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  • Hello, Newman.

  • I hate Keith Hernandez. Hate him! - I despise him.

  • Why? - Why? I'll tell you why.

  • Let me tell it. - No. You can't tell it.

  • You always tell it! - Alright! Tell it!

  • Ja ja ja - just tell it.

  • Alright.

  • June 14, 1987.

  • Mets Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right field stands, when a crucial

  • Hernandez error opens the door to a five run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game.

  • Our day was ruined.

  • There was a lot of people. You know, they were waiting by the players' parking lot. Now we're coming

  • down the ramp...

  • Newman was in front of me.

  • Hernandez was coming toward us. As he passes us, Newman turns and he says,

  • "Nice game, pretty boy."

  • Hernandez continued past us up the ramp.

  • Then, a second later

  • something happened,

  • that changed us in a very deep and profound way

  • from that day forward.

  • What was it? - He spit on us.

  • And I screamed out, "I'm hit!"

  • Then, I turned and the spit ricocheted off him and it hit me.

  • Wow... What a story.

  • Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise of your account.

  • Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for ms. Benes, as I've heard this story a number of times.

  • Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me.

  • According to your story,

  • Hernandez passes you and starts walking up the ramp. Then, you say you were struck

  • on the right temple.

  • The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple, striking Newman between the 3rd and the 4th rib.

  • The spit then came off the rib, made a right turn hitting Newman in the right wrist,

  • causing him to drop his baseball cap.

  • The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses - in mid air, mind you -

  • makes a left turn,

  • and lands on Newman's left thigh.

  • That is one magic loogie.

  • Well, that's the way it happened.

  • What happened to your head when you got hit?

  • Well, my head went

  • back, and to the left.

  • Say that again!

  • Back, and to the left.

  • Back, and to the left.

  • Back, and to the left.

  • So, what are you saying? - I'm saying

  • that the spit could not have come from behind.

  • That there had to have been a second spitter.

  • Behind the bushes on the gravelly road.

  • If the spitter was behind you - as you claim -

  • that would have caused your head

  • to pitch forward.

  • So, the spit could have only come from the front, and to the right.

  • But that's not what they would have you believe...

  • I'm leaving.

  • Jerry's a nut.

  • The sad thing is we may never know the real truth.

Hello, Newman.

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