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  • - All right, class.

  • Let's get started.

  • Stewie, what are you doing?

  • And why are you dressed like that?

  • Because I'm your driver's ed instructor, Brian.

  • You're what?

  • That's right.

  • I heard you lost your license, and I'm

  • going to help you get it back.

  • Um, OK.

  • Now, we've got a lot to cover.

  • But first, let's watch a safety video

  • designed to terrorize you into being a responsible motorist.

  • [dramatic music]

  • Come on, kid with a bright future.

  • I'll give you a no-seat-belt car ride

  • after this teen kegger party.

  • I don't know.

  • I'm going to Harvard-Yale tomorrow.

  • I'd hate to lose it all because of making poor choices.

  • Oh, come on, man.

  • I just had a couple of alcohol beers.

  • And I'm his girlfriend, 'cause he has great genitals.

  • And I'm impressed with reckless behavior,

  • so I'm going to reward him with my mouth when he's driving.

  • Now, let's smoke a marijuana cigarette while I'm

  • speeding because of a dare.

  • Hey, careful.

  • I'd hate for you to be unresponsive to my pleasuring

  • while you're driving because of intoxication.

  • BRIAN: Stewie, is this about anything but oral stuff

  • while you're driving?

  • STEWIE: It's about all facets of driving safety, yes.

  • BRIAN: I'm gonna fast-forward.

  • [fast-forwarded speech]

  • [dramatic music]

  • What a waste.

  • I'm a grizzled "seen it all" veteran cop,

  • and I'm shaking my head at the senseless waste.

  • Sir, we've done our police tests.

  • The driver was being mouth-pleased

  • at the moment of impact.

- All right, class.

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