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  • - Today we bring back the classic game Minesweeper,

  • with a not so tasty twist.

  • - Let's talk about that.

  • (playful theme music)

  • Good mythical morning.

  • - Now back in the day, all the classic PCs

  • came with the same free games, and you didn't play Solitaire

  • unless you wanted to die alone, you played

  • - [Together] Minesweeper.

  • - If you're like me, you didn't really understand

  • the rules, you just sort of poked around on the board

  • until it blew up.

  • I just thought the whole thing was a giant metaphor

  • for the unpredictable violence of life

  • and how we're never truly safe.

  • - Oh wow.

  • Well that's not how the game works,

  • it's actually a strategy game. - Oh really?

  • - Yeah, where you analyze your position to make

  • the best choice possible, - I should've known that.

  • - But you still may hit a mine,

  • so I guess maybe it is a metaphor.

  • But for us, we are replacing the violence

  • with horrible food, it's time for

  • This Isn't Hogwarts, Hagrid Ain't Your Groundskeeper,

  • We've Got Nasty Food, and We're Playing Minesweeper.

  • Check out this giant Minesweeper board.

  • Here it is, and you know what,

  • under many of these panels are lurking mines,

  • nasty food mines.

  • If you hit a mine, you gotta eat something nasty

  • from a bucket that is the same color

  • as the color of the mine on the board.

  • - And the food contents go from not that nasty

  • to real nasty.

  • - I haven't even looked in these buckets yet,

  • I don't wanna know until I gotta eat something.

  • - I can't help, my vantage point, I'm like a hawk.

  • - I'm sure it's nasty.

  • In normal Minesweeper, you hit a mine, the game's over,

  • but this ain't normal, if you hit a mine, well,

  • you gotta hit two more before the game's over.

  • And if you're the first person to hit three mines,

  • - You lose.

  • - You gotta eat a nasty smoothie.

  • - But let's be real here,

  • everyone's gonna lose a little bit today.

  • Okay, who's gonna go first.

  • - You're taller, so I'm gonna go first.

  • - Alright, we gotta even things out, okay.

  • Pick a square, any square.

  • - Now is this electrified, if I touch this,

  • is it gonna hurt?

  • - [Stevie] Let's find out.

  • - I'm feeling this right here.

  • - Oh look at you.

  • - Ooh, a five, now--

  • - Okay, so this is how Minesweeper works,

  • I've since learned since I said that I didn't know,

  • I have learned.

  • This means that there are five mines

  • touching this square, we just don't know where they are.

  • - Yeah, I wouldn't be picking any of these,

  • odds are not in your favor.

  • You know what, you should pick one of these.

  • - I'm gonna come down here.

  • (explosion) - Oh you hit a yellow mine.

  • Yellow bucket, right in the middle,

  • pretty nasty probably, what is it?

  • - [Stevie] Oh you're in for a treat,

  • because those are shots of toothpaste and orange juice.

  • - Oh gosh, you're not supposed to eat toothpaste.

  • - Toothpaste and orange juice, down the hatch.

  • There's a clump of,

  • - Ah refreshing, it's actually not bad.

  • - Toothpaste got on the bottom.

  • - It's not good, it's not good and not bad in equal parts.

  • - I may have to taste one, I see another one in there.

  • - Okay, it could get worse than that.

  • - See, alright, I know they didn't put a bomb

  • right next to that bomb, so,

  • well I don't know that, but I'm guessing.

  • - Dang, you're on a roll Neal.

  • - Four, so,

  • - Four, so we already know--

  • - So you know there's three, so now odds are in your favor

  • that only, that's one of the four, so then there's

  • only three left here Rhett.

  • - And what are the chances that you put one

  • right next to another one,

  • ha, that's right sucka!

  • - Okay, so now we know, crap, there's two here,

  • so there's only one here, I don't think that's a good place.

  • I'm gonna go here. - Oh no!

  • No, how are you doing this?

  • - So now we're working like some triangulation, right.

  • Most likely this is one, most likely this is not one, yes!

  • - Hmm, so two, there's two bombs here

  • out of these three, so I'm not gonna hit that.

  • Two here, man.

  • - Oh you gonna just go somewhere else huh?

  • - The three, I'm done thinking.

  • Three, ha ha ha, I'm still clean, sweepin',

  • I'm going for a clean mine sweep.

  • - Both of these are touching this one.

  • This is, I don't know.

  • There's no logic, I'm just gonna grab one.

  • Oh yeah, oh I just totally gave you one though.

  • - No, you haven't told me anything.

  • - Well I've told you where one definitely is.

  • - Ah, three.

  • - You know that this is a mine, because two,

  • and you know what I'm saying,

  • so you know that that's a mine.

  • - Go for that one.

  • - Golly.

  • (explosion)

  • - Dang, he got another mine y'all.

  • - And I got nasty, too.

  • - Alright, so that's orange. - What is that?

  • - [Stevie] It keeps getting worse.

  • Why don't you stick your hand in there,

  • that is a squid just covered in mayo.

  • - Stick your hand in there.

  • Where's the squid man?

  • - That's him, it's a little baby one.

  • - Ew, is it fried?

  • - No. - Nope.

  • - It's boiled for safety.

  • - Dang. - But it's got

  • mayonnaise on it.

  • - I wouldn't be sloughing that mayonnaise off,

  • I'd keep as much mayonnaise as possible on that thing.

  • Eat the mayonnaise off your finger,

  • that's gonna help you.

  • - I wanna stretch the mayonnaise out,

  • when the squid starts coming, the mayonnaise--

  • - Stretch that mayo out.

  • Oh, you got it down.

  • - Man, I got two mines, you got zero.

  • So I mean, I gotta make one heck of a comeback here.

  • - I think, let's see,

  • four, there's three around here.

  • Three, four, five, but then there's--

  • (explosion)

  • Okay, at least it's green.

  • I hit a mine, I hit a greenie.

  • - [Stevie] All you have to do Link

  • is eat a spam and soil salad sandwich.

  • - Soil?

  • - Spam and soil? - What kind of soil?

  • - Ew, ewwww.

  • Do I have to eat the cucumber?

  • - Definitely.

  • - What, there's soil pieces.

  • - That's good, a nice healthy bite.

  • How's the soil part?

  • - It's not good at all.

  • - You need some mayonnaise?

  • (crunch)

  • - You hear that? - That was a molar.

  • - I got it down.

  • Dang, that was just green.

  • - Okay, I'm in strategy mode now.

  • Ah yes.

  • - So that, I know this is a bomb.

  • Going back up here, three minus one, there's two more

  • out of all of these.

  • - He's doing math ladies and gentlemen.

  • - So chances are pretty good that I'm not gonna hit

  • a bomb here. - True, true dat.

  • - Phew, yes.

  • - There's two here,

  • we know that's one.

  • Three, we know this is one, 'cause we already

  • established that, so that means that only one

  • out of these is actually, so I stand a pretty good chance

  • of not getting a bomb.

  • Ha, that's right sucka!

  • - Okay, there's only one here,

  • and we know that's it.

  • - So bam that ain't it.

  • - And I know that this is not it either.

  • - And bam, that ain't it.

  • - I know that this is one, and we know that

  • this is one, and this is one, so that is one,

  • and that is one, so this is not one.

  • - And then out of these, we know that this is one.

  • That says three, and that says two,

  • so we know that that's one.

  • Woo! - Oh you wanna start

  • a new part of the board, huh?

  • Four, look at me, ha ha ha.

  • That's right.

  • - Wooh, sweeping the board y'all.

  • - Hold on, but you were onto something over here.

  • If there's two hitting this, this is not one.

  • - Whew, I've never played Minesweeper before.

  • - You're good, though, Link, you're good.

  • This is all tricky in here,

  • so I'm just gonna take my chances.

  • That was pure luck.

  • Pure luck.

  • - Take a risk,

  • make the dream come true.

  • - You're getting so many,

  • you're just grabbing, and it's a five.

  • Okay, oh gosh, so I'm gonna have to assume

  • that this is one, which means that this one

  • or this one could be one.

  • - I just kind of get weary of, like,

  • - Strategy? - Strategy,

  • so I'm like. (explosion)

  • - I get weary of strategy.

  • - Dang I gotta eat a, it's the same thing.

  • Dang it.

  • - Have another soil sandwich Link.

  • - I'm not chewing as hard this time.

  • - Is it better this time?

  • - No, same thing.

  • Very salty, and soily.

  • - But have you adjusted to it?

  • - It's not as bad this time, yeah.

  • Where you going?

  • - This is very, I'm cautious of this area,

  • because of the five,

  • which leads me to believe that this is the least likely.

  • Yes, don't get weary of strategy, it pays off.

  • - So two out of these three are still a bomb.

  • And then, two out of these three.

  • Nope, one out of these three is a bomb,

  • so that tells me, this is not a bomb.

  • - You just got lucky man.

  • - Why you gotta call me out?

  • I seemed like I knew something all of a sudden.

  • Man, I'm getting--

  • This is what happens with me with strategy games.

  • It's just like, oh man, I thought so hard at the top,

  • and by this point, I'm like, I don't have it in me anymore.

  • - It's about perseverance, man.

  • - Yeah, so I'm just like, I don't know--

  • I'm afraid, though.

  • I just don't want to leave it to chance, ah!

  • Yes! - Oh nice.

  • - Get yourself mine.

  • (explosion) Oh yeah baby!

  • And he's out, three, and it's the red one.

  • Why'd you choose that one?

  • - Just 'cause I, 'cause I, I don't know.

  • The same reason you-- - One, two, one, two,

  • well it's, alright.

  • - There's two, I thought these were a two, no.

  • - What is that, that looks like a deviled egg.

  • - [Stevie] It's a loaded tarantula skin.

  • So basically it's like a potato skin,

  • but without the potato, and plus the tarantula.

  • - Ew, it's a balled up tarantula with bacon bits on it.

  • Just focus on the bacon bit part.

  • - Is that cheese, I like cheese.

  • - Having eaten some of this kind of stuff,

  • - Yeah, how do you, 'cause I--

  • - It's gonna be crunchy.