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  • Late one night, in a quiet suburban street, a yellow car drove into my life and changed

  • it forever.

  • This is the story of what happened.

  • My husband and I are visiting our best friends Mark and Karen.

  • Were sitting out on their front verandah drinking wine and just starting to enjoy ourselves

  • when we hear violent pounding coming from downstairs.

  • We look at each other, confused

  • Axe murderer?”

  • I suggest.

  • Mark ‘s sure they don’t knock.

  • The pounding starts again.

  • We can’t agree on who should go down to face certain death, so all four of us descend

  • the stairs.

  • Karen bravely opens the door and we see that the possible axe murderer is really an irate

  • woman who immediately takes a step inside, looks straight at Phil, and barks -

  • Is that your car on my nature strip?”

  • Phil repeatedly reassures her that the little yellow car outside her house isn’t ours

  • and eventually she leaves

  • As we go back upstairs were like little kids, sniggering at this taste of neighbourhood

  • nuttiness

  • Relaxing on the veranda we have no idea just how interesting the evening is about to become.

  • I glance over the railing and see an extraordinary scene.

  • I call everyone over to watch the drama unfolding in the street.

  • The irate woman is now standing near the little yellow car looking very upset.

  • She starts circling the car- pulling on each of the door handles one by one.

  • A man joins her.

  • He tries to open the boot, attempts to push the car and even kicks the tyres.

  • Their interaction with the car is anything but civil.

  • We lean on the railing, watching as the couple continues this odd behavior.

  • After ten minutes or so they leave the car and disappear inside the house.

  • I’m dismayed the show is over.

  • But no!

  • It’s not.

  • To our great delight the couple are back outside pacing up and down their tiny verandah, talking

  • in an animated manner and waving their arms around.

  • Finally she stops pacing, puts her hands on her hips and gives the car a death stare while

  • her husband gets on his mobile and begins an intense conversation.

  • By the way he gestures toward the car we can guess what it’s about.

  • Were all thrilled to have box seats to this silly street opera.

  • now I know you may be thinking that this is an older couple

  • not at all..

  • they look to be in their twenties and this is

  • FRIDAY NIGHT

  • To our astonishment the couple come out through the front gate and begin their performance

  • all over again.

  • It’s as if weve pressed replay.

  • He ends up leaning in the doorway as though there’s tragedy afoot.

  • Were doubled over with laughter, tears running down our faces.

  • Were almost wetting ourselves.

  • This crazy couple has spent the best part of an hour fretting about a car parked on

  • public property outside their house.

  • I’m laughing so much I can barely gasp out my sentence:

  • Who, who, who, would do this?

  • Who would be this stupid.

  • Who would waste their Friday night upset about a car?”

  • Then I stop laughing.

  • I’ve realise I know the answer to my question.

  • I know exactly who would do this

  • I know who is as idiotic as this couple

  • Me!

  • Me!

  • I would be this stupid.

  • I am this stupid.

  • I’ve just been watching myself

  • I go round and round whatever yellow car happens to be parked outside my house

  • I’ve been driving myself crazy with my fears, imagined catastrophes, regrets and obsessions.

  • And I get on the phone and drive everyone around me crazy too, rehashing that past hurt,

  • freaking out about the future or whining about what went wrong.

  • I’m just like the crazy couple.

  • I am them.

  • Even on a Friday night – I take my misery everywhere I go.

  • After a few moments of sobering enlightenment, I say to Phil,

  • Whenever I start doing thatwhenever I start acting in that insane way about something

  • that I can’t change

  • Or some imagined something that might happen in the futureremind me about tonight.

  • And now, whenever I begin my nutty obsessingwhich is daily hell watch my performance

  • for a while a bit then with a smile he'll say

  • Toni, Toni

  • It’s just a yellow car

  • and I’ll laugh, relieved I’ve been reminded not to be such a moron.

  • And look – I’m smiling a whole lot more these days.

  • Hi, this is Toni and youve just heard the first part of my funny little book

  • The Yellow Car

  • Check out my website to find out more

  • Have a great day, and remember – a lot of the time

  • It’s just a yellow car.”

Late one night, in a quiet suburban street, a yellow car drove into my life and changed

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