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  • (Anthony) Smash Brothers Melee is the only real Smash Brothers.

  • (Ian) SHUT UP!!!

  • We start the party out best of friends

  • And you think the fun never ends

  • We used to be tight like brothers

  • By the end, you want to murder each other

  • Go!

  • Remind me again, what the hell's your name?

  • No one put "Samus" in the title of your game.

  • Nice skin tight suit

  • Where is your pole?

  • Might make more dough

  • Without a camel toe

  • Blonde hair and blue eyes don't

  • Detract from your true size.

  • Like Iggy Iz without skills or class

  • But you'll never be a rapper with a flat-ass ass

  • My ass may be flat

  • But don't get caught up on that!

  • You need an outfit switch, bitch

  • You're looking nerdy and fat

  • I'm feeling sexually harrassed

  • By the brown streak on your ass!

  • Blast your ass back to the 80s

  • When you were relevant last

  • (laughs)

  • No one's gonna admit, but it's plain to see

  • You got only in the game

  • 'Cause you give the best down B

  • Your fighting's weak and your moves are sh*t

  • Players only choose you to stare at your tits

  • This ain't a beauty pageant

  • Ain't playing with dolls

  • It's about time to taste these

  • Mega Man balls!

  • We start the party out best of friends

  • And you think the fun never ends.

  • We used to be tight like brothers.

  • By the end, you want to murder each other.

  • Mu-Mu-Mu-Mu-Mu-Mu-Murder each other

  • Murder each other

  • Mur-Mur-Murder each other

  • By-By-By the end, you wanna murder each other

  • Mu-Mu-Murder each other

  • Mu-Mu-Murder each other

  • Go!

  • Look at your cute face, man, I can't fight you.

  • Your game's stupid simple

  • Only little kids like you.

  • How can I fight someone I just wanna hug?

  • Now, run along kid and go catch a bug.

  • Let's get this over quick.

  • I'm dirty--need a bath

  • Filled with all your blood

  • After I murder your ass.

  • I'll start at the top

  • I hear the scalp tastes nice

  • Don't worry, blue eyes

  • I'll just try a little slice.

  • Then after your head

  • Down to your fingers

  • Gobble them up, don't worry, I won't linger.

  • Using my scissors on your scrotum and balls

  • Snip, snippy, snip until a blood river falls.

  • I love the fresh smell of blood on the grass

  • Can't run away 'cause I'm way too fast

  • I'll light you on fire and drench you in gas

  • I'll take a rusty knife

  • And shove it deep inside your ass.

  • (screaming)

  • (voice-over) Defeated.

  • Whoo-hoo!

  • I'm the king, this is my kingdom, so show respect

  • 'Cause you look to me like

  • Some stupid Tron reject.

  • Oops, I leaked a video to TMZ last night

  • Of you making love

  • To your arm cannon fleshlight

  • No, no!

  • Look up "sell out" in the dictionary

  • And see Mario

  • Got your face on everything just like a

  • Nintendo-ho

  • Keep copies of your game in the bathroom

  • For when I need to wipe.

  • Peach always gets kidnapped

  • Because you're too busy

  • Plumbing Luigi's pipe.

  • You try to roll hard

  • Like your name is Donkey Kong

  • But through your girly-ass tights

  • We can see your tiny dong

  • We've been fighting for years

  • Don't need another player.

  • Go run along with SEGA

  • And be another failure.

  • You're a pedo-stached preeny pussy

  • Plumbing f*cking prick

  • On the roster, you're the reject

  • That no one ever picks

  • It ain't my fault you're always losing your chick

  • Sorry!

  • Your princess is in another castle

  • Sucking my ****

  • We start the party out best of friends

  • And you think the fun never ends.

  • We used to be tight like brothers.

  • By the end, you want to murder each other.

  • We start the party out best of friends.

  • And you think the fun never ends.

  • We used to be tight like brothers

  • By the end, you want to murder each other.

  • (Anthony) Hey, guys, thank you so much for watching.

  • If you guys like the new Smash Brothers as much as we do,

  • you should definitely check out our new show on Smosh Games.

  • It's all about Smash Brothers and it's fricking awesome.

  • Click the video on the right to bathe in the glory of Smash!

  • Oh god, Jesus! What's happening?

  • - There's many things happening. - I'm being butt slammed.

  • Whoa-ho-ho, you butt-slammed through the course.

  • (Anthony) And if you wanna see bloopers for this video

  • and this...

  • (groaning)

  • (Anthony) ..click the video on the left.

  • And if you want to get the song on iTunes, all you have to do

  • is click that little album art right there.

  • We start the party out best of friends

  • And you think the fun doesn't end

  • We used to be tight like brothers

  • By the end, you wanna murder each other

  • (Anthony) Oh my god! Is that a Smash Ball?

  • The only way to collect it is by clicking the subscribe button!

  • I can't guarantee it, but click it and maybe you will.

  • [captioned by Subtitle YouTube]

(Anthony) Smash Brothers Melee is the only real Smash Brothers.

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