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  • After Ant Man, asked the question: "You ever watch Iron Man? But small?"

  • Marvel's latest solo movie invites you to ask another:

  • "You ever watch Iron Man, on weed?"

  • DOCTOR STRANGE

  • Experience the grand illusion (that you haven't seen this movie before), as you sit through the heroic origins of

  • a cocky but capable, super rich, wise-cracking, workaholic with a weird goatee,

  • in-love with a red-headed subordinate, learning to be less selfish, played by a famous Sherlock Holmes actor.

  • Its like Iron Man! But, actually that's it. Its pretty much JUST like Iron Man.

  • Magic has come to the Marvel universe, and not that it's just science b.s. that Thor went on about.

  • "Your ancestors called it magic, and you call it science."

  • We're talking acid trips, 70's blacklight poster magic that bends space and time in new plot-breaking ways.

  • And uses mind-blowing effects to distract you from the fact that the action is still 90% punching

  • Umm... shouldn't that hurt his hands?

  • You cringed when he tried to do a Southern accent

  • "The power d-d-didn't go out... u-uh I forgot to set the clock... u-uh I'm sorry mom"

  • You weren't sure if he was serious when he attempted a Boston one

  • "You know what John.. Good to see you doing so well."

  • Now, Benedict Cumberbatch will sound like an English man, pretending to be a German man, pretending to be an American

  • In a featured length tribute to Hans Gruber's accent in Die Hard when he gets caught by Bruce Willis.

  • "Please God, no you're one of them aren't you?"

  • "You care so much! Don't you?"

  • Benny, Bobby. Your natural voice is perfect, use it.

  • Joining the titular strange on his journey from Act 1 protagonist, to Act 3 protagonist.

  • Are side characters and villains (who are up to the usual Marvel standard).

  • Chiwetel Ejiofor, who's just kind of there to explain things.

  • "Temporal manipulations can create branches in time."

  • "This is a relic. The sanctums protect the world, and we sorcerers protect the sanctums."

  • Mads Mikkelsen, playing a bad guy with weird eyes, for the third time in his career.

  • Who's entire plan revolves around successfully ripping some pages out of a book,

  • To summon a malevolent demon who he hopes will enslave the human race.

  • "Not a great plan."

  • Tilda Swinton, a being of immense power.

  • Bravely guarding the marvel cinematic universe from Asian actors.

  • "She's Celtic"

  • And this cloak with more personality than any of the human beings.

  • Ah-waghh *thud*

  • "Stop"

  • Man, I want to see that cloak crossover with the rug in Aladdin so bad.

  • Enjoy a visual masterpiece that has to be seen in 3-D on a giant screen to be fully appreciated.

  • Because when you watch it on a laptop, you realize just how much of it is medical mumbo-jumbo.

  • "You need to get him prepped for a suboccipital craniotomy."

  • "Look, I'm fusing transected spinal cords, I'm stimulating neurogenesis in the central nervous system."

  • "Pass the stent down the brachial artery into the radial artery."

  • "To complete C7-C8 spinal cord injury."

  • With a heaping side order of magic mumbo-jumbo.

  • "The Dark Dimension makes them more powerful in the Mirror Dimension."

  • "I saw the rituals in the book of Cagliostro."

  • "I pushed your astral form out of your physical form."

  • "The Wand of Watoomb."

  • "The Vaulting Boots of Valtorr."

  • "The pages that Kaecilius stole."

  • "A ritual to contact Dormammu and draw power from the Dark Dimension."

  • Winguardian Levios-suck me sideways this is unnecessary.

  • Just shoot laser beams out of your wand and be done with it.

  • So enjoy a film that despite it's faults,

  • doesn't fall into the third act trap

  • of battling a CGI army and a sky beam.

  • Saves money by playing the same scene thirteen times in a row.

  • "Dormammu! I've come to bargain."

  • And sends a powerful message to the children.

  • Modern medicine can't be trusted.

  • "My spirit deepened, and somehow..."

  • "- Your body healed."

  • "- Yes."

  • And don't text and drive.

  • *tires screech, crash*

  • Because you might end up turning into a wizard.

  • "I'm not sure what to do with my hands" - Ricky Bobby

  • So Cumberbatch did the motion capture for Dormammu himself.

  • Man, he really likes to goof around in leotards huh.

  • "Nonnnne, can stop me!"

  • *pants*

  • *hisses*

  • Hey screen junkies, Hollywood's hottest daughter isn't done with you yet.

  • Click the box on the left to watch Benedict Cumberbatch

  • Answer our silly questions in our honest interview

  • Or, click the box on the right to see where our Cumber crush began

  • In the honest trailer for Sherlock

  • And please stop yelling at us about aluminum.

  • We get it.

  • "Dormammu I've come to bargain."

  • *repeats for about 5 times*

After Ant Man, asked the question: "You ever watch Iron Man? But small?"

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