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  • We're gonna talk about the media,

  • specifically, one increasingly influential member of it,

  • Alex Jones,

  • the Walter Cronkite of shrieking batshit gorilla clowns.

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • And I know you may be thinking,

  • there is nothing more I need to know about Alex Jones.

  • Because you've probably seen crazy clips like this.

  • ALEX JONES: What do you think tap water is?

  • It's a gay bomb, baby.

  • And I'm not saying people didn't naturally

  • have homosexual feelings. I'm not even getting into it.

  • You think I-- (GUFFAWS) I'm like shocked by it,

  • so I'm up here bashing it because I don't like gay people?

  • (YELLS) I don't like 'em putting chemicals in the water

  • that turn the friggin' frogs gay!

  • Do you understand that?

  • (GRUNTS) Crap!

  • Wow. If he is that upset about a government conspiracy

  • that is not happening, just imagine how upset

  • he's gonna be when he finds out about one that is actually is.

  • Like the fact that the government

  • is turning raccoons bi-lingual.

  • Oh, that's right, they're all fluent in French now

  • and they will be working that into conversation.

  • And that famous clip is by no means and outlier.

  • Jones is a charismatic performer who gets charged up

  • on a regular basis, so there are plenty

  • of lesser known outbursts like this...

  • My spirit is close than evil and I feel it

  • and my whole spirit just goes... (SCREAMS)

  • They call that crazy, that's not crazy,

  • that's my will, my human spirit saying,

  • "Crush those that would hurt the innocent!

  • Go after the enemy, build a civilization,

  • be honorable!

  • Crush the snakes under your feet!"

  • Well, at least now we know what Friday Night Lights

  • would've looked like if they'd given Coach Taylor

  • -a nasty PCP habit. -(CROWD LAUGHING)

  • Go after the enemy!

  • Crush the snakes under your feet! (SNIFFS)

  • Clear ice, full house. I've got the snakes everywhere!

  • Stop those snakes, motherfuckers. (SCREAMS)

  • (CROWD CLAPPING AND CHEERING)

  • Now look, ideally, ideally, the first thing you should know

  • about The Alex Jones Show, is nothing.

  • But, unfortunately, it is an important part

  • of a lot of people's media diets.

  • An estimated six million people listen to his radio show

  • or watch it online every week,

  • and we know at least one Jones fan seems to be

  • current Russian Ambassador to the United States,

  • -Donald Trump. -(CROWD LAUGHING)

  • He-- he supposedly called Jones after the election,

  • has tweeted content from Infowars and one of its editors

  • and just a year and a half ago, even appeared on his show.

  • TRUMP: I just wanna finish by saying,

  • your reputation's amazing. I will not let you down.

  • You will be very, very impressed, I hope

  • and I think we'll be speaking a lot.

  • The only thing that could've made that moment any grosser

  • is if Nigel Farage, Bill Cosby and Phil Spector

  • -were all on the same call. -(CROWD GROANING)

  • So look, it is no wonder that Jones has been getting

  • a lot of coverage, recently.

  • We even mentioned him on our first show of the season,

  • back in February and in his response to it,

  • he seemed a little annoyed with me.

  • Your ratings are in the toilet, you're a joke,

  • they brought you back, revamped...

  • out of the gate, to attack yours truly.

  • After you lectured us that Donald Trump

  • could never win, over and over again,

  • as you know, you're the intellectual,

  • everybody knows a British accent is intellectual.

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • You know, there's no facts behind it.

  • And now, you make fun of me out of context,

  • and I'll go, "Look at this loon!"

  • Hey boy, people want legitimacy, they want real.

  • They want to hear somebody that can speak to 'em

  • and touch 'em inside.

  • -(CROWD GROANING) -Okay, okay, I--

  • A few things there. One, don't call me boy.

  • And two, my British accent does not sound intellectual.

  • Believe me, I sound like a chimney sweep

  • passing through a wood chipper.

  • But-- but I will give him this, Jones is right,

  • that too often, people don't present him in his full context.

  • So tonight, we are going to do that,

  • and let's first set aside the key context,

  • that Alex Jones has repeatedly used his show

  • to fuel speculation that the Sandy Hook Massacre

  • was staged by the government, which has been deeply hurtful

  • for the parents of those children over the years.

  • That is disgusting and should be disqualifying

  • in terms of ever taking him seriously.

  • Sadly, doing things that disqualify you

  • from being taken seriously,

  • doesn't really seem to be much of a thing anymore.

  • But-- but there is a piece of context,

  • you may be less aware of

  • and that concerns the nature of Jones' show itself.

  • It is four hours long,

  • and if you tune into the whole thing,

  • your most shocking discovery might be how frequently

  • and shamelessly he pitches products that he sells.

  • In fact, remember that clip from him earlier,

  • yelling about snakes?

  • Let's just go back to that and play it out a bit.

  • Be honorable! Crush the snakes under your feet!

  • (SIGHS) Get behind me, Satan!

  • (PANTING) Now before I go any further...

  • before I go any further...

  • we gotta fund this operation,

  • we got the very best nutraceuticals out there.

  • I don't know if I can run this for another week or so,

  • we wanna run this through the end of the month,

  • that's like 11 days.

  • 'Cause I don't want it to sell out before more gets in

  • Twenty percent off infowarslive.com,

  • -infowarslive.com. -(CROWD GROANING)

  • infowarslive.com!

  • Woah! That is a hard turn to have to make.

  • (YELLS) The Satan-worshiping deep state globalists

  • are gonna murder you and your entire family!

  • Open your eyes, sheeple, they are coming for you,

  • they're coming for all of us!

  • (CLEARS THROAT)

  • But first...

  • -McGillicuddy's Oatmeal. -(CROWD LAUGHING AND CLAPPING)

  • The perfect way to start your day.

  • And look, that clip is not an anomaly.

  • In one week of recent broadcast on his sight,

  • we found he spent nearly a quarter of the time,

  • either talking about or playing ads for his products,

  • or pointing you to the Infowars store.

  • And if you have never gone shopping on Infowars, you are in

  • for whatever the exact opposite of a treat is.

  • Because there's the kind of survival gear

  • that you would expect alongside more surprising items

  • like organic shampoo, body wash and deodorant

  • as well as products like Combat One Tactical Bath Wipes

  • a ten-dollar pack of moist towelettes

  • that can be used anywhere needed,

  • including the perineal area.

  • Which, if you're wondering, is this region, right here.

  • -(CROWD GROANING) -That's right, Alex Jones

  • is trying to sell you sloppy wet rags for your tait.

  • And-- and when you are done wiping down

  • the area between your genitals and anus

  • with a glorified wet nap...

  • why not pick up a Bill Clinton Rape Whistle?

  • Which, according to Infowars, should be used

  • to let Bill know you're in the crowd

  • and that you know the truth.

  • That truth, by the way...

  • You just spent six dollars on a whistle.

  • Oh, that's right we bought this and by the way our order came

  • with a free "9-11 was an inside job"

  • -bumper sticker... -(CROWD GROANING)

  • ...that we most assuredly did not ask for. And look...

  • radio hosts doing ads is not inherently unusual,

  • but since 2013, Jones has increasingly focused

  • on promoting his own products, which he sells on his site

  • under his Infowars Life brand,

  • particularly, vitamins and nutraceuticals,

  • which I believe are the result of the word, "nutrition"

  • fucking the word "pharmaceutical" from behind.

  • (BED CREAKING)

  • I'm pretty sure that's what it is,

  • but this-- this is a big part of Jones' business.

  • Two thirds of his funding reportedly comes

  • from selling his products and they are a lot of them.

  • And the reason I know that is we bought a whole bunch.

  • Now, let me break them down for you.

  • There is a Super Male Vitality, a Super Female Vitality,

  • "Wake Up America Patriot Blend" coffee, Lung Cleanse,

  • Brain Force Plus, something called DNA Force

  • that cost 120 dollars a bottle,

  • and Child Ease, a herbal blend, which, according to Infowars,

  • is "designed to sooth the mind and bodies of children"

  • which is a profoundly, creepy phase.

  • And then, there is Caveman True Paleo Formula with bone broth,

  • a chocolate flavored drink mix, made from bee pollen, stevia

  • and the dust of chicken skeletons.

  • Now, according to Infowars, it is one of the most popular

  • new health trend in the world today.

  • And by the look on Jones' face, it tastes

  • exactly as good as it sounds.

  • You pour that in on a couple of ice cubes.

  • And folks, it tastes...

  • when it's creamy and thick, I think, better than Ovaltine.

  • And it has got all the bone broth and so much more.

  • This is why, the ancients, they believe were--

  • had such better bones,

  • were so much healthier, you can look it up.

  • This-- you could freeze this and this will be better

  • than, like, bluebell chocolate ice cream.

  • Mm!

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • (LAUGHING) Okay! Okay, I know for a fact

  • that Alex Jones did not enjoy drinking that glass of Caveman.

  • Because, I have got a glass of Caveman, right here.

  • And I can confirm to you that it tastes...

  • (COUGHING)

  • It taste exactly how you imagine a drink would taste

  • that's made from chocolate and domesticated bird corpses.

  • It-- it comes at you in waves.

  • And that is not the only time that Jones has used himself

  • as a guinea pig to sell his own products.

  • And a warning, now, to our younger viewers,

  • the following footage of a man graphically too comfortable

  • with his own body, may be disturbing.

  • Just ten minutes before we taped this,

  • I decided to do this 'cause I haven't done this

  • in a while. We took photos... a year ago,

  • And then again about six months ago

  • and the weight loss is dramatic,

  • already from what happened before.

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • Okay, so you're redder... and you're wearing a belt.

  • The only thing I can discern happened

  • between those two photos

  • is that you walked shirtless in the sun for two hours

  • to a belt store.

  • You-- you could flip those two photos around

  • and the effect would be exactly the same. Also...

  • And look, to be fair to Jones, he does have a medical expert,

  • who consults on many of his supplements,

  • Doctor Edward Group III, who looks like the lead

  • in a Director DVD Kato Kaelin biopic.

  • But he's actually even less impressive than that.

  • Here he is in an Infowars ad

  • explaining the importance of one of the products.

  • GROUP: If you're suffering from abdominal pain,

  • allergies, even like headaches, anemia,

  • weakened immune system, gut problems, depression,

  • hair loss, uh... excess gas,

  • muscle pain, nervousness, I mean, all of these things,

  • if you look at some of these conditions

  • and then us opening up our borders

  • and all the other countries opening up our-- their borders,

  • you're just dealing with a mass amount of parasites

  • or are harmful organisms.

  • You can type in "refugees spreading disease"

  • I mean, the CDC is going crazy right now.

  • Actually, I'm pretty sure that if you type,

  • "refugee spreading disease" into Google and press enter,

  • it just takes you right to the Wikipedia page

  • for xenophobia, which, at the end of the day,

  • is a real time saver for you. But despite the fact

  • that Doctor Group looks like what would happen

  • if Tom Petty was machine washed instead of dry cleaned...

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • ... Alex Jones swears by him.

  • In fact, he's been pretty defensive

  • about Doctor Group's credentials.

  • It doesn't matter you've got degrees from MIT

  • and everywhere else and a bunch of other degrees,

  • the media makes fun of you and says that you're an idiot.

  • -(SIGHS) That's right. -I mean literally they say

  • we cannot sell coffee, it's a fraud.

  • That's right, that's right.

  • I-- I've been a research scientist

  • for a long time, I do have--

  • I am MIT alumni and I can tell you

  • that I do research all the time--

  • Okay, stop.

  • A-- Look, let's break down that "bunch of degrees"

  • Jones mentioned.

  • Group does have a Doctor of Chiropractic degree

  • from Texas Chiropractic College,

  • but, while he listed-- lists all these other schools on LinkedIn

  • we checked and he didn't graduate from any of them.

  • In fact, we asked him and he admits,

  • he does not have an undergraduate degree.

  • And as for whether he's an "MIT alumni,"

  • he only completed a non-degree certificate program there,

  • in fact, just to be sure, we contacted MIT,

  • and according to them, "It is not accurate to say

  • he has a degree from MIT... and calling him an alumni

  • would be inaccurate and misleading."

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • Which does make sense when you think about it.

  • Because this man doesn't look like an MIT alumnus.

  • He looks like a fifth-year senior

  • at the University of Falling Off a Surfboard.

  • So-- so just to clarify Alex,

  • that is what we are making fun of, when we make fun

  • of Doctor Group. Well that, and, the fact

  • that he looks like what would happen

  • if Iggy Pop got "The Rachel."

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • And look! Jones can inflate Doctor Group's credentials

  • all he wants. He says a lot of crazy shit on his show.

  • But it is noticeable that when it comes

  • to selling his supplements, he can sometimes show a caution

  • that is pretty out of character. Just watch him

  • bend over backwards to repeatedly qualify

  • what he says, seconds after he said it.

  • Maybe you've had back pain before,

  • maybe you've had nerves that were cut off.

  • This creates tingling, this-- A lot of people have

  • their feeling come back. I'm not gonna make claims

  • if this research is true. Organically based bio PQQ,

  • but it's not technically organic.

  • (CROWD LAUGHING)

  • The other stuff's synthetic, (INDISTINCT) are lab-made.

  • This is made from organic sources...

  • but the bacteria is GMO.

  • I'll just tell ya up front...

  • but it's not like the super high-tech stuff.

  • It's a bacteria that's just been bred,

  • to be able to then secrete and produce.

  • It's just like beer is bacteria, it's a lot of good bacteria,

  • obviously, but this one--

  • that's how the Japanese do it. But it's bio-identical.

  • This stuff is only found in comets.

  • And in trace amounts in blueberries.

  • (CROWD LAUGHING AND CLAPPING)

  • Wait. Wait.

  • OK, so let's break that down.

  • It repairs nerves but maybe doesn't.

  • It's organic but not really.

  • It contains GMOs, which is bad,

  • except for when he's selling you something

  • and you can only find its ingredients in comets.

  • Oh, and blueberries.

  • And it's the drop off after that last one

  • that is really incredible.

  • You can only find this stuff in dinosaur bones

  • and in trace amounts in Ritz bits.

  • And look, Jones's products don't come cheap.

  • For instance, he sells this one fluid ounce bottle

  • of Vitamin D3 for 29.95.

  • But consumerlab.com, a supplement watchdog,

  • points out that you can buy the same amount of D3,

  • from other sources, for less than four dollars.

  • But Jones will often give you a hard sell.

  • Sometimes, he'll tell you his products are different

  • than the ones that you can find in stores,

  • and sometimes, he'll go even bigger.

  • It is absolutely in the crystalline form,

  • the strongest, you absorb it.

  • So, folks, don't go out to the store and get iodine

  • from, say, one of the big chains.

  • It'll kill you!

  • Woah! Wow! I honestly did not know

  • that you could imply your competition kills people.

  • Four out of five dentists prefer Trident gum

  • and the fifth dentist is dead because he put a piece

  • of Wrigleys in his mouth and that's basically suicide!

  • And to hear Jones tell it... to hear Jones tell it,

  • his products are marked up

  • just enough to keep his business going.

  • As he explained in his recent appearance on,

  • Rationalizing Low Ratings with Megyn Kelly.

  • It may cost 45, 50 million dollars a year, around that.

  • How much money is being made?

  • Well, the money that's made

  • is pretty much put back into things.

  • Okay, so that is remarkable for two reasons.

  • First, 45 to 50 million dollars is a lot of money.

  • And second, Jones would have you believe

  • that every penny they earn is being plowed back

  • into a show that looks like it was filmed on the set

  • of a low-budget porn parody of itself.

  • In fact, as he frequently tells is audience,

  • he needs them to buy more to keep

  • his truth telling crusades solvent and growing.

  • JONES: We need to fund ourselves,

  • and we find ourselves by you buying the products.

  • We're at a shortfall now because of the massive,

  • sustained economic attacks we're under, but the listeners

  • in just two weeks have almost narrowed that gap.

  • I could have to sell my house...

  • to keep this place running three, four months.

  • I could have sponsors every segment.

  • I don't do it. I plug enough to fund things.

  • Fund us, give me the energy

  • and I will attack the enemy.

  • Exactly! It's like an NPR pledge drive

  • for people who hate NPR. Because to listen to Jones,

  • Infowars is perpetually on the edge of disaster.

  • He even has a link on the Infowars store,

  • where you can just give him money,

  • to help fund the fight against tyranny.

  • And contributors have left comments like,

  • "Twenty-five dollars may not be much,

  • but I know every little bit helps."

  • But Jones seems to be doing a bit more

  • than just keeping his head above water.

  • Ex-employees describe a thriving business

  • with one saying, "He can sell 500 supplements

  • in an hour... It's like QVC for conspiracy."

  • And in one of those clips we showed earlier,

  • we noticed he's wearing what looks like a Rolex watch

  • worth around 8000 dollars.

  • Which... cool.

  • And, y'know, as we looked around,

  • we noticed he also seems to have another two different Rolexes.

  • And you know... cooler.

  • And here's the thing, that is honestly fine.

  • He can have fancy watches.

  • There is nothing wrong with him getting paid.

  • I get paid to make this show.

  • But it does fight with his message

  • that he needs you to buy products

  • to help keep his show going. And even Alex Jones

  • seems to be a little self-conscious

  • about that disconnect.

  • But don't worry, he's reconciled it

  • in a truly amazing way.

  • I wear a blue sports coat and a Rolex

  • because it's a symbol of middle-class

  • and humanity having prosperity and promoting human prosperity

  • for respect of empowering humanity

  • and stealing the image of a man in a sports jacket

  • with a Rolex, that is the satanic image.

  • So, I dress as a Satanist,

  • so that I can enter their world and show you

  • that none of it means anything.

  • Oh bullshit!

  • How stupid do you think your audience is?

  • Okay, you bought a Rolex

  • so you could dress up like a Satanist.

  • What are the other two for?

  • And incidentally tormenting the parents of Sandy Hooke

  • should comfortably get you into the satanic club.

  • I believe that's the easy pass to whatever hell's version

  • of the champagne room is.

  • And look, so, at the start of this piece,

  • I promised Alex Jones that I would put his statements

  • in context, because he is right

  • that if you place small clips in isolation,

  • he looks like a loon.

  • But if you play them in context,

  • he looks like a skilled salesman spending hours a day

  • frightening you about problems like refugees spreading disease

  • and then selling you an answer.

  • Remember that gay frog clip at the start?

  • He did a follow-up show, explaining how chemicals

  • were being placed in the water to feminize society

  • and reduce the population,

  • and then immediately segued to this...

  • We shell five different brands of the very best water--

  • water filtration systems out there.

  • They're amazing, they cut out 99.99 percent

  • of the glyphosate, the herbicides,

  • the pesticides, the fluoride.

  • I mean to an untrained eye, it sure seems like

  • he was using the idea of a gay frog

  • to sell his products, which, incidentally is the same mistake

  • -the WB network made. -(CROWD LAUGHING)

  • And-- and listen, listen! I'm not saying-- I'm not saying

  • the only reason Jones is talking about the globalist,

  • systematically feminizing us,

  • is to sell over-priced nutraceuticals

  • so he can buy luxury watches, but if I were saying that,

  • it certainly wouldn't be the stupidest conspiracy theory

  • that you've heard so far, tonight.

  • So, if Alex Jones wants his words in context,

  • this is it.

  • The fact that he happens to sell so many solutions

  • should really re-contextualize how you think

  • about what he is claiming are problems.

  • Think about it like this. How would you feel,

  • if at the end of this segment that may well have made you

  • feel a little dirty, I tried to sell you something

  • to wipe that gross feeling away? Would you question my motives?

  • Well, I certainly hope not,

  • because that's what we are doing right now.

  • (CROWD CHEERING)

  • Come with me. Come with me because I'm proud to say

  • that we've been working with a leading medical expert,

  • and I would like you to meet him right now.

  • Please, please welcome Doctor Ted Group III.

  • -(CROWD CHEERING) -Doctor Ted.

  • Ah, so happy to be here.

  • We-- we're so happy to have you, doctor.

  • A-- and we are-- we are here, the doctor and I, to offer you

  • the John Oliver Moisture Armored Tactical Assault Wipe.

  • The first tactical wipe for use, exclusively,

  • on the perineal.

  • That's right. Uh, for goodness sake,

  • don't use this anywhere else. You're gonna wanna just focus...

  • -Right. -...on this area right here.

  • -JOHN: OK. -DOCTOR: Right here.

  • Now... now... now Doctor,

  • Doctor, how is this going to make people feel better

  • about what they've seen tonight? How...

  • Well my studies show that when you vigorously apply

  • this taint wipe, it causes a sensation

  • that distracts the brain from whatever it had previously

  • -been thinking about. -(CROWD LAUGHING)

  • OK, and again, you've got degrees from MIT,

  • and everywhere else, and a bunch of other degrees.

  • The media makes fun of you and says that you're an idiot.

  • -They do. -(CROWD LAUGHING)

  • Just-- just for the record, you did go to MIT, right?

  • Well I've definitely physically been there.

  • That's... that's essentially the same.

  • That's what I've been telling everybody.

  • Now-- now you can actually buy one of these wipes

  • at infowipes.com for one million dollars.

  • This is real. They are actually available

  • for a million dollars apiece,

  • and don't even think about buying a similar wipe

  • in a store, because those wipes will kill you.

  • Yeah, also, these wipes have the power

  • to heterosexualize frogs.

  • So uh, that's very nice to have,

  • 'cause that's been a real problem

  • -what with all the refugees. -(CROWD GROANS AND LAUGHS)

  • And look-- look, this tactical taint wipe has demonstrated

  • incredible results, hasn't it, Doctor?

  • Absolutely, it sure has.

  • Look at this photo of me.

  • And now look at this photo of me forty-five minutes later...

  • -after applying the taint wipe. -(CROWD LAUGHING AND CLAPPING)

  • You-- you're much redder there.

  • -I'm so much redder! -So much redder!

  • -So disturbingly red! -So much...

  • So, if you want to spend a million dollars

  • on a taint wipe, go to infowipes.com,

  • and if you're thinking, "Well, no one's going to do that,"

  • all I will say is, people pay Alex Jones 45 dollars

  • for a jar of chocolate flavored chicken juice,

  • so anything is fucking possible.

We're gonna talk about the media,

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