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  • GUILLERMO DEL TORO ON THE WAY.

  • BUT AS WE KNOW, OUR VERY OWN

  • GUILLERMO WAS WITH ME AT THE

  • OSCARS LAST NIGHT.

  • EVERY YEAR BEFORE THE SHOW

  • GUILLERMO GETS A SPOT ON THE RED

  • CARPET.

  • HE ASKS THE TOUGH QUESTIONS, AND

  • HE DOES IT WITH A TANK FULL OF

  • TEQUILA.

  • AND THIS YEAR HE DID IT AGAIN.

  • THIS IS GUILLERMO AT THE OSCARS.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • >> Guillermo: HI.

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS.

  • >> Guillermo: YOU ALWAYS LOOK SO

  • BEAUTIFUL.

  • I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

  • >> YOU ARE?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Guillermo: AND

  • CONGRATULATIONS.

  • YOU'RE NOMINATED TODAY, HUH?

  • >> YES, I AM.

  • >> Guillermo: YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • I WROTE A SPEECH FOR YOU.

  • >> LET ME SEE IT.

  • >> Guillermo: RIGHT HERE.

  • >> SHOULD I PRACTICE IT?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> I'D LIKE TO THANK MY MOTHER

  • AND FATHER FOR MAKING SEX IN A

  • TRUCK SO THAT I COULD BE BORN.

  • I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE SAID

  • IT BETTER MYSELF.

  • THAT IS --

  • >> Guillermo: YOU DID IT --

  • YEAH, YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT.

  • >> SO THAT IF I HAVE TO.

  • >> Guillermo: OKAY.

  • DID YOU WROTE A SPEECH FOR

  • TODAY?

  • >> DID I WRITE A SPEECH?

  • NO, I DIDN'T WRITE A SPEECH.

  • >> Guillermo: HERE.

  • CAN YOU READ IT?

  • >> YEAH.

  • SEE?

  • I TOLD YOU I WAS THE BEST ACTOR

  • IN THE WORLD.

  • SUCK IT, EVERYBODY ELSE.

  • AFTER THE SHOW I KNOW I'LL BE AT

  • THE CABO WABO CANTINA.

  • MEET ME THERE.

  • >> Guillermo: HEY, DANNY, HOW

  • ARE YOU?

  • >> WHAT'S HAPPENING, BROTHER?

  • >> Guillermo: WELCOME TO THE

  • OSCARS.

  • >> THANK YOU, MAN.

  • >> Guillermo: I WANT YOU TO BE

  • HONEST.

  • ARE YOU GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS

  • [ BLEEP ]?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Guillermo: DANNY.

  • GOOD LUCK.

  • YOU'RE SUCH A TENDER LOVER.

  • GOOD LUCK TONIGHT.

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • >> Guillermo: WHO DO YOU WANT TO

  • WIN?

  • >> EVERYBODY.

  • WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE THAT HAPPEN?

  • >> Guillermo: AND WHO DO YOU

  • WANT TO LOSE?

  • >> A FEW PEOPLE.

  • >> Guillermo: HI.

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> HOW ARE YOU?

  • YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

  • >> Guillermo: YOU TOO.

  • YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

  • >> I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME AND

  • PUT YOU ON MY SHELF.

  • >> Guillermo: OH, MY GOD.

  • >> YOU LOOK LIKE OSCAR HIMSELF.

  • >> Guillermo: CAN YOU SIGN MY

  • DVD?

  • THIS IS MY FAVORITE DVD.

  • >> I'M NOT IN IT, THOUGH.

  • >> Guillermo: BUT IT'S OKAY.

  • THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE.

  • LOOK.

  • >> I LOVE THAT MOVIE.

  • >> I'M NOT IN IT.

  • >> Guillermo: YOU'RE NOT IN IT?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Guillermo: BUT CAN YOU STILL

  • SIGN IT?

  • >> NO.

  • >> YEAH.

  • THAT'S ME.

  • >> THERE YOU GO.

  • >> Guillermo: MATTHEW!

  • MATTHEW!

  • MATTHEW McCONAHA.

  • THIS IS MY SECOND FAVORITE

  • MOVIE.

  • >> WHAT'S YOUR FIRST FAVORITE?

  • >> Guillermo: "GREASE."

  • JOHN TRAVOLTA.

  • >> WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING THAT

  • ONE?

  • >> Guillermo: OH, I COULDN'T

  • FIND IT.

  • THEY DIDN'T HAVE IT AT AMOEBA.

  • >> THEY DIDN'T HAVE IT AT

  • AMOEBA?

  • >> Guillermo: YOU ARE SO

  • BEAUTIFUL.

  • >> YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TOO.

  • WE'RE BOTH MATCHING TODAY.

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH, WE ALMOST

  • MATCH.

  • >> WE CAN GO DANCE SALSA AFTER

  • THIS.

  • ARE YOU GOING TO DIP ME?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> ONE, TWO, THREE.

  • THAT WAS SUCCESSFUL.

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> MWAH.

  • >> Guillermo: MWAH.

  • ARE YOU HUNGRY?

  • >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

  • >> Guillermo: OKAY, LOOK.

  • >> A KABOODLE.

  • >> CAN I GET THIS?

  • >> Guillermo: ANYTHING YOU WANT.

  • AS LONG AS YOU TIP ME.

  • >> LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH

  • ON ME.

  • >> HERE.

  • I DON'T REALLY HAVE VERY MUCH.

  • NO, THAT'S OKAY.

  • THAT SEEMS LIKE TOO MUCH.

  • >> Guillermo: THANK YOU VERY

  • MUCH.

  • AND GOOD LUCK TONIGHT.

  • ALL RIGHT?

  • >> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • >> Guillermo: ALL RIGHT.

  • >> HE ACTUALLY TOOK THE MONEY.

  • OKAY.

  • COOL.

  • >> Guillermo: BYE-BYE.

  • DO YOU WANT TO TRY SOMETHING

  • FROM MY SHOES?

  • >> FROM YOUR SHOES?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

  • >> Guillermo: HERE, YOU WANT MY

  • LEFT OR MY RIGHT?

  • MY LEFT IS TEQUILA AND THIS IS

  • WHISKEY.

  • >> Guillermo: THE TEQUILA'S

  • ALWAYS RIGHT.

  • >> [ SPEAKING FOREIGN

  • LANGUAGE ].

  • >> Guillermo: THIS IS YOUR FIRST

  • TIME --

  • >> OH, MY GOD, THAT IS TEQUILA.

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • >> THAT IS TEQUILA.

  • >> Guillermo: OH, MY GOD, YOU

  • LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • YOU WANT TO TAKE ME OUT ON A

  • DATE?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • FOR REAL?

  • >> YEAH, FOR REAL.

  • >> Guillermo: WHEN?

  • TONIGHT?

  • >> NO.

  • NOT TONIGHT.

  • WHAT ABOUT THURSDAY NIGHT?

  • >> Guillermo: THURSDAY NIGHT.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • I'VE GOT TO CHECK MY SCHEDULE.

  • >> CHECK YOUR SCHEDULE.

  • LET ME KNOW.

  • >> Guillermo: YOU KNOW MERYL

  • STREEP?

  • LOOK.

  • >> OH, MY GOD!

  • >> Guillermo: MERYL.

  • MERYL.

  • MERYL!

  • HEY, TELL HER I'M HERE.

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT MERYL

  • STREEP SMELL?

  • >> WHAT SHE SMELL LIKE?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • >> SHE SMELLS LIKE SUCCESS.

  • >> Guillermo: AND ME?

  • >> NO, YOU SMELL LIKE ALCOHOL.

  • WA ARE YOU DRINKING?

  • TEQUILA?

  • >> Guillermo: YEAH.

  • YOU WANT SOME?

  • >> HELL NO.

  • >> Guillermo: WHY?

  • >> BECAUSE I'LL GET PREGNANT.

  • I DON'T WANT TO GET PREGNANT

  • TONIGHT.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> Guillermo: WELL, THERE YOU

  • HAVE IT.

  • I TALKED TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

  • A LOT OF CELEBRITIES DRINK OUT

  • MIFF SHOES.

  • THERE'S A LOT OF GERMS RIGHT

  • HERE.

  • BUT I HAD A FLU SHOT.

  • SO WHO CARES?

  • I'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • >> Guillermo: THANK YOU, JIMMY.

  • >> Jimmy: FIRE THAT THING OFF

  • AGAIN.

GUILLERMO DEL TORO ON THE WAY.

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