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  • Oh.

  • Busted.

  • Well, well, well. Who do we have here?

  • It's me, Chris. You know me.

  • Why are you talking like a bad guy?

  • Listen! I say you steal money from Mom's purse.

  • Oh.

  • Well, I was just trying to get new sneakers. You're not gonna tell on me, are you?

  • Well, that depends.

  • On what?

  • How about I won't tell Mom and Dad about the money if you promise to do whatever I say.

  • Meg, this is how a lot of porn starts.

  • I mean it, Chris! I'll tell them.

  • Mom! Chris took money out of the--

  • Okay, okay, okay. I'll... I'll do whatever you want.

  • I thought you'd see it that way. Here's a list of stuff I need you to do for me.

  • Shouldn't've taken that money, Chris.

  • Okay Meg, I've cleaned your room and did your homework. Can I be done now?

  • Oh no. There's a lot more things I need you to do for me.

  • There are? Like what?

  • Well, now you have to watch An Officer and a Gentleman with me

  • And that's it?

  • Hehe, no.

  • At the end when Richard Gere carries Debra Winger out of the paper mill, you have to read what's on this index card.

  • [Meg cries]

  • That's gonna be you someday, Meg.

  • I know it will! I just know it will!!!

  • Okay, Meg. I stood outside Planned Parenthood for 36 hours

  • And here are the pictures of every girl in your class who went in.

  • Alright, good. Now I want you to call them as if you're their dead baby.

  • No way! That was the last thing on your list, I can't do this anymore.

  • Well, you should've thought of that before you stole money out of Mom's purse.

  • I own you!

  • Now, here's my post office key. I need you to go downtown and get the stuff that's in my P.O. box.

  • You... you don't get your mail here?

  • No. I get a lot of private correspondence from The Netherlands.

  • Like what?

  • Like, I'm part of a group that kinda trashes Anne Frank's house every year.

  • You know what? No, that's it! I'm not-- I'm not doing anymore of your crap, Meg.

  • Chris, don't you see? You have no choice.

  • I'll just tell Mom and Dad about the money, and they'll ground your ass for a year!

  • I don't care! Tell 'em, 'cause I'm not even gonna be here!

  • I'm gonna run away and no one will ever see me again!

  • Good, go! And who's even gonna miss you? You're just a little thief!

  • Where ya going, Chris? Who are you gonna turn to? You don't even have any friends!!

  • Oh my God, Chris! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!

  • Why? You wanna humiliate me with more slave work?

  • No. I... I wanted to apologize.

  • I should've never blackmailed you. I'm really sorry and I want you to come home.

  • I thought you said no one would miss me.

  • I said a lot of stupid things I didn't mean, Chris.

  • But I miss you.

  • Thanks, Meg. I miss you too.

  • You know, living in that family we both have pretty crappy lives

  • And if we're gonna survive it, we can't turn on each other. We're all we have!

  • I know. I'll never do anything like that again.

  • You think you can ever forgive me?

  • Yeah, I forgive you.

Oh.

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