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  • * Sirens *

  • Ian:SHUT UP!

  • * Evil laugh *

  • Look at this little crime committing dirtbag burglar

  • He just broke in your house

  • And now he's gonna burgle the heck out of it

  • * disappears *

  • * Evil laughing*

  • * Anthony screaming *

  • *AUGH!*

  • And now you're dead

  • All because you are dumb dumb

  • But don't worry, there's a solution

  • My name is Sargent Anous

  • And i'm gonna teach you how to survive a home burglary

  • * Shiny tooth *

  • Let's go!

  • There are 2 foolproof ways to avoid being bat murdered by a burglar

  • Burglars always hate being killed

  • Here´s a weapon you can make using items found in any household!

  • Simply take some pvc pipe

  • Errrgggghhhh

  • A nitous oxide canister

  • Errrgggghhhh

  • A valve from massive steam-operated machinery

  • Errrgggghhhh

  • Duct tape!

  • Errrgggghhhh

  • And a butternut squash

  • Then you tape it all together

  • And bam!!!

  • You're ready for action bucko!

  • Errrgggghhhh

  • *Ugh!*

  • *Screams*

  • BUTTERNUT SQUASH'D!

  • If it doesn't work out you can always use my next method

  • Tire them out!

  • However this doesn't work if you´re lazy or morbidly obese quadriplegic

  • BAT MURDERED'D!

  • Well lets say none of these options work

  • In that case you need to stop that burgling burglar from getting in your house and burgling it in the first place

  • And in this case we use the rule of

  • Always

  • Silently

  • Shut

  • Doors

  • In case of

  • Kleptomaniacs

  • Or Assdick for short

  • You'd be surprised how many people don't think about assdick

  • I think about assdick all the time

  • *disappears*

  • Now there´s a man knows his assdick

  • ASSDICK FAIL'D!

  • Lets try that again

  • Girls Scout Cookies

  • Do you have the new punch flavor?

  • yep

  • ASSDICK FIST'D!

  • Let's try that again

  • Try to get through that, BIT*H!

  • 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,900 ASSDICK TO THE FACE'D!

  • If Assdick doesn't work for you, you only have one option left

  • Dress as a burglar yourself!

  • not bad

  • What the hell?

  • Uhh... sorry sir i am currently burglaring this house right now

  • No my apologies

  • I shall burglar elsewhere

  • Good day, sir!

  • YUSS!!!

  • BURGLAR BAMOOZLE'D-D-DD-D!

  • Stop right there you burgling burglars!

  • No no i'm just pretending to be a burglar

  • Like you told me to

  • No i am just dressing like a burglar like you told me to

  • Prove it!

  • Take off your masks!

  • See

  • I can't tell you two apart.

  • All you white people look the same.

  • What? We don't look nothing alike!

  • Bullsh*t!

  • Hah! That burgling scum is off the streets for good!

  • But just to make sure

  • Let's go celebrate with some Ice cream

  • I'll buy since I keep all my life savings

  • Right in this wallet!

  • Ag! Ow! OO! Ow! Aug!

  • AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

  • Five Dollars?

  • He was RICH!!!!

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  • *Coughing*

  • Well, join me next week when I show you how to

  • Get the most likes on Instagram

  • By posting a picture of yourself dying

  • From BAT murder.......

  • *Click!*

  • Yeah! That one's going to get on the popular page for sure!

  • #CRAYOLO!

  • Bleugh!

  • Sergeant Anous only got 2 likes on his picture,

  • Both were from his mom

  • HASHTAG CRAYOLO!

  • To see bloopers and, this....

  • AAH!

  • Click the video right here!

  • Sorry, what was that? I have short term memory loss

  • From when I was eating paint

  • STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!

  • AND Subscribe!

  • WHAT's THAT? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SUBSCRIBE??????!!!!!????!!!!

  • BULLSH*T!!!

  • Yeah, I don't get why people find it so weird

  • When a guy loves his stuffed animal

  • But I LIKE to get naked and laven yourself in baby oil!

  • Then take my teddy bear and hump it into submission until I fall asleep

  • WHO Cares? right? RIGHT?

  • RRRIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT

  • UGH!

  • OWWW!

* Sirens *

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B2 US burglar burglary bat doesn work disappears murdered

HOW TO SURVIVE A BURGLARY

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    賴正華 posted on 2018/09/19
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