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  • When I was in grade nine, I went to a high school that shared its building with another high school.

  • Basically, St. Marcellinus was a newly built high school,

  • and at the time, we only had two years worth of schools to occupy the building:

  • the freshmen, and the sophomores.

  • And because of that, almost half of the classrooms in the school were vacant.

  • This allowed another school, St. Joan of Arc, to use those available spaces until their school was built.

  • I didn't really think much of it,

  • until I met Joyce.

  • "Hey Dom, I don't think you make it obvious enough that you're not using real names in your stories."

  • "What, really, you mean people are actually searching 'Erin Kim' on Facebook?"

  • "Yeah."

  • "Hmm."

  • Anyway, my first period was French,

  • and the classroom happened to be at the border [at] which my school,

  • and St. Joan of Arc, were separated.

  • One day, as I was waiting in front of my classroom for the teacher to come and open the door for us,

  • I happened to catch glimpse of a cute girl from the other school who was also waiting for her teacher.

  • "Dom, it seems like you get into a lot of shit when you

  • notice a cute girl.

  • Is this gonna be one of those stories?"

  • "Shh, shh, just,

  • just sit down. Let me tell the story."

  • So this continued nearly every day.

  • I get to my class early

  • just so I could get a chance to look at the cute girl before she entered her class,

  • like the creep I am.

  • I think I did it often enough where she eventually recognized me, because

  • one day I came across her Asian Avenue website.

  • If you don't know what that questionably exclusive website was,

  • it was basically a Myspace,

  • but, you guessed it

  • for Asians!

  • So I found her page, [and] recognized from the pictures that she was the same girl.

  • 13-year-old me said, "what the heck? I'll leave a message."

  • I said "Hey, you look familiar.

  • Do you go to St. Joan of Arc?"

  • She said, "Yeah! you go to St. Marcellinus right?"

  • [GASPS]

  • (I've been noticed...)

  • And that was the start of a new friendship.

  • We started meeting up before our first classes, and although they were short, I cherished it.

  • We even began strategically planning the paths we took to our next classes,

  • just so we could briefly run into each other.

  • She gave me this nickname,

  • Domz,

  • and it just stuck with me. I liked it,

  • even though it was just adding a letter to my name.

  • She found my art really impressive,

  • and having her support really made me want to do better and improve my skills

  • I still remember her saying,

  • "Domz, if you ever become a famous artist, don't forget me!"

  • Eventually we found ourselves talking every day, whether it was at school or online.

  • I didn't have a phone, believe it or not, little six-year-old with an iPad.

  • I really liked her,

  • but was it worth the risk of spilling my feelings

  • and possibly making the friendship awkward?

  • "Yes"

  • I mean, I was happy where we were.

  • We shared personal secrets with each other.

  • She came to me whenever she had problems; I came to her with mine.

  • Intimacy was probably the only thing separating us from being a couple.

  • I became acquainted with one of her close friends,

  • and even she thought I should ask her out.

  • But I've never done that before.

  • I've never had a girlfriend at that point,

  • and everything before that was merely a series of crushes on girls

  • that I never had a chance with.

  • But I thought to myself that

  • if I was ever gonna have a first, she would be my pick

  • I decided to tell her how I felt.

  • I believe that had a good chance seeing as how we were best friends.

  • We already had that bond, that trust.

  • I told myself that if she does say no,

  • I would respectfully accept it and still remain friends with her.

  • Easier said than done...

  • and...

  • that's what happened.

  • I wasn't sure if there was someone else or anything, but regardless,

  • she just didn't see me in that way.

  • I felt crushed (pun intended),

  • but it felt amazing to get that off my chest.

  • She didn't find it too weird.

  • She was an open-minded girl.

  • And yes, I titled this "Best Friend Zone" because that is what it was.

  • I was in a realm of the relationship of which I could not proceed to the next.

  • I'm not using the term as a means to bolster the egos of over-entitled "nice guys."

  • She didn't owe me anything.

  • I'm not saying that just because her friends and I thought we would be a good couple, [means] we should have been one.

  • I'm simply saying that although I didn't exactly

  • get the girl,

  • I was happy that I still got to stay best friends with her,

  • and even though I could never breach that barrier

  • I was alright with it.

  • If you're one of those people that claim you got friendzoned

  • but complain about it like she owes your relationship,

  • then that's not the friendzone, matethat's the pity zone.

  • Politely accept the rejection and move on.

  • Anyway, I obviously didn't get over her right away

  • I accepted her answer, but my feelings still lingered along with questions of why I was inadequate as a boyfriend.

  • But I guess that's the mistake most people make when facing rejection.

  • They just invest so much into one person that they get tunnel vision,

  • and when they get rejected by them they can't fathom the possibility that maybe they're adequate for someone else.

  • I came to realize that, and soon enough Joyce and I were back to our usual friendship.

  • She became interested in other guys; I became interested in other girls.

  • But we were there for each other.

  • In a way, it was probably for the best that we didn't end up together

  • Because at the end of my sophomore year, I came to her with some news.

  • "My dad got a job in Virginia."

  • "I'm moving."

  • "No no no no, Dom, you come back here, and you continue this right now."

  • Okay, okay! Geez...

  • can't appreciate a cliffhanger?

  • "I'm moving."

  • And this definitely wouldn't be the last time I hurt someone by leaving them.

  • We've been best friends for two years, and it wasn't easy for us to say goodbye.

  • I had no idea how long I'd be in Virginia. I couldn't promise her I'd be back,

  • but I definitely visited from time to time.

  • We still kept in touch online, but she wanted to keep her updates special, so she preferred to write letters.

  • However, while we had all these methods of communicating,

  • we were in two different worlds. Two different environments.

  • I made new friends,

  • and when her school finally moved to their new building, she found new ones as well.

  • We started talking less.

  • Eventually it drifted apart; not as total strangers.

  • We would still be what you consider... friends,

  • but not like before.

  • And that happens.

  • We can't always find someone or something to blame for it.

  • As long as you enjoyed the experience, then it was definitely worthwhile.

  • And even if you didn't,

  • it would at least make a good story.

  • [The feels...]

When I was in grade nine, I went to a high school that shared its building with another high school.

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