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  • [traditional French Folk music]

  • [wooden door knocking]

  • Good morning, monsieur La Petite. I am Colonel Hans Lander of the SS.

  • I was hoping you could invite me inside your home and we could have a discussion.

  • Uh, of course. Please come in.

  • Now. As you may have heard, I am in charge of rounding up all the Jews in this village.

  • Yes, I have heard that.

  • Are you aware of any Jews hiding in the area?

  • No. No, I assure you there haven't been no Jews in this village.

  • There... haven't been no Jews? So there have been some Jews?

  • Oh-- uh. Sorry, no I meant, err, there haven't been any Jews. No Jews here.

  • [scoffs]

  • Sorry. I was confused by your double negative. You see, grammar's very important to the Nazi Party.

  • Now. Are you familiar with one Shoshannnah Dreyfus?

  • Yes, I know her. Me and her buy our milk at the same market.

  • Me and her? Surely, you meant to say "she and I", no?

  • Yes, of course.

  • The trick is to take the other person out of the sentence to see if it makes sense.

  • "Me buy milk"? I think not. "I buy milk", you see?

  • I swear I do not know where Mademoiselle Dreyfus is at.

  • Did you just end a sentence with a preposition?

  • Forgive me, Colonel.

  • When was the last time you saw the Jew Dreyfus?

  • About a month ago, I was walking by the River Bayonne and I saw Dreyfus fishing

  • so I went down to the riverbank to see if it was her but I couldn't get a good view so--

  • [laughs heartily, then pounds his fist on the table]

  • Oh, did you really think I was so stupid I wouldn't recognise a run on sentence?

  • Sorry, there was no Jews here!

  • "Jew" or "Jews"-- plural?

  • Plural.

  • Wrong! You have to match your subject with your verb.

  • What do you want from me?

  • I've heard from numerous sources you are hiding Mademoiselle Dreyfus.

  • From who?

  • "From whom".

  • Don't kill me, please.

  • Miseur La Petite, I have one more question for you.

  • If you answer correctly, I will leave you and your family at peace. If not, you are coming with me.

  • Now. Let's say you are writing a list. Would you or would you not put a comma before the "and"?

  • It depends on whether you are following the Chicago Manual Of Style or the Associated Press Guide.

  • Hiding under the floorboards, I have finally found you.

  • Wait!

  • You are hiding under the floorboards or is she?

  • A dangling participle?

  • A dangling participle.

  • [gunshot, shocking horror orchestra stabs]

  • [Captions by Striata Music]

[traditional French Folk music]

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