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  • Presidential Pardons...

  • the only genuine get out of jail free card.

  • Pardons are one of the most powerful tools available

  • to a President and they have been used controversially

  • in the past.

  • Bill Clinton pardoned Marc Rich.

  • Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon.

  • And as we've mentioned before, Abraham Lincoln once

  • pardoned a man for attempted bestiality.

  • -That is true. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • And in fairness, this was the horse.

  • That's a pretty fuckable horse right there.

  • I'm not saying that you should fuck it,

  • I'm just saying I wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating apples.

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -The point here is...

  • While we were away Donald Trump issued his very first pardon

  • and it was a doozy.

  • REPORTER: A legal lightning bolt from President Trump

  • late Friday.

  • A presidential pardon for Arizona's controversial,

  • anti-illegal immigration hardliner... Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

  • That's right. Donald Trump pardons Joe Arpaio.

  • A man who answer's the question,

  • "What if a decaying Russet potato somehow hated Mexicans?"

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -But--

  • But let's look at that decision because if the President

  • of the United States is going to use his very first pardon

  • on someone this early in his term it really is worth knowing

  • exactly who Joe Arpaio is,

  • and what the implications of this decision may be.

  • And you probably may have heard of Joe Arpaio before.

  • He is carefully cultivated an image over 25 years

  • as a hard-nosed Sheriff with unconventional methods

  • that the media has lapped up.

  • REPORTER 2: Joe Arpaio is known as America's toughest Sheriff.

  • Sheriff Arpaio who's been dubbed,

  • "America's Toughest Sheriff."

  • REPORTER 3: America's toughest Sheriff, Joe Arpaio.

  • REPORTER 4: He's known as "America's Toughest Sheriff,"

  • for his crackdowns on illegal immigration and petty crime.

  • REPORTER 5: He brags about making prisoners eat

  • bologna sandwiches so rotten, the meat has turned green.

  • REPORTER 6: He makes his inmates wear pink.

  • He uses chain gangs.

  • REPORTER 7: Inmates are forced to wear striped prison garb

  • and pink underwear.

  • Well, that is just awful.

  • The pink underwear is fine but no one should be forced

  • to wear horizontal stripes.

  • They widen the silhouette. That is a fact.

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -That's a fashion fact.

  • Now, Arpaio didn't really mind that coverage.

  • He actually welcomed it, 'cause he loves being on camera

  • so much that he essentially spent years

  • treating prisoners as props for a reality show.

  • And sometimes, literally, he actually had

  • a short-lived show called, "Smile... You're Under Arrest!",

  • Where people with outstanding warrants would be tricked

  • into appearing on a set, only to be pranked

  • in the worst way possible.

  • Oh, wait, wait, I got one more surprise.

  • NARRATOR: These two people are actually

  • Deputies of Sheriff Joe Arpaio's office.

  • Take him down! Take him down!

  • So, dude, you gotta smile, 'cause you're under arrest.

  • MCEE: Oh, (CENSORED) for real!

  • -For real! (LAUGHING) -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

  • Whoomp, there it is!

  • -Wait. Wait. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • Whoomp, there it is.

  • Now, for the record, even then that reference was 15 years old.

  • Which is a weird wiggity-whack thing to do, dog.

  • And look, tricking people into arrest for your own amusement

  • is a terrible idea for a reality show.

  • The only worst idea is not making Peter the bachelor.

  • -Look at that face. Are you idiots, ABC? -(AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDING)

  • Let me just say this Peter...

  • If you are out there you are and shall forever remain

  • my bachelor, #PETERISMYBACHELOR #HESACATCHELOR

  • Now, Arpaio will honestly do anything for a camera

  • and if you don't believe me

  • watch him sing his favorite song,

  • which, of course, is...

  • Frank Sinatra's My Way, the universal anthem

  • -of assholes everywhere. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • Watch him sing it for a documentary film crew.

  • -♪ The record shows ♪ -♪ ("MY WAY" INSTRUMENTAL BY FRANK SINATRA PLAYING) ♪

  • ♪ I took the blows

  • And did it my way

  • Here's something interesting there...

  • when Frank Sinatra heard that he actually climbed

  • out of his grave,

  • walked 400 miles to Arpaio's house,

  • rang the door bell and simply said... "No."

  • (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • But, what does, "Doing it Arpaio's way," actually mean?

  • Because Trump didn't just pardon him, he touted Arpaio's support

  • on the campaign trail, even having him speak

  • at the Republican convention.

  • So, Trump clearly doesn't seem to have any real problem

  • with Arpaio's way.

  • And for the record, it is far more that just

  • the eye-catching circus that you've seen so far,

  • and many people were affected.

  • Maricopa County where he was the Sheriff until just last year

  • contains over four million people.

  • That's a higher population than that of 24 states.

  • And conditions in his tent city weren't just eccentric,

  • they were appalling.

  • Temperatures there could rise as high as 145 degrees.

  • Food was limited to two meals a day.

  • And then, there was this...

  • REPORTER 8: Chinese law enforcement officials

  • drop in for some tips from Joe, who just brushed up

  • on his Mandarin.

  • -I hear China very tough on criminal. -Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

  • -Correct? -Uh-huh. Yeah.

  • -I'm asking them, in China... -WOMAN: Yes.

  • "Do they put women on a chain gang?" -WOMAN: Yes. Yes.

  • -No. -JOE ARPAIO: Uh, thank you. I am still...

  • -the first in the, in the world! -(WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE)

  • Yes. Arpaio actually put women on chain gangs.

  • So, I guess, #FEMINISM?

  • (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • I-- It's a grey area.

  • And look, remem-- remember Arpaio operates jails,

  • not prisons, and jails...

  • are typically for people serving sentences of less than a year

  • or even just awaiting trial,

  • which is not to say that anyone should be subjected to

  • some of Arpaio's treatment.

  • At one point, he actually installed web cams in the jail,

  • one of which showed female inmates using the toilet,

  • which wound up being linked to by pornographic sites.

  • And while the cameras were eventually pulled,

  • the Sheriff's office defended themselves

  • with their lawyer saying, "They did not show the

  • private part of any inmates," and...

  • "...no juveniles would have been displayed

  • unless they 'look older and lie to us.'"

  • -(AUDIENCE GASPING) -And just spare a thought there for the attorney who

  • went all they way through years of law school

  • only to have to tell a reporter,

  • "Don't worry the women we broadcast taking a shit

  • were probably all adults."

  • And Arpaio seemed routinely impervious

  • to criticism of any of his tactics.

  • I have not received many negative comments,

  • other than the, uh, Justice Department

  • or Amnesty International or the Civil Liberties Union.

  • -Yes, Joe... -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • but those are the three key groups who might criticize you

  • over mistreating prisoners.

  • So, you just went three-for-three on that one.

  • You're not going to get complaints from Carl's Jr.,

  • -the Girl Scouts, and Hootie and the Blowfish. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • That's not what those groups do.

  • So, is it frankly,

  • any wonder that when a reporter asked inmates,

  • whether Arpaio had any nicknames,

  • one responded "Hitler" while another responded "Hitler."

  • -And that-- -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • That is a charge that he's defended himself

  • against by saying,

  • "My daughter has adopted children of various ethnicities.

  • I got a black, a Mexican with Down syndrome even.

  • And yet I'm the racist, I'm the fascist,

  • I'm the Hitler."

  • And look, I'm not gonna argue with him on that one.

  • That is just sound logic right there.

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -That is why when you play the board game

  • "Guess Who's The Hitler,"

  • the first things you ask to narrow it down are,

  • "do their daughter got a black?

  • And "do their daughter got a Mexican with

  • with Down syndrome even?"

  • Because if their daughter got those,

  • they can't be the Hitler. It's right there in the rules.

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) -And look, look...

  • Arpaio's jails weren't just tough and humiliating,

  • they were sometimes deadly.

  • Over the years, the county has paid out

  • multiple large settlements

  • to families of inmates who've died

  • following incidents in his facilities,

  • including over $8 million to the family of Scott Norberg,

  • who died in custody after being restrained, shot and beaten by guards.

  • And when one officer tried to warn two other guards

  • that the inmate was in dire trouble,

  • their response was chilling.

  • I told him that he was turning blue or purple,

  • and that he was breathing,

  • and he said, "who gives a fuck?"

  • ATTORNEY: After, uh, Speidel

  • responded to you, "Who gives a fuck,"

  • and you warned Officer Gurney, what did Mr. Gurney say?

  • They said just, "Who gives a shit?"

  • Look, you can't see someone dying

  • and say, "who gives a shit?"

  • You can't even see something dying and say that,

  • with of course the sole exception of orchids,

  • because really, who gives a shit?

  • They're-- they're high maintenance little flower cocks,

  • -and they all deserve to die. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • Now, now I should tell you the justice department

  • declined to prosecute that case

  • and both Arpaio and the offices insisted they did nothing wrong.

  • In fact, Arpaio was so unapologetic

  • that both officer "who gives a fuck"

  • and officer "who gives a shit" were later promoted,

  • presumably to lieutenant "whatever, asshole,"

  • and sergeant "zero fucks given."

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -And that promotion,

  • the problem is, that promotion sends a pretty clear message

  • to Arpaio's staff. Almost as clear a message

  • as a president pardoning the man who oversaw all of this.

  • And remember, Arpaio wasn't just in charge of jails.

  • He was also a law enforcement officer.

  • Though his respect for the law seemed awfully selective.

  • Now, over the years, his office repeatedly launched criminal cases

  • against his perceived enemies, be they county officials

  • or even judges,

  • some of which were so shockingly flimsy

  • they were dismissed or thrown out.

  • One civil suit that he brought turned out to be so baseless

  • it was actually cited in the disbarment

  • of the attorney who brought it,

  • with a member of the disbarment panel saying

  • it was "nothing short of fumbling with the law,

  • like children wielding a buzzing chainsaw."

  • Which is not only an amazing statement,

  • it's also actually my favorite Precious Moments figurine.

  • (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • And for America's toughest sheriff,

  • Arpaio seemed to let certain crimes

  • fall through the cracks.

  • In 2011, it came out that his department

  • had failed to properly investigate more than 400 sex-crimes,

  • some of which involved children.

  • And while Arpaio eventually admitted to that,

  • his apology left a lot to be desired.

  • If there were any victims out there,

  • I apologize, uh, to those victims,

  • if there were any.

  • -Hold on. If there were any? -(AUDIENCE GASPING)

  • There were, we know that.

  • That is a casual indifference to overlooking sex-crimes

  • so egregious, I am genuinely surprised that Penn State

  • -hasn't erected a statue of him. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • And amazingly, here's the amazing thing...

  • None of what you have just seen, not the conditions,

  • not the deaths, not the baseless charges against his critics

  • has anything to do with why he was convicted and needed a pardon.

  • That stems from racial profiling,

  • which his department has been repeatedly accused of

  • over the years. And one huge investigation

  • made some really troubling allegations.

  • REPORTER 9: A three-year investigation by the justice department

  • found what it called "unconstitutional policing,

  • and a pervasive culture of discriminatory bias against Latinos

  • who are up to nine times more likely than whites

  • to be stopped by a Maricopa County deputy."

  • In one incident cited in the federal report,

  • a Hispanic driver was incarcerated for 13 days

  • before his citation was dismissed

  • for not using his turn signal."

  • Think about that.

  • Thirteen days for a turn signal infraction.

  • And that is in Arizona,

  • where an old person driving with their turn signal on

  • -is literally their state seal. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • And not surprisingly, in 2011, a lawsuit alleging

  • his department had a patent of racial profiling

  • resulted in this.

  • A federal court in Phoenix has decided Arizona authorities

  • cannot arrest people suspected of being illegal immigrants

  • solely because of their appearance.

  • WOMAN 2: If Arpaio does not comply with the court ruling,

  • Arpaio could ultimately be held in contempt of court

  • and face jail time.

  • You'll never guess what happened.

  • -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -Arpaio did not comply with that court ruling.

  • In fact, over the next 18 months,

  • his office detained at least 171 people without charge

  • and turned them over to Immigration Enforcement.

  • And last July, a federal judge found Arpaio guilty of criminal contempt.

  • And at that point, he was a criminal.

  • He had committed and was convicted of a crime,

  • you know, the thing that the people he puts in tents and pink underwear had done.

  • And which he felt meant that they had forfeited

  • any right to complain. He had done that.

  • And he hadn't even been sentenced

  • before Trump started hinting at a pardon,

  • for a frankly incredible reason.

  • Was Sheriff Joe convicted for doing his job?

  • -That's what... -(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

  • You know what? I'll make a prediction,

  • I think he's gonna be just fine, okay?

  • (CHEERING)

  • But here's the thing there.

  • He absolutely was not "just doing his job."

  • He was also doing something illegal.

  • You wouldn't say that John Wayne Gacy

  • was "just doing his job,"

  • even though he was by all accounts

  • -a pretty good birthday clown. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

  • It's the stuff he was doing on top of that

  • that needed addressing.

  • And yet, and yet, I do not doubt

  • that Trump thinks that everything Joe Arpaio did

  • was or should be part of a law enforcement officer's job.

  • And that is the real problem here.

  • That is why this pardon is a slap in the face

  • to Latinos that Arpaio and his department

  • unconstitutionally targeted,

  • and that is why it's a slap in the face

  • to the very rule of law itself.

  • Because Arpaio broke the rules he was sworn to uphold.

  • Rules that are put in place to protect citizens

  • from a government going out of control.

  • And Trump giving him a pass

  • after everything that you have seen tonight

  • and saying he was "just doing his job"

  • is a loud confirmation that at least as far as this White House is concerned,

  • for the next few years

  • law enforcement won't necessarily be expected

  • to do their jobs the way the Constitution

  • or the courts say they should.

  • Instead, like Sheriff Joe Arpaio,

  • they should absolutely feel free to do their job...

  • um, what's the term?

  • My way

  • -Yeah. -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Presidential Pardons...

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