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  • ♪♫You suck at cooking and you suck at life♪♫

  • Take a can of tuna.

  • Use magic to open it.

  • *click*

  • Don't worry... about...

  • ...what's on my arm.

  • I just... got a girl's number last night.

  • I... uhh... better scratch it off.

  • Tuna goes in the bowl.

  • Fork goes in the tuna.

  • Bowl goes on the table.

  • Green onions.

  • Let's say 3 of them.

  • Chop... the end's off.

  • And then...

  • ...just chop them up real good.

  • ...another thing you can do...

  • ...is if you put the knife down...

  • ...you can sort of like...

  • *autochopping sounds*

  • And you can sort of like arrange these in a pattern...

  • And then...

  • You can put it on autochop once again.

  • *even more autochopping*

  • k.

  • I don't use autochop a lot...

  • ...cause it takes more energy than actually just chopping.

  • It looks easier...

  • ...but it's not very efficient.

  • So...

  • ...take this.

  • Surprise! Put this shit in the bowl.

  • Here's a real surprise...

  • Cranberries!

  • Uhuh.

  • The cool thing about cranberries...

  • ...and a knife like this...

  • ...if you chop at a certain angle...

  • *bass sound*

  • Gives it like a bass sound.

  • Like...

  • ♪♫Got my knife out...♪♫

  • ♪♫...on the cutting board.♪♫

  • ♪♫Making something so delicious♪♫

  • ♪♫you could be assured♪♫

  • ♪♫Got my green onions chopped which I add to the tuna...♪♫

  • ♪♫...and now I'm choppping the berries, yeah, so you'd assume-ah.♪♫

  • ♪♫Then I'll add a little pepper and some salt to make it better.♪♫

  • ♪♫Then I'll mix it with a fork as if it's going through a shredder.♪♫

  • ♪♫Don't...♪♫

  • ♪♫...chop...♪♫

  • ♪♫...too hard...♪♫

  • ♪♫...or your knife will lose...♪♫

  • ♪♫...it's...♪♫

  • ♪♫edge.♪♫

  • Anyway, that's...

  • just...

  • ...waste of time now, so... you know.

  • Hey, guess what?

  • Surprise! This shit goes in the bowl too.

  • It's important not to forget...

  • ...to take a piece of the tuna, and give it to your cat.

  • *magical chiming*

  • All right, we're almost there guys!

  • You take some balsamic vinegar.

  • Pour in a little bit.

  • And take some olive oil.

  • This is special olive oil from italy...

  • ...you don't need it.

  • Just get some shitty olive oil.

  • Salt.

  • Pepper.

  • *pepper-pepper-pepper*

  • Mix it up.

  • *automixing ON*

  • *automixing OFF*

  • Okay, so...

  • ...seems like it's done.

  • Take a bite...

  • Try it.

  • Put it on some fucking bread...

  • ...put it in your fucking mouth...

  • ...put it on a salad...

  • ...put it wherever you want...

  • Just eat it. It's good.

  • It's really good like that.

  • ♪♫You suck at cooking oh my god♪♫

  • ♪♫you suck♪♫

  • ♪♫you suck♪♫

  • ♫♪you suck♫♪

  • ♫♪you suck♫♪

  • ♫♪you suck♫♪

  • ♪♫oh my god♪♫

  • ♪♫you suck♪♫

♪♫You suck at cooking and you suck at life♪♫

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