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  • (Pacman eating pacdots)

  • (Ian) SHUT UP!

  • (video game: jumping and meowing)

  • This game is so unrealistic!

  • Nobody with a cat outfit would have cat powers!

  • How would you know? Have you ever tried it?

  • Uh, yeah!

  • Whatever, video games would still suck if they were realistic!

  • IF VIDEO GAMES WERE REAL 3

  • PORTAL

  • (snickering)

  • Aaaah! I'm such a genius!

  • MASS EFFECT

  • Commander Shepard, we have to act fast!

  • The reapers are coming!

  • What should we do?

  • SAVE GALAXY--------BANG HER

  • We'll bang, okay?

  • QWOP

  • (grunting idiotically)

  • FARMViLLE

  • (country music)

  • (sighs)

  • Okay, seriously. How the f*ck is this a video game?

  • CALL OF DUTY: GHOSTS

  • -(rapid gunfire) -(Anthony grunting)

  • Shoot the bad guys!

  • (screaming)

  • BATTLEFIELD 4

  • -(repetitive gunfire) -KEEP SHOOTING THE BAD GUYS!

  • NO SHAME!

  • MEDAL OF HONOR

  • (screaming) (repetative gunfire)

  • KILLZONE

  • (screaming) (repetitive gunfire)

  • RED FACTION: ARMAGEDDON

  • FRONTLINE: FUEL OF WAR

  • OPERATION FLASHPOINT COLD WAR CRISIS

  • RESISTANCE: BURNING SKIES

  • FARCRY, DOOM, COUNTERSTRIKE, WOLFENSTEIN, QUAKE

  • OPERATION ARMA ARROWHEAD, TITANFALL, WII FIT U,

  • TOM CLANCY'S RAINBOW 6 PATRIOTS

  • -(screaming) -(rapid gunfire)

  • Hey! Can we do anything other than just shoot bad guys?

  • Hmmm...

  • Nope!

  • (screaming) (rapid gunfire)

  • (Ian joins in)

  • MORTAL KOMBAT

  • (Scorpion groaning in pain)

  • (announcer) Finish him!

  • (grunting)

  • What're you doing?!

  • I'm trying to tear your head off,

  • but it's a lot harder than it looks!

  • Can you just hurry up? I'm starting to get dizzy!

  • Okay, sorry bro!

  • (Sub Zero grunting)

  • Aw, screw it!

  • Let's just go look at Kitana's booooobs!

  • Okay!

  • (both make lecherous noises)

  • (Scorpion) Oooh, boobies!

  • (both groan)

  • (announcer) Boobtality!

  • SUPER MEATBOY

  • (gusts of wind)

  • SLENDER

  • (whimper in fear) Why didn't I just wait till daytime

  • to look for some stupid pages?!

  • -(twigs break) -(Ian gasps)

  • (gasps) AAAAAAH!

  • (high pitched voice) I just wanted to be your friend!!

  • MINECRAFT

  • Okay, so our 100 foot recreation

  • of slave Leia's boobies is almost complete!

  • All we need now is a daylight sensor!

  • Okay, but can you tell me how to craft it?

  • Uhhh, yeah. Lemme just check the Wiki...

  • Hurry up, it's getting dark!

  • I don't want this fricking zombie creeps--

  • Oh, here it is!

  • Okay, so, uh...we need a wood--

  • Uh, okay, like what kind of wood?

  • -Like a stick or a block or a-- -No, it goes across like--

  • -Yeah, that's called a stick! -No, it's not a stick!

  • Okay, I know a stick!

  • YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*CK THIS!!

  • How to craft girlfriend.

  • SURGEON SIMULATOR 2013

  • Dude, what the hell?!

  • Are you drunk or something?!

  • Trust me! I'm a surgeon!

  • [inaudible]

  • (trails off)

  • (whirring)

  • (surgeon grunts)

  • Okay, just need to make a small incision right--

  • Oh! Ooh. My bad, bro.

  • PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES

  • Time to bust out my secret weapon!

  • (grunting)

  • (zombie) Eh?!

  • -Oh, sh*t! -(zombies grunt angrily)

  • AAAAAAH! NOOOOO!

  • -Yeah, I guess-- -That would suck?

  • How did you know what I was gonna say?!

  • 'Cause you always say the same goddamn thing.

  • (cellphone goes off)

  • Oh crap, um...I have to run, dude.

  • I have choir practice.

  • Yeah. Okay, dude, we all know "choir practice"

  • just means going poop in the McDonald's bathroom.

  • It just feels better, okay?!

  • (whining)

  • I'm a grown ass man!

  • I can McPoop whereever I McWant, McBitch!

  • -Whoa! -We'll bang, okay?

  • What?!

  • We'll bang, okay?

  • No! No, no! I don't wanna bang, okay?!

  • No! No! No! Oh...uh...

  • No way!

  • (grunts) Ooh!

  • (grunts) Ha ha! Try to bang me now, biiitch!

  • (laughs idiotically)

  • Hah hah, idiot!

  • Oh...

  • -We'll bang, okay? -WAAAAAAAH!

  • This video was made possible by this show's only [inaudible].

  • Give 'em lots of love, yeah!

  • (gun shot) We just banged, okay?

  • Huh. That wasn't so bad!

  • To see bloopers--

  • (screaming sans gunfire)

  • And a deleted Donkey Kong scene--

  • Eat barrel, Mario!

  • -(Donkey Kong grunts) -(Mario yells)

  • Brutally rip the spine out of the video on the left!

  • To see more If Video Games Were Real episodes--

  • (neighbor) What?!

  • Hey, what the hell are you doing with my stuff?!

  • I'm looking for rupees!

  • AAH! AAH!

  • Savagely destroy the video on the right's face.

  • Oh, look! A subscribe button!

  • You'd better click it till its...face melts

  • off and...blood squirts out of...its ears.

  • And other brutal Mortal Kombat stuff like that.

(Pacman eating pacdots)

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