesn't like you, it's all a moo point."

  • "Huh.

  • A moo point?"

  • "Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion.

  • You know, it just doesn't matter.

  • It's moo."

  • Time and time again, he has a sixth sense for when they need uplifting,

  • knows just the right heartfelt gesture to offer

  • and tells them what they need to hear even if they don't always want to.

  • They have a kid together, you know?

  • They're like--they're like a family.

  • And if, I don't know, there's a chance they can make that work,

  • I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that.”

  • Watching Joey is like watching a child try to function in the adult world.

  • Now that you told me I can't have her it makes me want her even more.”

  • What are you, a child?”

  • Yes!”

  • He has a refreshing lack of self-consciousness.

  • When it comes to just pure and simple hanging out,

  • he's probably the most fun, easy friend to be around.

  • "[Evil laughs]"

  • But on the downside, Joey's simplistic understanding of things

  • maybe explains why -- especially looking back today --

  • he comes across as pretty sleazy in his dealings with women.

  • You think I'm just gonna sleep with her

  • and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable?

  • Yeah, that sounds about right.”

  • In the Friends era, Joey's womanizing was presented as funny --

  • and even enviable.

  • Hey that was nice of you guys to back off

  • and let Joey get the girl for once.”

  • -- but this is one of the aspects of the show

  • that has aged poorly,

  • "Hey listen.

  • Can you do me a favor?

  • When she comes out, could you just mention

  • that I'm not looking for a serious relationship?

  • That'll be great."

  • and in today's world, it doesn't really fly

  • to just dismiss all this with the excuse

  • that he doesn't know any better.

  • "I went with a guy who lives in this building

  • and it didn't end very well."

  • "That wouldn't by any chance be Joey Tribbiani?"

  • "[Gasp] Yes!"

  • "Of course it was."

  • So in some ways,

  • Joey's child nature makes him super special,

  • charming and intoxicating to people around him.

  • "Remember when you were a kid

  • and your mom dropped you off at the movies

  • with a jar of jam and a spoon?"

  • "You're so pretty."

  • While in others, it makes him dysfunctional,

  • "Can I just stop you there for a second?

  • When people do this [air quotes] I don't really know what that means."

  • dependent on others to care for him,

  • "Here's the phone bill."

  • "Oh my God!"

  • "That's our phone number."

  • and hopelessly insensitive.

  • So do you have any moves?”

  • No, no, I'm just myself, and if they don't like me for--

  • I'm sorry, I couldn't even get through that.”

  • Joey is the Casanova of Friends.

  • "How you doin'?"

  • "How you doin'?"

  • "How you doin'?"

  • "How you doin'?"

  • So it's interesting

  • that while all his friends find lasting love,

  • Joey never really has a long-term relationship.

  • Instead of finding love himself,

  • Joey acts as a kind of inadvertent Cupid.

  • He's the accidental matchmaker of Friends.

  • He's responsible for Monica and Chandler getting together in London,

  • because Monica was actually looking for Joey

  • before she gave up and slept with Chandler instead.

  • He's the one who introduces Phoebe to her future husband Mike.

  • "Mike!"

  • "Yeah?"

  • "Okay!"

  • And he officiates the weddings of both Monica and Chandler

  • “I do.”

  • “I do.”

  • Yeah you do!”

  • and Phoebe and Mike.

  • And I know I speak for everyone here when I wish them a lifetime of happiness.”

  • Joey also gives pep talks to Ross about going after Rachel.

  • "For what it's worth,

  • with Rachel I don't think you'll ever be just 'anybody.'"

  • "Hey, there you go!"

  • "'Thanks!'"

  • And even Joey's brief romance with Rachel

  • ultimately helps bring Rachel and Ross back together,

  • because it reveals to Ross that he's very much not over Rachel.

  • Of course you're not fine.

  • You're --

  • you're Ross and Rachel.”

  • Joey's not actively trying to bring these people together,

  • but it makes sense that he's behind so many romances.

  • Joey genuinely seems to care more about his friends finding love,

  • than experiencing it himself.

  • “I've been with my share of women.

  • In fact, I've been with a lot of people's share of women.

  • But the point is I've never felt about anyone

  • the way Ross felt about you.”

  • Maybe he just doesn't have the need for long-term monogamy that the others do.

  • "I don't cheat!

  • That's not me!

  • I'm not Joey!"

  • "Whoa!

  • Yeah, okay."

  • This lover of women isn't particularly interested in finding a woman.

  • "What are you talking about?

  • One woman?

  • That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.

  • Let me tell you something, Ross.

  • There's lots of flavors out there."

  • There are a couple of times we see him express strong feelings --

  • "But then she goes home with the director

  • and it's like somebody's ripping out my heart!"

  • "I think I'm falling in love with you."

  • but even in these cases,

  • he's probably more into the idea of being in love,

  • and it doesn't last all that long.

  • he isn't suited for what a long-term romance actually entails.

  • In Season ten, he goes out with Phoebe's friend

  • and considers it a deal breaker

  • that she eats some of the food off his plate.

  • Joey doesn't share food!”

  • This pet peeve is presented as a joke,

  • "You are beautiful, you know that?"

  • "That is so sweet!

  • [Laughs]"

  • but we might feel sorry for Joey that, even well into his thirties,

  • he can't share a plate of food with a girl.

  • And other Joey behaviors played for laughs --

  • "I know Emma wants it,

  • but he's mine, and I need him.

  • She's being unreasonable."

  • tell us he's far from ready for the responsibilities

  • of being a mature partner or family man.

  • "Look!"

  • "That's a pig."

  • "I know, I know, but look at the knobs on it!"

  • So what does it mean that Joey's the heart of Friends?

  • You cry every time somebody talks about Titanic.”

  • Those two had only each other!”

  • He the sweetheart of the show

  • “I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.”

  • and the loving spirit of this group.

  • You could argue that Joey's the embodiment of friend love itself.

  • His love has a powerful simplicity and innocence about it --

  • it's not encumbered by jealousy or trust issues

  • or desires for a life plan.

  • He represents a platonic devotion that's rare and special.

  • "That's right, I stepped up!

  • She's my friend, and she needed help!

  • If I had to, I'll pee on anyone of you."

  • Ultimately, Joey doesn't need a partner

  • because he's fulfilled by the love of his friends.

  • In later seasons when he does feel a longing for a relationship,

  • it's no coincidence that he first dreams about dating Monica

  • and then feels something for Rachel.

  • Clearly, any romance he'd want would have to be built on friendship.

  • “I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend, you know?

  • I mean yeah, I could get a girlfriend.

  • Yeah, we could sit in a chair and do crossword puzzles.

  • But you know, are we ever gonna have the closeness like you guys have?”

  • Joey's friends find that sometimes

  • it's worth risking friendship for the possibility of love.

  • Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.”

  • Eh, we weren't that close anyway.”

  • But for Joey, the platonic bond is more important.

  • They mean so much to me They're like my family, you know?

  • If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time,

  • I just--I don't think we can be together.”

  • He's willing to not act on his feelings for Rachel

  • because he doesn't want to hurt Ross.

  • And eventually Joey and Rachel decide

  • that their friendship is truly too good to become something else anyway.

  • Well, how come Monica and Chandler could do it?”

  • “I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.”

  • Joey may not be able to manage his friends' lives like a Monica,

  • but it's hard to imagine a friend with a heart more in the right place.

  • He's 100% there -- in love with his friends.

  • He cannot do this to Phoebe!

  • This guy's going to get the butt-kicking of a lifetime.”

  • And of course, Joey's bromance with Chandler

  • is a contender for the most moving love story in the show.

  • Joey and Chandler are a true team through their twenties,

  • supporting each other, blowing off steam together,

  • and acting as the main players in each other's lives

  • through this formative period.

  • And even as they develop more separate lives,

  • "I get my own room?"

  • "You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?"

  • Above all, Joey only wants the best for his best friend.

  • Before with the wishbone, I-I didn't wish we'd win the lottery,

  • I wished you'd get the job.”

  • We see the other friends change dramatically over the years.

  • But Joey doesn't have this will to change.

  • And in the series finale he's still the same single guy

  • living in the same apartment as when we first met him.

  • And the short-lived spin-off Joey pretty much confirms this --

  • Joey's life continues to be about his friendships, family,

  • and chasing both acting gigs and women.

  • Joey's stasis might seem a little sad.

  • But the positive spin on all this is

  • that Joey hasn't changed because he's never felt a need to.

  • His friends overthink things, struggle with insecurities,

  • or feel dissatisfied with the direction of their lives.

  • And these neuroses are what lead them to push themselves and grow.

  • Joey's not self-reflective.

  • He's already confident and happy with himself

  • when we meet him.

  • And who's to say that he needs to have a wife or a family

  • to be fulfilled in his life?

  • Going back to our wise fool in stories,

  • the fool is often looked down on by society

  • because he doesn't care to understand or conform to social norms.

  • And that's the case with Joey, too.

  • Now, just because you don't understand something

  • doesn't make it wrong.”

  • He just doesn't have any use for those automatic assumptions

  • about what you're supposed to do with your life,

  • simply because it's what everybody does.

  • Joey tunes that out and listens instead to what actually feels right for him.

  • How can you not care?”

  • Like this.”

  • And that's perhaps the best wisdom any of us can take from his example.

  • Friends ended with the close

  • of what was probably the defining period of Joey's life --

  • the era he spent with his best friends, the great loves of his life,

  • and years later it's still a comfort to think of him not ever changing,

  • a kind of human time capsule who'll always be there for you.

  • "Exactly!

  • Unisex!"

  • "Maybe you need sex.

  • I had sex a couple of days ago."

  • "Oh, no, Joey.

  • U-N-I-Sex."

  • "Well, I ain't gonna say no to that."

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"How you doin'?"

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