There's two different kinds; there's Sea Pierogies and Tree Pierogies.

Sea pierogies are soft and have a nice salty finish.

Whereas tree pierogies are (inaudible) but no judgement.

[Intro]

Alright so we're going to take our haul, remove any debris.

We're going to make these pierogies with the shell on.

Put on some gloves for protection.

We're going to take each pierogie and make a small incision.

You can see this one; it's a bit pale and obviously has BSD, which is Barbecue Sauce Deficiency.

So we're going to take 30 CC's of barbecue sauce and inject that straight into the pierogie.

You can see they're already looking much healthier.

You can see this guy looks mildly depressed. We'll take 38 CC's of hot sauce.

This guy looks like he could benefit from some hot mustard.

For this we'll use a standard size rectal syringe. Slide that in there, just get that mustard-- oh, looks like we blew a hole.

No one said this was going to be easy.

We're just going to baste these with olive oil and if you put a little color in your olive oil it helps you to keep track of which pierogies you basted already.

Kinda looks like Starry Night.

I really didn't need to use this many colors, I could've just used one or zero. Might have been a good amount.

And you always want to warm up your barbecue before you start.

So we're creating a three-zone fire here. Zone 1 is in the direct flame, zone 2 is just off the flame.

And then we're going to create a third zone over here.

This is about ten meters from the heat source and they're facing away so that they don't cook by placebo.

No!

Getting some nice grill marks in here, which obviously makes the pierogies manlier. Ouch! That's hot.

You can see that one's detoxing a bit. You can move these up top once they start to get done.

Our one in the second zone needs a little bit more time.

And let's go check on the third zone, I think we'll find that-- oh, these are burnt. I forgot there's a second heat source that burns at around 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

So these were out here just a little too long in the third zone.

Alright, let's see how this worked here.

I'm going to say this was probably a waste of time and you should probably just dip them. There's a reason no one has though about this before now.

That's cause it's a bad idea.

Oh, look it! This one actually turned out really well.

Yeah! I take it back, it's a great idea.

Another thing you can do is take some thin wire and brand your pierogie.

I just went with the word 'no'.

Another thing you can do is slice it open, take some meat, some tomatoes, sour cream, salsa, and some lettuce.

Then you've got a delicious pier-aco.

Damn, that's a good pier-aco.

Another thing you can do is remove the top, take out a bit of the filling, spoon in a little tomato sauce. cheese, and some pepperoni.

Let's just pretend we baked that.

Then you get a little pier-izza. Damn, that's a good pier-izza!

Another thing you can do, throw in a little hot dog and mustard. Then you've got a pier-ot dog. Not to be confused with prog rock.

Damn that's a good pier-ot dog!

Another thing you can do; throw some tomato sauce in a pot, throw in some pierogies, and you got raviogies.

Damn, that's a good raviogie.

I'd just like to apologize to whatever culture that pierogies come from.

But not really cause this is so good, mmm.

In the darkness of your mind

In the kitchen of the night

In the cupboard of your heart is where you'll find

Pie-ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-gie

Oh-oh-oh-oh

You make me so emotional

In the gap beyond your thoughts

In the space between your eyes

In the blender of the skull is where you'll find

Pie-ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-gie

Oh-oh-oh-oh

You make me so emotional

Also right inside your freezer

It just could not be easier

This doesn't have to be hard

Also just go to the store if you wanted any more

It's really simple and straighforward

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-gie

Oh-oh-oh-ah

You make me so emotional

[Echoes]