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  • - 1Pac, 2Pac, buckle your shoe-Pac.

  • - Let's talk about that.

  • (playful, upbeat music)

  • (fire crackling)

  • - Good mythical morning.

  • - Guess what everybody, we got Post Malone here.

  • Welcome Post.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • - What's going on, guys?

  • You all right?

  • - Welcome to the show, man.

  • - Hey, thanks for having me, man, I'm a big fan.

  • - Likewise.

  • - Yeah, yeah. - Really?

  • - Yeah, I've been watching for four years.

  • - That's crazy.

  • - It's a pretty, I mean, give or take.

  • - Okay, but who's counting?

  • - Give or take four years or so.

  • - Multiple years. - Give or take.

  • - All right, here's what's happening on this episode.

  • Later we're gonna create some Post Malone memes

  • with the man himself, plus we'll be stuffing

  • a Slim Jim inside of a churro.

  • - But first, who the heck is Georgie Porgie

  • and why is he eating both pudding and pie?

  • And how does one acquire a tisket or a tasket?

  • What I'm saying is nursery rhymes are old, outdated,

  • and they make no freaking sense.

  • - Mmhmm, so today the three of us are gonna update

  • some stuffy old nursery rhymes

  • by turning 'em into rap tracks.

  • It's time for

  • Rap-A-Bye Baby on the Hip Hop

  • (goat bleats)

  • - All right, here's how this is going to work.

  • We got a board over here that Chase is manning.

  • We have several different nursery rhymes

  • and then several different rap styles.

  • I see Migos, I see Snoop Dogg, I see--

  • - Who's Post Malone? - Got him.

  • - I see Kanye West, I see the Sugarhill Gang,

  • and I see the Beastie Boys.

  • So we pick a nursery rhyme, we pick a rap style,

  • and then we make it happen.

  • - Mmhmm, and then we're gonna head over to the crib

  • and perform our rhymes.

  • - Got him, let's rock. - Individually.

  • All right, Rhett, you're taller so you are going first.

  • - Oh, thanks.

  • (laughter)

  • It's always helpful.

  • - Pick your nursery rhyme, man.

  • - I've always been a fan of I'm a Little Teapot.

  • Because it's ironic when a big man sings

  • I'm a Little Teapot. - That's nice.

  • - Okay, and then what style are you gonna perform this in?

  • - I think I gotta go with the D-O-double-G, man.

  • Snoop Dogg, I think I can do that.

  • - He's a tall guy. - I think I can handle that.

  • - [Post Malone] Look at the swagger.

  • (laughter)

  • Immaculate.

  • - Hit it.

  • (rap beat)

  • ♪ I'm just a teapot-tizzle

  • Fulla t-zizzle, y'all

  • ♪ I'm a little teapot, short and stout

  • Here is my handle, here is my spout

  • When I get all steamed up, hear me shout

  • Just tip me over and pour me out

  • La-Da-Da-Da-Da

  • ♪ I'm a mother-freakin' teapot fulla tea

  • La-Da-Da-Da-Da

  • Gonna pour some tea outta me

  • - Wow. Incredible.

  • (laughter and applause)

  • Incredible.

  • - Oh, that's pretty good, man, dang.

  • - I'm going on tour later this year--

  • - Can I come? - You wanna open?

  • - Yeah! (laughter)

  • - Okay, I'm gonna choose Hickory Dickory Dock,

  • 'cause why not?

  • - Right, does it really matter?

  • - And I'm gonna perform it in the style of Yeezy.

  • I just got the hours.

  • All right, I'm ready.

  • (rap beat)

  • Uh, uh

  • Hickory dickory dock

  • The mouse ran up the clock

  • The clock struck one

  • And down he come

  • Hickory dickory dock

  • The mouse ran up the clock

  • The clock struck two

  • And look what he do

  • Hickory dickory dock

  • I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce

  • had one of the greatest clocks of all time.

  • (mic drop) (applause)

  • - You just about got your baby.

  • - Wow, that was. - Hit the baby (thump)

  • - right in the head with it. - Very intense.

  • I think Kanye would be proud.

  • - I think it was nice.

  • - Yeah, yeah, he's, you know, sometimes he goes after it.

  • - Well, all the time. - So I had to bring it.

  • - Who's your producer?

  • - Mark.

  • (laughter)

  • - He's talented.

  • - He's sitting right over there.

  • - He's a talented guy.

  • - The tracks are pretty great.

  • - Yeah, the tracks are great.

  • - All right, you're up. - Your turn.

  • - [Link] What song are you gonna pick?

  • - Itsy Bitsy Spider has always been a song

  • that's been very close to my heart.

  • (laughter)

  • - Yeah. You like spiders?

  • - Yeah, I hate spiders.

  • - Small ones? - But the reason why,

  • yeah, exactly, that's why I picked it,

  • because they're small spiders.

  • - Right. - Got it, right, uh-huh.

  • - I'll do it in the style of the classic Sugarhill Gang.

  • We'll go old-school.

  • - Taking it way back.

  • - Yeah, let's rock.

  • - All right. - I'm ready to rock.

  • - Do it.

  • Okay, yeah. - Get hydrated.

  • - Get hydrated. - It's important.

  • - Gotta hydrate. (laughter)

  • Hello, baby.

  • (rap beat)

  • Ooh, I said a hip, hop

  • The itsy, the bitsy spider went down the water spit spout

  • And down-a came all the rain and the washin' the spider

  • The washin', wish-a-washin' away, ooh

  • The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout

  • Down came the rain and washed the spider out

  • Up came the sun and dried up all the rain

  • And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again

  • Hey, ho

  • Hey, ho

  • Ooh, hey, ho, ooh

  • That's it.

  • (laughter and applause)

  • - Wow, everything old is new again.

  • - Wow, bringing back that old school flow.

  • - It's a tough flow to master.

  • (laughter)

  • - That was great!

  • - Nice, nice.

  • - Okay, now you have to go again.

  • - Yes I do.

  • Oh man, what am I gonna do to follow that up?

  • Let's go Mary Had a Little Lamb.

  • - Did she? - Yeah, she did.

  • Always been fond of that.

  • And I don't know how I feel about this.

  • I'm going out on a limb, something that struck me.

  • I'm gonna do it in Post Malone style.

  • - That's nice.

  • Hey, that's pretty easy. - Are you gonna be offended?

  • - No sir, no. - Are you sure

  • you don't wanna let him do his own style later?

  • - Is that an option?

  • - I don't wanna let you do it.

  • (laughter)

  • Okay.

  • - It's a easier style.

  • - It's not like he's not right here.

  • No pressure.

  • - Oh gosh.

  • All right, hit it.

  • (rap beat)

  • Okay.

  • Mary had a little lamb

  • Its fleece was white as snow

  • And everywhere that Mary went

  • The lamb was sure to go

  • It followed her to school one day

  • Which was against the rules

  • Made the children laugh and play

  • To see a lamb in school

  • ♪ 'Til the teacher turned it out

  • But it still lingered near

  • Waited patiently about

  • ♪ 'Til Mary did appear

  • Why does the lamb love Mary so

  • The eager children cry

  • But Mary loves the lamb you know

  • The teacher did reply

  • Yo, that lamb was saucin'.

  • (laughter and applause)

  • - Very, very good.

  • - Hey. - That's pretty good.

  • - Not that these are being judged, but.

  • - I'm upset that I didn't write it.

  • (laughter)

  • - Oh my gosh. Hey.

  • Kudos to you, man. - Yeah, it was very good.

  • - Yeah man. - He was right there.

  • - That was, I'm sweating.

  • - Okay, what-- - Pits are sweating.

  • - Whatever I don't pick you have to do.

  • - Okay.

  • - So is there, I mean, do you want to whisper something

  • in my ear, or what, whatcha?

  • (whispering)

  • (laughter)

  • Okay, okay.

  • Okay. You like farm animals?

  • I get it. (laughter)

  • Okay, I'm gonna choose Hush Little Baby.

  • Beastie Boys.

  • - Ooh. - Hey, that's nice.

  • - Ironic, 'cause the Beastie Boys are kind of loud.

  • (laughter)

  • (indistinct falsetto)

  • - It sounds real, it sounds authentic.

  • (rap beat)

  • Hush little baby

  • Don't say a word

  • Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird

  • And if that mockingbird don't sing

  • Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring

  • Is that what you want

  • Whatcha whatcha whatcha want

  • Is that what you want

  • Whatcha whatcha whatcha want

  • If that diamond ring turns brass

  • Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass

  • And if that looking glass gets broke

  • Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat. ♪

  • If that cart and bull turn over

  • Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover

  • - Wow. (applause)

  • - Are you okay?

  • - I think my voice has changed now.

  • (laughter)

  • - I love how you took on-- - That was pretty incredible.

  • - Two personas.

  • - All right, I left the farm for ya.

  • - Yeah, I guess my options are Old McDonald Had a Farm

  • and in the style of Migos.

  • I think this is a hit already.

  • - Yeah, it's destiny.

  • - Which we met Quavo. - Did you?

  • - And we got a picture with him and he never spoke,

  • he just raised his arm, pointed it towards the camera,

  • we took a picture, and then that was it.

  • - He's a good guy.

  • He's not a man of many words. - No, he wasn't.

  • - I love Quavo, he's a good guy.

  • - All right. Have at it. - I guess I'm ready to rock.

  • Quavo, I hope I do you justice.

  • Offset, Takeoff, hope I do you justice.

  • Hello my little baby boy.

  • I'm sorry Link woke you up,

  • I'm gonna put you right back to bed, don't you worry.

  • (rap beat)

  • Ooh. Yeah.

  • Old McDonald had a farm

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪

  • Ooh, and on this farm he had a cow

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪

  • With a moo moo here and a moo moo there

  • Here a moo, there a moo

  • Everywhere a moo moo moo

  • Old McDonald had a farm

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪

  • Ooh, Old McDonald had a farm

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪

  • And on his farm he had a pig

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪

  • With a oink oink here and a oink oink there

  • There a oink, there, and everywhere oi-oink

  • Old McDonald had a farm

  • ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O, ooh

  • Shoutout to Murda on the beat, you can cut it now.

  • You already know. Got it.

  • (applause and laughter)

  • - Oink oink.

  • - Also a tough flow to master.

  • - Yes, well you did just that. - That was pretty great.

  • - Man, thank you so much. - Oh man.

  • There are no winners and losers here

  • because we're all winners.

  • - We're all a team. - Yeah.

  • - We are kind of like the Migos.

  • - We created some hits.

  • - I often think of us that way.

  • - Slappers.

  • - Like the us version of the Migos.

  • - That's nice.

  • I like it, ever since five minutes ago.

  • - That's right. - Exactly.

  • All right, click on through as we find a way

  • to stuff a Slim Jim inside a churro, because why not?

  • Money can't buy happiness

  • unless smelling good makes you happy.

  • Buy our grooming collection items,

  • like my beard oil, at mythical.store.

- 1Pac, 2Pac, buckle your shoe-Pac.

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