Name: 【TED】Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge: How our friendship survives our opposing politics (How our friendship survives our opposing politics | Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge)
Uploaded: 2017-11-25T22:22:37.000Z
Duration: 14 min 26 s
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Caitlin Quattromani: The election of 2016 felt different.

Political conversations with our family and friends

that many of us had not previously experienced.

People who we always thought were reasonable and intelligent

We said to ourselves, "How could you think that?

Lauran Arledge: Caitlin and I met in the summer of 2011,

and trying to keep our very energetic boys busy.

And we soon found out we had almost everything in common.

From our love of Colorado to our love of sushi,

We also discovered that we share a deep love of this country

and feel a responsibility to be politically active.

and I soon found out two disappointing things about Caitlin.

LA: So there would not be any joint camping trips in our future.

The second thing is that she's politically active all right --

CQ: I may hate camping, but I love politics.

I listen to conservative talk radio just about every day,

and I've volunteered for a few different conservative political campaigns.

LA: And I'd say I'm a little to the left,

and I worked as a community organizer and on a congressional campaign.

CQ: So as Lauran and I were getting to know each other,

it was right in the middle of that 2012 presidential campaign,

and most of our early political conversations

were really just based in jokes and pranks.

So as an example, I would change Lauran's computer screen saver

or she would put an Obama campaign magnet on the back of my car.

CQ: But over time, those conversations grew more serious

and really became a core of our friendship.

we decided we didn't want to have any topic be off limits for discussion,

even if those topics pushed us way outside of our friendship comfort zone.

political conversations are a zero-sum game.

We go for the attack and we spot a weakness in someone's argument.

we tend to take every comment or opinion that's expressed

as a personal affront to our own values and beliefs.

But what if changed the way we think about these conversations?

When we engage in dialogue, we flip the script.

Instead of coming from a place of judgment,

we are genuinely interested in the other person's experiences,

But getting to that place of true dialogue is hard,

especially when we're talking about politics.

It is so easy to get emotionally fired up

about issues that we're passionate about,

and we can let our ego get in the way of truly hearing

And in this crazy political climate we're in right now,

unfortunately, we're seeing an extreme result

to the point where people are willing to walk away from their relationships.

In fact, Rasmussen released a poll earlier this year

that said 40 percent of people reported that the 2016 election

negatively impacted a personal relationship,

and the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience tells us

that people tend to feel their way to their beliefs

and that when reason and emotion collide,

So no wonder it's hard to talk about these issues.

LA: And look, we're just two regular friends

about politics and the role that government should play in our lives.

And I know we were all taught not to talk about politics

because it's important to us and it's a part of who we are.

CQ: We have chosen to avoid political debate

LA: And this election and all of the craziness that has followed

has given us several opportunities to practice this skill.

Let's start with January and the Women's March.

【TED】Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge: How our friendship survives our opposing politics (How our friendship survives our opposing politics | Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge)

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【TED】Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge: How our friendship survives our opposing politics (How our friendship survives our opposing politics | Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge)

perspective

genuinely

engage

critical