Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - Today we bring back the classic game Minesweeper, with a not so tasty twist. - Let's talk about that. (playful theme music) Good mythical morning. - Now back in the day, all the classic PCs came with the same free games, and you didn't play Solitaire unless you wanted to die alone, you played - [Together] Minesweeper. - If you're like me, you didn't really understand the rules, you just sort of poked around on the board until it blew up. I just thought the whole thing was a giant metaphor for the unpredictable violence of life and how we're never truly safe. - Oh wow. Well that's not how the game works, it's actually a strategy game. - Oh really? - Yeah, where you analyze your position to make the best choice possible, - I should've known that. - But you still may hit a mine, so I guess maybe it is a metaphor. But for us, we are replacing the violence with horrible food, it's time for This Isn't Hogwarts, Hagrid Ain't Your Groundskeeper, We've Got Nasty Food, and We're Playing Minesweeper. Check out this giant Minesweeper board. Here it is, and you know what, under many of these panels are lurking mines, nasty food mines. If you hit a mine, you gotta eat something nasty from a bucket that is the same color as the color of the mine on the board. - And the food contents go from not that nasty to real nasty. - I haven't even looked in these buckets yet, I don't wanna know until I gotta eat something. - I can't help, my vantage point, I'm like a hawk. - I'm sure it's nasty. In normal Minesweeper, you hit a mine, the game's over, but this ain't normal, if you hit a mine, well, you gotta hit two more before the game's over. And if you're the first person to hit three mines, - You lose. - You gotta eat a nasty smoothie. - But let's be real here, everyone's gonna lose a little bit today. Okay, who's gonna go first. - You're taller, so I'm gonna go first. - Alright, we gotta even things out, okay. Pick a square, any square. - Now is this electrified, if I touch this, is it gonna hurt? - [Stevie] Let's find out. - I'm feeling this right here. - Oh look at you. - Ooh, a five, now-- - Okay, so this is how Minesweeper works, I've since learned since I said that I didn't know, I have learned. This means that there are five mines touching this square, we just don't know where they are. - Yeah, I wouldn't be picking any of these, odds are not in your favor. You know what, you should pick one of these. - I'm gonna come down here. (explosion) - Oh you hit a yellow mine. Yellow bucket, right in the middle, pretty nasty probably, what is it? - [Stevie] Oh you're in for a treat, because those are shots of toothpaste and orange juice. - Oh gosh, you're not supposed to eat toothpaste. - Toothpaste and orange juice, down the hatch. There's a clump of, - Ah refreshing, it's actually not bad. - Toothpaste got on the bottom. - It's not good, it's not good and not bad in equal parts. - I may have to taste one, I see another one in there. - Okay, it could get worse than that. - See, alright, I know they didn't put a bomb right next to that bomb, so, well I don't know that, but I'm guessing. - Dang, you're on a roll Neal. - Four, so, - Four, so we already know-- - So you know there's three, so now odds are in your favor that only, that's one of the four, so then there's only three left here Rhett. - And what are the chances that you put one right next to another one, ha, that's right sucka! - Okay, so now we know, crap, there's two here, so there's only one here, I don't think that's a good place. I'm gonna go here. - Oh no! No, how are you doing this? - So now we're working like some triangulation, right. Most likely this is one, most likely this is not one, yes! - Hmm, so two, there's two bombs here out of these three, so I'm not gonna hit that. Two here, man. - Oh you gonna just go somewhere else huh? - The three, I'm done thinking. Three, ha ha ha, I'm still clean, sweepin', I'm going for a clean mine sweep. - Both of these are touching this one. This is, I don't know. There's no logic, I'm just gonna grab one. Oh yeah, oh I just totally gave you one though. - No, you haven't told me anything. - Well I've told you where one definitely is. - Ah, three. - You know that this is a mine, because two, and you know what I'm saying, so you know that that's a mine. - Go for that one. - Golly. (explosion) - Dang, he got another mine y'all. - And I got nasty, too. - Alright, so that's orange. - What is that? - [Stevie] It keeps getting worse. Why don't you stick your hand in there, that is a squid just covered in mayo. - Stick your hand in there. Where's the squid man? - That's him, it's a little baby one. - Ew, is it fried? - No. - Nope. - It's boiled for safety. - Dang. - But it's got mayonnaise on it. - I wouldn't be sloughing that mayonnaise off, I'd keep as much mayonnaise as possible on that thing. Eat the mayonnaise off your finger, that's gonna help you. - I wanna stretch the mayonnaise out, when the squid starts coming, the mayonnaise-- - Stretch that mayo out. Oh, you got it down. - Man, I got two mines, you got zero. So I mean, I gotta make one heck of a comeback here. - I think, let's see, four, there's three around here. Three, four, five, but then there's-- (explosion) Okay, at least it's green. I hit a mine, I hit a greenie. - [Stevie] All you have to do Link is eat a spam and soil salad sandwich. - Soil? - Spam and soil? - What kind of soil? - Ew, ewwww. Do I have to eat the cucumber? - Definitely. - What, there's soil pieces. - That's good, a nice healthy bite. How's the soil part? - It's not good at all. - You need some mayonnaise? (crunch) - You hear that? - That was a molar. - I got it down. Dang, that was just green. - Okay, I'm in strategy mode now. Ah yes. - So that, I know this is a bomb. Going back up here, three minus one, there's two more out of all of these. - He's doing math ladies and gentlemen. - So chances are pretty good that I'm not gonna hit a bomb here. - True, true dat. - Phew, yes. - There's two here, we know that's one. Three, we know this is one, 'cause we already established that, so that means that only one out of these is actually, so I stand a pretty good chance of not getting a bomb. Ha, that's right sucka! - Okay, there's only one here, and we know that's it. - So bam that ain't it. - And I know that this is not it either. - And bam, that ain't it. - I know that this is one, and we know that this is one, and this is one, so that is one, and that is one, so this is not one. - And then out of these, we know that this is one. That says three, and that says two, so we know that that's one. Woo! - Oh you wanna start a new part of the board, huh? Four, look at me, ha ha ha. That's right. - Wooh, sweeping the board y'all. - Hold on, but you were onto something over here. If there's two hitting this, this is not one. - Whew, I've never played Minesweeper before. - You're good, though, Link, you're good. This is all tricky in here, so I'm just gonna take my chances. That was pure luck. Pure luck. - Take a risk, make the dream come true. - You're getting so many, you're just grabbing, and it's a five. Okay, oh gosh, so I'm gonna have to assume that this is one, which means that this one or this one could be one. - I just kind of get weary of, like, - Strategy? - Strategy, so I'm like. (explosion) - I get weary of strategy. - Dang I gotta eat a, it's the same thing. Dang it. - Have another soil sandwich Link. - I'm not chewing as hard this time. - Is it better this time? - No, same thing. Very salty, and soily. - But have you adjusted to it? - It's not as bad this time, yeah. Where you going? - This is very, I'm cautious of this area, because of the five, which leads me to believe that this is the least likely. Yes, don't get weary of strategy, it pays off. - So two out of these three are still a bomb. And then, two out of these three. Nope, one out of these three is a bomb, so that tells me, this is not a bomb. - You just got lucky man. - Why you gotta call me out? I seemed like I knew something all of a sudden. Man, I'm getting-- This is what happens with me with strategy games. It's just like, oh man, I thought so hard at the top, and by this point, I'm like, I don't have it in me anymore. - It's about perseverance, man. - Yeah, so I'm just like, I don't know-- I'm afraid, though. I just don't want to leave it to chance, ah! Yes! - Oh nice. - Get yourself mine. (explosion) Oh yeah baby! And he's out, three, and it's the red one. Why'd you choose that one? - Just 'cause I, 'cause I, I don't know. The same reason you-- - One, two, one, two, well it's, alright. - There's two, I thought these were a two, no. - What is that, that looks like a deviled egg. - [Stevie] It's a loaded tarantula skin. So basically it's like a potato skin, but without the potato, and plus the tarantula. - Ew, it's a balled up tarantula with bacon bits on it. Just focus on the bacon bit part. - Is that cheese, I like cheese. - Having eaten some of this kind of stuff, - Yeah, how do you, 'cause I-- - It's gonna be crunchy.