Name: 3 Steps to Turn Jealousy into Your Secret Superpower
Uploaded: 2018-11-21T00:17:26.000Z
Duration: 7 min 49 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

It's Marie Forleo, and you are watching
MarieTV, the place to be if you want to create

Now, on this episode we're gonna talk about
something that I think affects almost everyone,

and that's when you feel envious of other
people.

So this is Q&A Tuesday and today's question
comes from Lauren who writes:

I'm a huge fan of you and your team and
the show.

I'm a 24 year old woman who has a jealousy
problem.

I'm a nice person, but I'm constantly
comparing myself to other women, specifically

in business, physically, intellectually, humor-wise,
and in all human traits.

Logically I know that I'm unique, but emotionally
I always wonder 'why couldn't I look more

Or 'why didn't I think of that business
idea first?'

How can I stop these jealous thoughts and
become more confident?

Now, before we go any further, what I think
you're feeling is envy, my friend, not jealousy.

You see, jealousy is what you feel when you
think someone's trying to snatch something

Like if somebody's making the move on your
man or your lady or your best friend.

Envy, on the other hand, as ancient Greek
philosopher Aristotle puts it, is the pain

It's that desire that we get for other people's
traits or their possessions or their abilities.

I'm gonna be on the cover of Hair Envy magazine.

But here's the thing, Lauren, envy does
not have to be a bad thing if you know how

to turn that beat around and really use it
to your advantage.

Step number one is don't hate, celebrate.

That means you gotta say yes to feeling that
feeling.

Because that feeling is likely an indicator
of some place in your life that deserves a

I mean, I've found that whenever I feel
envious of someone, that's a place I really

Look, I love seeing people win, even if it
makes me feel a little bit envious.

If he did it or she did it, you know what?

And oftentimes in this life it's really
hard to become what you don't see.

You know, a lot of us really need to see examples
of other people doing things before we can

even understand what's possible in our own
lives.

So step number one is you gotta appreciate,
you got to congratulate, and, yes, you have

to celebrate both that feeling and the person
who triggered it for you.

So now it's really time – you've gotta
dig deeper.

What I want you to do is take out a pen and
a paper and jot some things down.

I want you to write down exactly what you're
envious of, and this is really important,

So, for instance, if you're envious of someone's
let's say financial success, you might say

initially, “well, I just want more money.”

But I want you to go deeper and go further.

Is it really the freedom that you think money
is gonna provide for you?

I mean, maybe you just want to travel more.

Now, if it's something about someone's
appearance, for instance, what is it about

Is it wanting the feeling of being more confident,
or do you just never find the time to get

So you've got to get brutally honest and
write everything down.

Then I want you to ask two very important
questions.

So number one, are you willing to really put
in the time and the effort and the energy

And question number two is this, is developing
that skill or that trait or that ability or

result really aligned with your priorities
and your goals right now?

Because here's the thing, I don't want you
to let envy take you off track and start chasing

Because I got to tell you, that is a recipe
for misery, my friend.

And here's what's great about this step:
once you find out what you're envious of

and why, when you really investigate, some
of your envy just might evaporate.

So you might discover you might not really
want what someone else has or you might not

be willing to do the work or put in the effort
to get there right now.

But that doesn't mean that envy is gonna go
away.

So if you do all these steps and it doesn't
evaporate, we got to move on to step number

Meaning if you see something that you want
to emulate, it is time to activate.

You need to initiate and generate so that
you can accelerate that which you want to

accumulate, and then you can eliminate what
tends to aggravate and contaminate, but does

And once you do that, as a human you will
graduate and affiliate to that which you appreciate.

And know, my friend, I do not exaggerate.