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  • When I found you...

  • Sparks get me going!

  • I saw...

  • raw,

  • untamed power!

  • And beyond that,

  • something...

  • truly special.

  • So... raw, untamed power isn't special?

  • Meh!

  • I see it everywhere these days -

  • it's played out!

  • Porg sausage for tea?

  • This didn't come with a hand attached by any chance?

  • The "Terminator" here chafes like a son-of-a-bitch.

  • Something... inside me has always been there.

  • Can't say the Jedi temple library offers a broad selection.

  • But now it's awake.

  • And I need help.

  • Nothing's jumped out of an egg and face-hugged you, has it?

  • A for effort, Z for results.

  • You didn't even touch the rock that time!

  • I'm sorry, Master. I'm trying.

  • There is no try!

  • There's do and there's epic suckage.

  • Guess what camp you fall into.

  • You break it, you bought it.

  • Master, the pebbles!

  • "Pebbles"? Try lifting an X-wing.

  • I've seen this raw strength only once before.

  • In a mosquito!

  • R2, I left you in charge and now I notice the school's on fire.

  • Something you wanna confess?

  • What's the largest thing you've ever lifted, master?

  • I Force-benched a good fifty kilos in my prime.

  • How much does the Millennium Falcon weigh?

  • It's not a competition, Rey!

  • It does look like a duck.

  • Kill the past if you have to.

  • It's the only way to become what you were meant to be.

  • A self-made orphan.

  • I can't do it!

  • Fire.

  • Wha-???

  • That's for Han, you little emo bastard.

  • Now clean up that debris!

  • I resent that, Shewba-ca!

  • I was not put into this film to sell toys to children.

  • I-- Wait!

  • What's this on the console?

  • "Tickle-Me Porg"!

  • Oh and look - it comes in pink!

  • These don't belong here!

  • But I sure hope my parents buy me something like this for Christmas.

  • I should probably...

  • GO ASK THEM!!!

  • We are the flint that'll strike the spark

  • that'll ignite the tinder that'll start the fire

  • that'll burn part-way through a detachment of the First Order.

  • Is it even worth it?

  • Not at all.

  • Shamone!

  • I'm going to seriously mess you up for throwing me in that trash compactor.

  • You see this?

  • I'm still finding things.

  • This is not going to go...

  • Come on, guys!

  • Don't be afraid of me cos I'm different!

  • ...the way you think!

  • I think the bad guys will win this round,

  • but good will ultimately triumph by the end of the third movie.

  • OK then, it's going to go exactly

  • THE WAY YOU THINK!

  • Did you find my contact lens?

  • Not yet.

  • Well until you do,

  • you'll never be a Jedi.

  • Fulfil...

  • your...

  • Hello, Empire Accident Assist?

  • The planet that bleeds.

  • Yes, I'll hold.

  • Destiny...

  • Oh, Snoke!

  • You are absolutely amazing at giving a full-body Force massage.

  • You do know I'm trying to kill you, right?

  • Well, whatever you're doing,

  • don't stop!

  • I need someone...

  • to show me my place in all this.

  • Once you've had Dark Side,

  • you won't go back.

  • I don't believe it!

  • Another one of my students turning to the Dark Side.

  • You are expelled, young lady!

  • Don't even think about returning to my island paradise next semester!

  • Yo, Uncle.

  • I'm working something here.

  • Quit Force-blocking me, man!

  • I don't understand it.

  • I followed the curriculum to a T!

  • What am I doing wrong?

  • Do you want the long answer?

  • Or the short one?

  • Oh, not you guys.

  • Where's my dad?

  • He couldn't decide which actor to come as.

  • Ok look, I haven't turned all the way -

  • I'm at, like, ninety degrees or so.

  • Some days I'm Light, some days I'm Dark.

  • I'm not just one thing, master.

  • I'm a multi-faceted individual with many sides and many shades.

  • Ooh, that's Dark Side talk.

  • - You got that right. - Mmmmm.

  • It's time for the Jedi...

  • to end.

  • Master?

  • Look, I know there's a ledge there.

  • I've seen it from the outside.

  • Rey, I'm too scared to jump and I'm too embarrassed to come back inside while you're standing there, so...

  • Oh.

  • I'll just...

  • step out then, shall I?

  • Yeah, I'd appreciate that.

  • Thanks.

  • [LUKE] OK, Rey. Clue me in.

  • What is so gosh-darn appealing about the Dark Side?

  • [REY] Well you do get to wear a lot of black, which is always flattering.

  • I don't know if you've seen me in black, but damn!

  • [LUKE] OK, yes.

  • I too look amazing in black.

  • But is that all there is?

  • [REY] You don't have to control your temper.

  • It's good to let of a bit of steam every now and then.

  • [LUKE] Well there's nothing unhealthy about burying one's anger, deep...

  • down...

  • insiiiiiiide!!

  • [REY] And there's always something to do when you're on the Dark Side.

  • Always lots of things going on - lots of people around.

  • You really feel like you're part of a well-structured community.

  • Whereas Jedi life...

  • No offense, but what have you been doing on this island all by yourself?

  • [LUKE] Farming porgs, mainly.

  • I'm a bit of an amateur porg shepherd.

  • A scruffy-looking porg herder, if you will.

  • Aw, they're fascinating creatures.

  • I study them as well,

  • like Charles Darwin and the Galapagos finches.

  • Sometimes I stay up all night watching hours of porg.

  • Mostly soft-core.

  • [REY] Don't take this the wrong way, Master, but you don't exactly live up to the hype.

  • It's been a mite underwhelming.

  • [LUKE] You only say that cos you've never seen a porgy up close.

  • That's what they call a group of porgs - a porgy of porgs.

  • You know what they call a baby porg?

  • A porgasm.

  • [REY] That's it. I've turned full-180 Dark Side now.

When I found you...

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