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  • One time I was in the checkout line

  • Behind Steven Seagal

  • Once I'm pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill

  • Was in the very next bathroom stall

  • My best friend's brother

  • Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2

  • My neighbour's baby sitter

  • Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue

  • I swear Jack Nicholson

  • Looked right at me at a Laker's game

  • I got a lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster

  • from a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt

  • I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria

  • Well, he sure sounded legit

  • My sister used to take piano lessons

  • From the second cousin of Ralph Nader

  • Last year I threw up in an elevator

  • Next to Christian Slater

  • Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian's

  • Are exactly the same

  • I got a lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • Really lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • Once at a party, my dentist accidentally

  • Sneezed on Russell Crowe

  • I posted first in the comments

  • On a YouTube video

  • I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi

  • But he told me this seat's taken

  • I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy

  • Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

  • I had a car that used to belong

  • To Cuba Gooding Jr.'s uncle

  • A friend of mine in high school

  • Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel

  • One time I was staying in the same hotel

  • As Zooey Deschanel

  • I used the same napkin dispenser

  • As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell

  • I don't mean to brag but

  • Paul Giamatti's plumber knows me by name

  • I got a lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • A really lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • I got a lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • Really, really, really lame

  • Lame claim to fame

  • Ow, let's get lame boys

One time I was in the checkout line

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