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  • You're finally meeting his family of eight

  • over a home-cooked meal big enough for 30...

  • when you need to bake a kiester casserole.

  • *stomach grumbles*

  • *silverware falling*

  • Hi, uh. Where is the restroom?

  • Uh, it's right behind you.

  • Right behind me? Oh...

  • That is convenient.

  • Now, what do you do?

  • He's really hot.

  • Most of the time I get real big troll.

  • I need you, help me out.

  • *aerosol spaying*

  • *stomach growling and toots*

  • Oh my gosh.

  • What did I do?

  • What did I eat?

  • *toot*

  • Oh no!

  • After you answer Mother Nature's booty call, you fill the air with synthetic citrus,

  • hoping the scent of last night's burrito

  • won't follow you back to the table.

  • Ooouugh, that was a bad choice.

  • *coughing*

  • They're going to know my secrets.

  • And they're gonna hate me. And I'm never gonna find love.

  • Maybe more, maybe more, oh maybe more.

  • Oh come on. Come on.

  • And everyone's going to be married with kids

  • And I'm going to be a lone lady with cats.

  • *toilet flushing, coughing*

  • *commotion*

  • Smells like, diaper gravy!—Smells like uh,

  • It's got some fruit notes. Is, is it shitrus?

  • I can taste it!

  • It's atomic!

  • It's, it's stingingWe need to go!—It's stinging. I can, I can...

  • It's burning.—I can see it!

  • My eyes. It's in my eyes.

  • She ruined my dinner!

  • *sobbing*

  • *crickets chirping*

  • *girl makes ring noises*

  • Oh, this is really important. I better take this.

  • You tuck turtle head back in its shell

  • and toot, scoot and boogie to the backyard.

  • You pop a squat and push it. P-p-push it real good.

  • And just when you think

  • you've gotten away with your rectal ruse...

  • *sigh*

  • Pleaseplease.

  • I, I won't tell if you don't tell.

  • *laughs*

  • No deal!

  • Why?

  • Why can't you be a nice grandma

  • that bakes pies and knits sweaters.

  • *spritz, spritz, spritz*

  • Please, excuse me.

  • Before you pass the chocolate delights,

  • you spritz the bowl with Poo~Pourri.

  • *toot, sigh*

  • Nice.

  • Whew!

  • Mmm, yeah.

  • That was a good one,

  • but it smells good too.

  • You did so good.

  • I just pooped and it smells fabulous. Yeah!

  • Bring it down. Bring it down. Down town. I did, right?!

  • Yeah. Yeah!

  • *toilet flushing*

  • All they'll be able to smell is an

  • appetizing blend of natural essential oils.

  • Oh, that's heavenly.

  • I don't remember putting a

  • lemon meringue pie in the oven.

  • Whatever that smell is I want to eat it,

  • right now, with my mouth.

  • It smells like sunshine!

  • And fruit loops!

  • Very nice blend.—Marry this one man.

  • I mean, she poops pies.

  • Am i right? —Just like me.—Just like you!

  • Winner winner, burrito dinner.

  • Control the shituation with Poo~Pourri...

  • the Before-You-Go Toilet Spray that creates a

  • film on the water's surface that actually traps odor

  • before it begins.

  • If your poo stinks,

  • Click here to get your Poo~Pourri today at PooPourri.com

  • Poo~Pourri.

  • When the glasses clink, don't ruin the party with a stink.

You're finally meeting his family of eight

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