Open a channel!

I sense a presence I have not felt in a long time.

NERDS!

Ugh, YOU again.

Look, we're not nerds.

If we're nerds, you're nerds.

Yeah, right. I'M a sith lord, and YOU'RE a bald guy in pajamas.

Can you do this?

NO, because that doesn't make any sense. If people can do that, why does anyone have a gun?

Uh, because you have to have the reflexes of a force master.

Oh, so you have to be MAGIC, then.

That's dumb.

Oh, ok, the force is dumb, but you beaming people all over the place isn't.

It's science!

We convert a person or object into an energy pattern through a process called dem-

Oh, there you go. Yeah, pack your dialogue with bullshit pseudoscience.

We don't do that!

Sir, we cannot compensate for the gravimetric interference!

Not now, Geordie.

UGH. I feel like I'm in science class, but I'm getting dumber.

You want to talk about pseudoscience? Midichlorians, then.

That doesn't count.

How about politics? The galactic senate, then.

Doesn't count either.

Oh, great. So, tell me, what DOES count as Star Wars?

The Clone Wars cartoon, and the original three movies. Except the Ewoks. They're dumb.

[giggling]

OH YEAH, YEAH, Hilarious. Almost as hilarious as STAR TREK FIVE.

We don't speak of the odd-numbered Star Trek movies.

That's weird, because it seems like all you do is talk.

Your simple, Shoot-em-up mind just can't handle these complex, nuanced -

BORING. Oh, yeah, your stuff is SO nuanced. Be nice to Data, and don't be racist to aliens. There, I solved Star Trek.

It's far more intelligent than your Dark Side, Light Side nonsense!

Star Wars is like philosophy, for children!

Yeah, sorry, we HAVE to keep it simple-to, y'know, move the plot along, and have some action.

Star Trek has plenty of action!

Captain, will you be attending my poetry reading later?

God, Data, seriously.

The only "strong," Star Trek character gets his ass kicked ALL THE TIME.

ENOUGH. I won't sit here any longer and be insulted!

Gah!

Ugh.

Oh-ho-ho-ho, man, the force rules. Oh, Worf sucks so bad.

yes, yes.

Very funny, Lord Vader, but I'm afraid that while you were prattling on, we were collecting valuable information-

about your space station, and we have detected a weakness.

Target the exhaust port! Fire photon torpedoes!

Photon torpedoes? What are those? Like, geek-ass proton torpedoes?

Your special effects are laaaaaaaaaaaaame

That's not the point!

Yes it iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss

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Yeah, they're "sketches." Not "skits."

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