Name: Ellen Has Only an Exercise Bench to Blame for Her Stubbed Toe
Uploaded: 2018-01-19T05:26:26.000Z
Duration: 2 min 40 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

And on top of everything else this weekend, I stubbed my toe.

You know what that's like when you stub your toe, don't you?

Like, on a piece of metal, and I was barefoot and it bled,

and it kept bleeding, and long story short--

So I was hanging a piece of art in the gym,

and by art, I mean a poster of a cat saying hang in there, baby,

like this, but it was framed, so it's nice.

And so I walked into the room and the metal leg

Blinding pai-- I didn't know if it was broken.

I couldn't feel how many toes were involved.

This little piggy went in that direction.

This little piggy-- all the piggies went--

and it was a mess, and the toes don't deserve that.

I need-- I wiggle them, and I use them to walk.

Since-- this is a daytime show, so I will not

repeat the language that I used, but let's just

say that the way that President Trump feels about Haiti,

that's how I feel about my exercise bench.

I said the s-word, I said the f-word, I said the LGBTQ words.

Like I said, when I looked down, my toe was bleeding,

You know, the fancy ones like that you put whiskey

That's the kind of ice I have, and then I took the ice off

and I was still bleeding and I got mad at the exercise bench.

That's what you do, you blame the object.

going to sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

I'm not going to use you for a long time.

You don't to admit that what really happened

the exact same place it's been all along.

and you should always wear a pair of my ED By Ellen shoes.

They're a safety device that can help prevent serious bodily

I'm probably legally not allowed to say that, but--

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Ellen Has Only an Exercise Bench to Blame for Her Stubbed Toe

stick

deserve

applause

purpose