ABRACADABRA!

HOCUS POCUS!

BIM BAM!

BY THE POWER OF DRISCOLL!

>> ( COUGHING )

OH.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

GETTING LIMBERED UP, FLEXING THE

OLD MAGIC MUSCLES IF YOU KNOW

WHAT I MEAN.

>> MR. MAGNIFICENT.

>> IT'S ACTUALLY MR. MAGNIFICENT

THE MASTER OF MYSTERY.

>> SIT THERE.

>> James: OKAY.

>> James: OKAY.

>> FINISHED?

>> James: YUP.

>> OKAY, WELL, I WILL BE YOUR

ACTING MAGIC OFFICER FOR TODAY.

AND ACCORDING TO THE BOOK OF

MAGICAL LAW, PASSING THIS TEST

AND EARNING ONE'S LICENSE IS A

REQUIREMENT OF ALL WIZARDS AND

WITCHES WHO WISH TO LEGALLY

PRACTICE MAGIC IN THIS COUNTRY.

CAN FIRST I INSPECT YOUR WAND

PLEASE?

>> James: CHEEKY.

( LAUGHTER )

YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY ME DINNER

FIRST!

I'M KIDDING.

WAIT A SECOND, WONDER WHERE MY

WAND COULD BE,

PERHAPS... IT'S IN HERE...

I DON'T KNOW THAT'S JUST A PACK

OF CARDS.

WHAT JUST --

>> WHAT'S THAT?

>> James: MAGIC WAND.

THIS IS A WAND.

>> James: REALLY?

LOOKS LIKE A TWIG.

( LAUGHTER )

>> OKAY.

FOR THE NEXT PART OF THE TEST

I'LL NEED TO SEE YOU PERFORM A

SIMPLE CHARM OR JINX.

NOTHING TOO COMPLICATED.

ALTHOUGH I'M SURE THAT WON'T BE

PROBLEM FOR YOU.

>> James: WELL, BUCKLE YOUR SEAT

BELTS AND PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!

( LAUGHTER )

DA DA DA DA.

DA DA DA.

DA DA DA DA.

DA DA DA DA CHIA, DA DA DA DA

CHIA.

BABA BABA, DA DA DA DA.

( LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE )

WOO!

>> RIGHT, I CAN SEE THIS IS

QUICKLY BECOMING A WASTE OF MY

TIME.

NEXT UP I'LL NEED TO SEE A LEVEL

THREE TRANSFIGURATION SPELL:

TURNING AN INANIMATE OBJECT INTO

A LIVING ANIMAL.

ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.

MUTATIO ANIMUS!

MUTATIO ANIMUS!

( CLAPPING )

>> James: VERY IMPRESSIVE, BUT

I'M AFRAID AMATEUR HOUR I THINK

IS OVER.

TIME FOR THE REAL SHOW TO BEGIN.

TIME FOR THE REAL SHOW TO BEGIN.

♪ ♪ ♪

ONE SECOND PLEASE.

>> WHERE-- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

♪ ♪ ♪

( AUDIENCE CLAPPING )

♪ Y'ALL READY FOR THIS ♪

♪ GET DOWN ♪

♪ GET DOWN ♪

♪ READY, READY, READY FOR THIS ♪

♪ YEAH

YEAH

♪ YEAH

YEAH

♪ YEAH

♪ ♪ ♪

( LAUGHTER )

>> STOP!

STOP WITH THAT!

>> James: WHY?

>> YOU'RE A JOKE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT HERE,

BUT YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW ANY

ABOUT REAL MAGIC.

>> James: ( GASPS )

HOW DARE YOU!

I DEMAND AN APOLOGY!

>> APOLOGY?

YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THAT

POOR DOVE!

>> James: YEAH, THAT IS A SHAME.

>> I MEAN, ANYONE CAN DO WHAT

YOU'RE DOING!

YOU'RE JUST PRANCING AROUND LIKE

THIS!

DANCY GIRLS!

OH, DANCE!

WHAT THE--

>> James: WELL, THAT WAS

EMBARRASSING.

( LAUGHTER )

>> REALLY?

WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S

EMBARRASSING.

YOU'VE FAILED!

>> James: WHAT?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK I PUT

INTO THIS?

I GOT THESE TWO, AND ON A DAY

RATE!

( LAUGHTER )

>> I DON'T CARE, YOU'RE A

DISGRACE TO MAGIC AND YOU

DESERVE ABSOLUTELY NO PART IN

THE WIZARDING COMMUNITY.

NOW GET OUT!

>> James: I WILL DO NOTHING OF

THE SORT.

IN FACT, I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO

YOUR MANAGER.

GO AND GET DUBLYDOBS, DOBLY,

DUBLY THE MAN WITH THE BEARD!

WEIRDY-BEARDY GUY.

HE'LL KNOW REAL MAGIC WHEN HE

SEES IT.

>> OH, YEAH?

HOW'S THIS FOR REAL MAGIC?

SWINUM!

( AUDIENCE REACTS )

>> James: OKAY, TURN ME BACK,

TURN ME BACK, NOW.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

COME BACK!

HEY, GIRLS, PICK ME UP!

PICK ME UP!

GIRLS!

GIRLS!

COME BACK!

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.