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  • Welcome to the story of my life.

  • What up everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman, and I work very hard.

  • Straight up, like I make two comedy videos a week, I daily vlog, auditions, shoots, writing, meetings, calls, showering.

  • It's a lot, I'm a hustler!

  • What up t-shirt reference!

  • Now that I've got that out of the way, let me tell you all of my lazy habits.

  • Number one, cleaning make-up brushes.

  • Now apparently, you're supposed to do this more than once a year.

  • Yeah, I don't know.

  • Like I'm pretty busy doing other things, like hiding in a bush in Fortnite and complaining about my acne.

  • And a good make-up brush costs like $50, like am I right.

  • I know all the makeup gurus are gonna be like $50?

  • That's a steal!

  • But no, for me, fifty dollars for a good make-up brush.

  • Fifty dollars for a brush, like is it Laurel, is it Yanny, no, it's neither, it's a scam.

  • You're telling me, I'ma buy this expensive brush, and then I have to groom and bathe said brush?

  • For that price, the brush should be giving me a shower.

  • Just like yo, not only will you do my blush, okay, you gonna do my blush, shave my legs, and then make me a hot cup of ginger tea.

  • Not to mention, I don't even know how to properly clean a make-up brush without ruining it's bristles,

  • Like it starts like this and I wash it and it's like...

  • Like can't I just rub it against a tic-tac and call it a day?

  • Or, do I now gotta buy a brush cleaner, for the fifty dollar brush, it's madness I tell you!

  • So yeah, for sure my make-up brushes, are fugly.

  • Every day, hundreds of make-up brushes are left dirty.

  • Sweat.

  • Foundation.

  • Blush.

  • Infested with germs.

  • Neglected.

  • Used.

  • And abused.

  • It's been nine months since I've been washed.

  • I used to be pink!

  • What the f man, why do I keep breaking out?

  • Number two, wearing sunscreen.

  • You see, I have an issue here, okay,

  • I can't accept the fact that I spent most of my childhood, singing a song to Mr. Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, and now as I've grown up, you have the audacity to say that you're gonna burn my skin?

  • And I need protection from you?

  • Nah-uh, okay, I have decided to unstan.

  • Because here's the thing about sunscreen, right, it's annoying, and it's a especially annoying if you have brown skin.

  • Pourquoi? (French) You ask?

  • Because since the beginning of time, sunscreen has never mixed in well, or efficiently with my brown skin.

  • Let's go, you're gonna miss the bus.

  • Yeah, one sec.

  • You missed the test.

  • One sec.

  • Goodnight.

  • One sec.

  • Not to mention, it's super greasy looking, and feeling.

  • Finally!

  • And whenever I do wear sunscreen, it ends up making my brown skin look purple.

  • Although side note, I will say that I found a new product, that is actually dope, and not whack.

  • So Olay hit me up and sent me this whip's product, and they said it was gonna be a sunscreen that works with my brown skin, and I was like, are you sure?

  • So I gave it a test drive on my recent trip to Mexico, and I'm gonna admit, no bs, this is dope!

  • So in this one instance, I'm gonna stop being lazy, and actually use this product, and wear sunscreen, but every other example in this video, no.

  • Okay I'm gonna make the same mistake, and then just deal with the consequences.

  • Thank you, godspeed.

  • Number three, updating my computer.

  • Here's the issue with computer updates right, is they give me the opportunity to procrastinate on a silver platter.

  • How are you gonna expect me, me, to make the right decision when you're so easily presenting me with an option to do this task tomorrow.

  • Like, is this your first day on Earth?

  • Have you never met a human?

  • You're giving us way too much credit.

  • Because of course I don't wanna do this right now, no one wants to do this right now.

  • It's annoying, you gotta click the thing, load the thing, and the thing that does the thing, and then you gotta restart the whole thing.

  • No thanks, I'm for sure gonna do this tomorrow, when I'm a better and more patient person, get outta here.

  • Can I borrow your laptop for a sec?

  • Yeah, sure.

  • Thanks.

  • Let me just minimize MSN Messenger, sorry.

  • And close Paint, I was working on something, cool.

  • Oh, you know let me just minimize Napster too, so it doesn't slow it down.

  • There you go.

  • Why don't you just update your computer?

  • Oh no I am, tomorrow.

  • The internet isn't working.

  • Huh?

  • Oh, sorry.

  • Oh, he got a phone call, sorry I have to start it again.

  • Okay until tomorrow I'm fine playing solitaire on Windows 95.

  • Honestly some of the best days are when I won solitaire, you know what I'm talking about?

  • Those cards with the little screen like (whirring).

  • You know, honestly that was lit.

  • Number four, washing my face.

  • Okay, I promise, I'm going to wash my make-up before I sleep.

  • I promise, I'm gonna wash my make-up before I sleep!

  • I promise, I'm gonna wash make-up sleep.

  • I promise.

  • I am for sure going to wash my make-up before I sleep.

  • Damn it.

  • I just think it's unrealistic, for the universe to think that I'm gonna go through a day, potentially filled with nonsense and tomfoolery, and then come home with enough capacity and energy to wash my face.

  • That's insanity!

  • My pores need to take several seats.

  • Rather, evolution just needs to smarten up and find a way to expel my make-up from my face.

  • After a long day, like I just come home, and my make-up just...fireballs (whooshing) just off my face, just and just fake-lash fireball.

  • Not to mention the horrible combination of being lazy, but then also loving white linens.

  • What kind of sick joke is this?

  • Like if you ever need a stunt double, for any of my videos, just use my pillowcase.

  • Ugh, the heck man, why do I keep breaking out?

  • Why do I keep breaking out?

  • Honestly it remains a mystery.

  • Yo shoutouts to Olay for making this video possible, straight up, if you wanna dope sunscreen and facial moisturizer, get this.

  • Cause it worked under my make-up, didn't leave me greasy like a samosa, and didn't turn me into Barney.

  • SPF 25 son!

  • Otherwise, make sure you subscribe, because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday!

  • One love Superwoman, that is a wrap, and zoop!

Welcome to the story of my life.

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