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  • Well, it's a Sunday and I'm at Parque Pilares.

  • This is a popular place for people to get together

  • and play pick-up games.

  • Mexicans pride themselves

  • on being the very best at futbol.

  • Well, this gringo's here to school them.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I'm going to arrive an unknown and leave a legend.

  • Ola. Hola, how are you?

  • Ola. Hola, how are you?

  • Como estas, I'm fine.

  • How are you?

  • Do you have any questions for me about my abilities?

  • Yeah, how good are you?

  • Well, I played once in summer camp, 1974.

  • Okay, that was a long time ago.

  • Well, relatively if you're thinking about

  • geological history, no.

  • Pretty recent.

  • Have you ever kicked something?

  • I did, I kicked an old man once.

  • I did, I kicked an old man once.

  • And is he okay?

  • Oh, he beat the shit out of me.

  • Ah, okay.

  • (Mexican traditional music)

  • (Conan shouting)

  • I did it!

  • I deflected the ball! (players clapping)

  • Conan! Conan!

  • (Conan shouting)

  • (distorted shouting)

  • I have one question, do you have oxygen in a tank?

  • No.

  • Guys, I feel guilty.

  • I don't feel like I'm helping the team

  • as much as I should.

  • We know that. You know that?

  • Yes.

  • Es posible, can I please go and get a friend

  • to help our team?

  • Is that okay? Oh please.

  • Yeah, sure.

  • I'll be right back, stay right here.

  • Okay.

  • (audience cheering and applauding)

  • Oh!

  • Oh!

  • Giovani!

  • Giovani!

  • (applauding)

  • Wow!

  • This is my friend.

  • He says he plays a little bit of futbol.

  • Giovani, do you know these guys?

  • How are you, my friend?

  • Giovani.

  • So you're on my team. Yes.

  • Right? Yeah.

  • And we go against the other team.

  • And maybe we do a little better this time.

  • Okay, yeah.

  • What do you think?

  • You okay with it? I'm perfect.

  • You're perfect? Let's do it.

  • What's the plan?

  • What do you want me to do?

  • Yes!

  • (laughing)

  • Giovani, Conan O'Brien.

  • Conan!

  • Gio.

  • Gio!

  • Goal!

  • Goal!

  • Yes! Yes! Yes!

  • Conan, Conan, Conan!

  • Goal!

  • (audience cheering and applauding)

  • What did you learn from me today

  • when playing football?

  • To you? Yeah. What skills?

  • You saw some of my tricks.

  • What did you learn?

  • I think your first touch, great.

  • First touch,

  • my first touch is great. Your first touch is great.

  • People will say-- And also

  • I'm agile like a cat, el gato.

  • They call me el gato. El gato, yeah.

  • El gato.

  • You brought so much joy today here

  • to everyone who plays.

  • Thank you so much.

  • Thank you.

  • I have a jersey, a Mexican Jersey for you.

  • Oh wow look at this! Mexican jersey.

  • Look at this! (cheering and applauding)

  • Thank you for coming to my country.

  • Oh my God.

  • And look at that, they put my name on the back.

  • I will wear this. You have to wear it.

  • When we play against United States?

  • Yes. You have to wear it.

  • I will wear this. Okay?

  • I will wear this and I will play on your team.

  • Do you want that?

  • Perfect.

Well, it's a Sunday and I'm at Parque Pilares.

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