We've been here for like half an hour,

Excuse me, but I'm a sandwich artiste

Now if you've got a problem with it take your ass down the McDonald's. It's right around the corner.

Yes. Okay. I'll talk to you later.

Okay

So what I'm gonna need are two Parmesan hot bread six inch subs with extra Italian

one rat sized nibble of cheese baked onto two half palms of lettuce, dashed with sweet pepper spritzed with hand pressed authentic olive oil.

Filled with Swedish roast beef fused with another six inches of the Sun veggie vegan veterinarian style brought down from the Himalayas by a well mannered Sherpa named Gogu.

OK...Eh...

You want a six-inch Pakistan?

What ?

Every subway smells the same.

-Hi, um, I'd like a salad, please. -Okay. What kind of bread?

-No, a salad. -Right, what kind of bread?

None, a salad!

Right, what kind of bread option?

(PLEASE TAKE OFF HEADPHONES)

A SALLAAAAAAD---

SUBWAY IS THE BEST 'CAUSE IT'S FRESH

-All right, man, you're all set. Eat fresh! -I'm sorry

-It's our slogan, Eat fresh! -I should eat fresh? So you're telling me to not eat this sandwich

No.

-Why does all your bread look sad? -Doesn't matter, it's fresh!

Greeting sir or madam, so I'm trying to eat healthier now, so that's why I'm here at Subway today.

-Do you have whole wheat bread? -Of course we do! -Perfect!

I'll get two foot-long meatball subs with double Provolone and an extra row of meatballs and the largest Coke that you have.

And then instead of chips, can I instead get a three foot long party sub dunked in mayo?

-You look fresh. What's your name? -Subway

I SAİD A SALAAAD!

WHAT KIND OF BREAAAD?!?!

NO BREAAAD! JUST VEGETABLES IN A BOWL

What...

Wait uhh Bread Bowl ?

NNNNNOO---

How many types of bread do Subway's sell?

-Lettuce and tomato? -Yes, please. And could I also get spinach,

cucumbers, onions both the white and the purple please

Oh oh pickles and

bell peppers, cheese both shredded and sliced obviously. -Sweet. Is that it?

Oh I'm sorry, uh, could I get a little more lettuce, please?

Give me more lettuce. Just just a little, a little more lettuce, please, please sir. Am I gonna have to call your manager?

I want more lettuce. Perfect. Just wrap it on up and I'll be on my merry way.

-All right, there you go. -Thank you, sir. -Eat fresh.

Could I actually get my 12-inch cut into six two inches and then those cut in half into one inch one inches.

Great now put all the vegetables into the bowl.

Wow! So it's only vegetables.

-Yes. A salad. It's perfect. Thank you. -You're welcome. So would you like this toasted?

No!

How long would you like this toasted for?

I like subs; I'm not talking about subtraction.

I've got every single one. Pokemon, not STDs.

-Hi, I would love a cup of broccoli cheddar soup. -Oh my god!

-She's here! -The chosen one! -The day finally came! No one ever buys our soup!

-It would be my honor to serve you soup, my dear lady. -Yes!

We only have chicken noodle soup today.

Ah Tuesdays broccoli cheddar day

I'm so sorry. We've let you down, our chosen one.

-See you in the next life, dear friend. -In the next life, dear friend.

(SCREAM)

Oh wait, why isn't it burning?

I don't know, did we forget to plug the soup in?

-We haven't had it plugged in in years. We discontinued it in like 2008. -Oh my god. I guess it's just been sitting there.

-Weird. -Okay in that case, I will just get a salad. -For sure. What type of bread?

Thank you guys so much for keeping freaky-freaky-fresh with us.

Click the but on the left to watch every McDonald's ever and click the bus on the right to watch every church ever.