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  • >>AND, UH, THAT'S

  • THE WHOLE TOUR.

  • >>MAN, JAMES, THIS

  • PLACE IS SUPER NICE.

  • >>I KNOW, RIGHT?

  • MY PARENTS GOT IT AT

  • A REALLY GOOD PRICE.

  • APPARENTLY THERE WAS SOME

  • URBAN LEGEND ABOUT THE

  • FAMILY THAT USED TO LIVE HERE.

  • >>DO YOU GUYS WANT

  • TO START PLAYING?

  • >>YES.

  • OH MAN, GUYS, I HAVEN'T PLAYED

  • LIFE SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID.

  • >>OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO FIRST,

  • AND I'M TAKING THE COLLEGE PATH.

  • "CLASS CANCELED."

  • >>LUCKY.

  • >>HUH.

  • MY CLASS ACTUALLY GOT

  • CANCELED FOR TOMORROW.

  • HOW WEIRD IS THAT?

  • >>HUH, THAT'S CRAZY.

  • >>I AM GOING TO SKIP COLLEGE

  • AND GO STRAIGHT FOR CAREER.

  • >>ALL RIGHT.

  • >>"ARTIST."

  • THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

  • WHAT DID I LAND ON?

  • >>OH, UM, IT SAYS,

  • "TREE FALLS ON HOUSE.

  • LOSE ONE TURN..."

  • [CRACKING NOISE]

  • >>OH!

  • >>OKAY, NOBODY PANIC,

  • BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WE JUST

  • ENTERED A JUMANJI SITUATION,

  • SO I SUGGEST WE STOP-

  • >>WHITNEY!

  • >>WHITNEY!

  • >>MARRIAGE IS ONLY A FEW

  • SPACES AWAY AND I NEED THIS!

  • >>BUT WHO WILL YOU

  • BE MARRIED TO?

  • >>PERFECT.

  • A-HA!

  • >>[YELLS]

  • >>OH.

  • I MARRIED AN ARTIST.

  • I'VE BECOME MY MOTHER.

  • >>WAIT, SO IF YOU TWO

  • GOT MARRIED, THEN...

  • >>DO IT, MAL!

  • DO IT, MAL!

  • >>MAL, WE SHOULD

  • TALK ABOUT THIS...

  • >>DO IT, BAM!

  • MARRIED!

  • >>WAIT, NO RING.

  • >>WHAT?

  • BUT THEN, WHO DID I-?

  • >>WHAT YEAR IS IT?

  • >>[SCREAMING]

  • >>AND WHO DID I JUST MARRY?

  • >>NO!

  • >>THANK YOU, YOU

  • BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

  • I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THAT

  • GAME FOR 30 YEARS.

  • >>OH, GROSS, HE'S OLD

  • ENOUGH TO BE MY DAD.

  • >>YOU MEAN GRANDDAD.

  • I WAS FIFTY WHEN

  • I STARTED PLAYING.

  • >>[GROANING]

  • >>OKAY, CLEARLY WE JUST HAVE

  • TO HURRY UP AND FINISH THE

  • GAME SO THAT EVERYTHING

  • CAN GO BACK TO NORMAL.

  • >>I ACTIVELY OPPOSE THIS.

  • >>NOW MY CAREER IS "ATHLETE."

  • >>THAT FEELS MORE UNBELIEVABLE

  • THAN ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED

  • SO FAR.

  • >>OKAY, I MAKE ONE TOUCHDOWN

  • FOR THE OTHER TEAM...

  • >>WELL, AT LEAST HE DOESN'T

  • HAVE THE CAREER OF ARTIST.

  • LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO GET A

  • JOB TO SUPPORT THIS FAMILY.

  • "TEACHER."

  • NEVER MIND.

  • >>WHATEVER.

  • JUST KEEP PLAYING- OH!

  • WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

  • >>YOU OKAY, MAL?

  • >>[SCREAMS]

  • >>SHE LANDED ON A BABY TILE.

  • >>I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!

  • >>NO!

  • MAL?

  • YOU OKAY?

  • >>KEEP PLAYING!

  • >>WE'RE MOVING, MAL.

  • WE'RE MOVING.

  • >>OKAY.

  • >>I LANDED ON A BABY TILE TOO.

  • >>OH.

  • >>[WHITNEY SCREAMS]

  • YOU DID THIS TO ME!

  • >>IT'S- IT'S TWINS.

  • >>[SCREAMS LOUDER]

  • >>JUST GOT TO KEEP PLAYING.

  • SPIN FOR WHITNEY.

  • >>OKAY, I'M SPINNING

  • FOR YOU, WHITNEY.

  • OH, WE'RE BUYING A HOUSE.

  • >>WHAT?

  • IT HAD BETTER BE

  • A MODEST APARTMENT

  • BECAUSE WE CAN'T AFFORD-

  • >>IT'S THE MANSION.

  • >>[SCREAMS] NO!

  • >>WE'RE AN ARTIST AND A TEACHER!

  • WHO WOULD APPROVE THIS LOAN?

  • >>OH, CURSE YOU, FANNIE MAE!

  • >>IF I CAN JUST SELL

  • ONE OF MY PAINTINGS-

  • >>YOUR PAINTINGS ARE GARBAGE!

  • >>YOU'RE GOING TO BE

  • A TERRIBLE MOTHER!

  • >>I'M SPINNING FOR MY WIFE!

  • >>I'M NOT YOUR WIFE!

  • >>YOU LANDED ON

  • ANOTHER BABY TILE!

  • >>[SCREAMS]

  • >>OKAY, OKAY.

  • LET'S SEE HERE.

  • UM-

  • >>WE HAVE TO FINISH THIS

  • GAME OR WE'RE GOING TO

  • BE KNEE-DEEP IN BABIES.

  • >>PAYDAY.

  • OOH.

  • MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T

  • FINISH THE GAME.

  • >>JUST KEEP SPINNING!

  • >>I'M GOING, WHITNEY.

  • I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY

  • TO SWITCH CAREERS.

  • >>DO IT!

  • >>BUT MY DREAMS-

  • >>I DON'T CARE

  • ABOUT YOUR DREAMS!

  • OUR CHILDREN NEED TO EAT!

  • >>I'M A DOCTOR!

  • >>YES, THANK YOU, HEAVEN ABOVE!

  • >>I KNOW WHAT TO

  • DO WITH YOU NOW.

  • >>OKAY, I'M SPINNING

  • FOR YOU, MAL.

  • I AM SO SORRY.

  • >>DON'T SAY IT.

  • >>TRIPLETS.

  • >>[MAL SOBS]

  • >>I WILL HAVE AN

  • ARMY OF CHILDREN!

  • >>KEEP BREATHING!

  • >>OKAY.

  • OOH, PAYDAY!

  • LOOKS LIKE THIS

  • TEACHER'S GETTING...

  • THREE DOLLARS?

  • THAT'S TWO HOT DOGS AT COSTCO.

  • WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?

  • >>IT'S OKAY.

  • I MAKE ENOUGH TO

  • SUPPORT BOTH OF US.

  • >>WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, GUYS,

  • GUYS, GUYS, IF I GET A 10,

  • I WILL FINISH THE GAME.

  • >>WHAT?

  • [COLLECTIVE GROAN]

  • >>A 9.