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  • - Which one do you want to go to?

  • Hey, who's your parent?

  • She don't know who her parents are.

  • (laughing)

  • - I'm Vanessa.

  • - And I am Talbot.

  • - And I'm a twin to this person.

  • - Man-child

  • - My name is Ellen Acuario. I got a two-year-old,

  • and a six-year-old, and they're both assholes.

  • - I am a teacher and I teach Early Childhood Music

  • and Movement classes.

  • - (both) No

  • - I hear a baby, and I don't like babies.

  • They're, literally, parasites.

  • Oh, God!

  • - Oh my God! I'm so good for this.

  • - Are there any twins?

  • If they're identical, tell me when they'll--

  • Okay, I don't want to drop babies.

  • - Here, let's do some baby warm-ups.

  • (crying babies)

  • - Hi, how are you?

  • Hi little babies, oh they're babies everywhere.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Hi!

  • - They're all pretty adorable.

  • That's for sure.

  • - Okay, I can move around?

  • (keys drop)

  • Hi, precious.

  • Hi, sweetheart.

  • Hi!

  • Hi!

  • This is much harder than you would think.

  • (laughing)

  • - That ain't your baby.

  • - Should I start moving babies?

  • Okay! I'm taking you, hi!

  • - He sure belongs to me.

  • - I don't think so!

  • I'm giving you to him!

  • So, for you two it was the eye color.

  • - He wants to go this way, one hand under his butt

  • and, there you go.

  • - Hello!

  • - Hi, buddy!

  • - I'm holding a baby, it's not fantastic.

  • - Hi baby!

  • Hi Everly, hi you!

  • Oh my God, you're so freaking cute.

  • I just want to eat you.

  • - Bounce him up and down.

  • Hi. How are you?

  • - Can I give this baby to anyone?

  • Here, here is your new baby.

  • - Hey, who's your parent?

  • Are you adopted?

  • I was adopted.

  • - Is that someone you know?

  • Your eyes speak to me,

  • I think you're the daddy!

  • - Which one do you want to go to?

  • She don't know who her parents are.

  • (laughter)

  • I'm gonna say this is her baby.

  • - I think his baby might be her baby.

  • - There you go!

  • - Really good.

  • - I'm sorry baby.

  • - Come on, Fox, y'all really trusting

  • of y'all baby.

  • (laughter)

  • - Why you looking at me like that, Fox?

  • - Oh, hi crying baby, oh.

  • Where's your momma?

  • That's your momma!

  • Oh, I got it.

  • Oh, my God! Money, money, money!

  • Yeah baby!

  • - Is that your mom, or is that your dad?

  • Which one?

  • One of this white folks do you belong to?

  • Is this daddy?

  • Fox!

  • I think this is your momma.

  • - Let me go down here.

  • I think you're going to go here.

  • But, yeah, I can't tell if that's

  • your mom or if you just like to run.

  • - Can you talk yet or no?

  • Come here!

  • Who's your momma?

  • (laughing)

  • I'll take her back.

  • - I think this baby.

  • You get this baby.

  • The baby seems more calmed in his grasp

  • than did in my grasp.

  • - Are these twins?

  • They look kind of similar.

  • I think they're twins.

  • Not because she's Asian, yes because she's Asian.

  • Those are twin babies, you just don't have a baby.

  • - Look at that!

  • It's a quiet, I'm magic!

  • - Moment of truth.

  • Oh hey, I was pretty close!

  • - Yay!

  • - Whoo!

  • - We got two right.

  • - (Screaming) Thank you, thank you, I know!

  • - Half.

  • - Half?

  • - Which one is yours?

  • That one?

  • - Favorite baby?

  • I just got to go for the fat baby!

  • (laughing)

  • Oh yeah, I love that baby!

  • Hi, baby!

  • - She's so cute!

  • I have to say, you have the cutest baby.

  • Sorry, guys!

  • - So nice.

  • - Oh my gosh.

  • - Were you offended when I thought that was her baby?

  • - No.

  • - Do you get that a lot or not really?

  • - Yeah (laughing).

  • Everyone's like - she's just so different skin-toned.

  • - She is!

  • Is your partner darker or did she just came out?

  • - Yeah

  • (laughing)

  • - No.

  • I mean, not everybody looks like their parents.

  • - I did not base off of race.

  • They babies did look like twins -ish.

  • - Ish

  • - I have baby fever.

  • Apparently, when you see a cute baby,

  • your brain goes into overload and you just want

  • to eat them.

  • - Babies are

  • - Hard.

  • - Loud and hard.

  • We won't be having them, hopefully,

  • for a very long time.

  • - Have a newfound respect for parents.

  • Yes.

  • - Yes, have more respect for our parents

  • because they

  • - Deal with two.

  • - I'm going to hug them and say thank you

  • because you nurtured us past

  • - The stage.

  • (applause)

  • - Oki doki.

  • How y'all had me judging these babies?

- Which one do you want to go to?

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