What?

One grain of rice?

Yes, that's what I said, one rice.

Hi, guys.

(exclamations of surprise)

Wow, you got some sun.

You noticed.

I can't wait until this glow turns

into a beautiful golden tan.

I think it's a little burnt.

It's all part of my process.

I burn myself really good at the end of summer,

so it turns into a tan that lasts all winter.

I don't think that's how it works.

Yeah.

Guys I do this every year.

I think I know how my body works.

Whoa!

Oh, no!

I thought you were burned before, but your body is

so much worse.

Yeah, you look like the Canadian flag, just red and white.

Thank you.

It's so nice to see where you started from, you know.

No, you're like really burnt.

Does that not hurt?

Yes, that's how I know it's working.

Katie, will you put aloe on my back?

Okay.

Thank you.

(shrieks of disgust)

Oh, good, I'm starting to peel.

That's the next step.

I can't finish, you have to do the rest.

You're molting.

You guys are just jealous.

You're going to be rusty, crusty, pale and dusty in October,

and I'm going to be a golden goddess.

I think I got some in my mouth.

Yes, it's spreading.

It looks like you have golf balls in your face.

Ooh, goody, popping blisters is my favorite part.

(shrieks of disgust)

Once these blisters heal, I'm going to have the sexiest tan.

Oh, God, no!

Stop popping.

I think you need medical attention.

Oh, come on, I'm supposed to trust

the two most pale people in the office.

It's getting worse.

Thank you.

Oh, no!

It has to get worse before it gets better.

You look like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

Oh, goody.

That means it's time to go on the roof and get a top coat.

No!

This is going to be the sickest tan ever.

(screaming)

Hi, I'm Cynthia from College Humor.

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And now for a wipe breakdown.

Star wipe.

Diamond wipe.

Venetian wipe.

Iris.