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  • Am I too bright?

  • Whatever the sun's going to set

  • Okay hi guys my name's Shannon and...this is too bright

  • Okay hi guys my name's Shannon

  • and I was gay and in a Sorority

  • Whaa

  • Okay so if you don't know what a sorority is it's basically like

  • a club in college with a bunch of girls

  • And you like have a house, where you like have meetings

  • and stuff and girls live in the house sometimes

  • I don't really know how to explain it but

  • if you've ever seen an American movie a lot of times

  • they will portray like a very stereotypical sororities

  • like the girls with like the Greek letters and like whatever

  • so you might have an idea of what it is

  • and if you don't know and I didn't explain it well just now... google it

  • So I went to the University of Oklahoma and I was in a Sorority

  • Tri Delta

  • Delta, Delta, Delta, Can I, Help Ya, Help Ya, Help Ya

  • I'm from Dallas Texas originaly

  • And my coming out process and like figuring out I was gay started in high school for sure

  • But it had, I had, a really bad experience umm...

  • Basically with someone's parents finding out

  • That I liked a girl

  • and then they kind of like ruined my life and outed me to like my family and stuff

  • It was just drama

  • So like my first experience with the idea of me being gay went really poorly

  • so in my mind I was like, "I do not want to be gay."

  • Obviously, if that's how that went I do not want to be gay at all

  • So, I went to like the most conservative school that I got into

  • And I joined a sorority cause I was like

  • I'm going to be straight... I'm going to be like those girls and I'm gonna

  • Pray the gay away and it's gonna

  • just go, it'll go away

  • That's not how this works just in case you're wondering

  • it doesn't it doesn't work at all

  • So Greek life in Oklahoma was huge at my school

  • There was like 12 different sororities and they all had like around 200 girls in them

  • very big sororities

  • for reference

  • This, these are all faces of girls in my sorority

  • a lot of them... there are a lot of them

  • So okay let's get to the dirt. What was it like being gay and being in a sorority?

  • It was so much fun... like I had so much fun

  • and I met some of my like forever best friends through it

  • but

  • Obviously, it was not all rainbows and butterflies it was

  • (helicopter noise)

  • Helicopter

  • it could be a bit hard at times

  • so... I'm gonna... explain it

  • I think I'm being really weird but I don't know why

  • Obviously, it's a very like hetero-normative environment

  • There's sororities for girls and fraternities for boys and like

  • And the sorority girls always date the fraternity boys and they always hang out

  • and it's like ahh we're straight... so straight

  • Very straight

  • So for a young gay who is also in the closet

  • it's a lot of straight ya know

  • It's also very religious like

  • a lot of the girls and guys

  • in the fraternities and stuff are super religious

  • which is awesome but

  • Sometimes it goes hand in hand with like a little bit of homophobia

  • especially in the south

  • so throughout the four years

  • definitely, definitely, heard a lot of homophobic statements

  • even said to me because no one knew I was gay so like

  • I was hearing stuff like that

  • alot

  • which is... hard

  • Especially when you're in the closet and you don't have a lot of self confidence

  • and you don't want to be gay

  • to hear like people who you love and like

  • who are you're best friends say bad things about you

  • without knowing it's just like

  • woah

  • takes a toll of the confidence

  • for sure, for sure

  • I remember I had a girl come into my room one time

  • and she said

  • "Shannon oh my gosh the craziest thing just happened"

  • "I was playing would you rather with someone and they said:"

  • "Would you rather?"

  • "Never, ever ever, have sex"

  • "or have sex with a girl"

  • and she was like

  • "Can you imagine how disgusting"

  • she was like, "Obviously I'd just never have sex."

  • That's just one example of so many like

  • little, little, comments and things that happened

  • but like

  • that was like 5 years ago

  • and I still remember to this day

  • who said it, when they said it, where I was sitting like

  • how it made me feel I'll never forget

  • how bad

  • things like that made me feel about myself

  • so

  • I also lived in the house for 2 years

  • So there was like a house just specifically for my sorority right Tri Delta

  • So we had like over a 100 girls

  • could fit and lived in the house

  • and it was really, really, really, really, cool I loved it

  • but

  • I spent a lot of time

  • feeling super duper paranoid

  • that someone was going to find out that I was gay

  • and that they might, potentially like, try to kick me outta the house

  • it was like a re-occurring nightmare that I had

  • all the time

  • I just never wanted anyone to like

  • find out and then think like, "Oh my god Shannon's like

  • "Shannon's going to what us change... or Shannon's going to like"

  • We shared bathrooms... like I, I don't know

  • I just had this fear of what everyone was going to think of me

  • and like thing about me being...

  • gay

  • Whoa an aggressive light change... sorry

  • the sun is setting on me

  • I think the hardest part about it is that

  • I felt very lonely

  • cause you're surrounded by

  • All these people who are like your best friends

  • and you're thinking about something all the time

  • and not getting to talk to anyone about it

  • and they were all just getting to like be themselves

  • And you know... this sad little gay just felt like

  • scared

  • that would be a good word for it

  • And also this is going to sound, so sad, but

  • it was so hard for me personally because

  • there was nothing I wanted more... at the time

  • then to be straight

  • I thought that would make my life so much easier

  • I could just avoid all the struggle of like coming out

  • if I could just be straight

  • And so... it was really hard to be surrounded by

  • hundreds of girls

  • Who are kind of like everything you want to be

  • and you can't make yourself figure out how to like them

  • that

  • concept

  • made it... very difficult... for me

  • but

  • as I became more comfortable

  • with my sexuality and more confidence with the idea of being gay

  • and started to come out to some of them

  • everything got so much better

  • so, so much better

  • even after I told just one of my sorority sisters

  • I finally felt like I had an ally

  • like I had an outlet someone to talk to about

  • everything I was thinking about which was

  • consuming my like

  • all my thoughts all the time

  • and this way I finally has someone to talk to

  • life is so much easier

  • after to start just being youself

  • I wish that I had just

  • been able to be myself

  • sooner

  • And I hadn't put so much pressure on myself

  • to try and be like the girls that were around me

  • and just be myself... because

  • life got so much better and also like

  • I'm so much more

  • happy

  • and then when I graduated college

  • I fully came out

  • to like every one just like on social media

  • Obviously

  • And I got like an overwhelming response

  • from girls in my sorority like so many of them texted me

  • and reached out and were like

  • "We're so proud of you, like I wish you'd told us sooner"

  • it was so

  • amazing

  • Tri Delta

  • here's to you

  • In the end I don't regret being in a soroity at all

  • I have so many amazing memories and like great friends from it

  • and it taught me so much

  • So if you're watching this video because you're in a sorority and you're gay

  • or because you're thinking about being a sorority

  • and you're gay or...

  • you're just curious. I don't know

  • it's hard for me to say

  • whether or not you should do it

  • because I think it's different for every single person

  • but if you are doing it

  • or you're in it

  • I just wanted to make this video to let you know that you're not alone

  • and people have done it too before you

  • and it will be so much better if you just

  • tell people

  • and don't

  • spend

  • four years

  • Trying to hide such a big part of who you are because

  • that's not fun

  • for anyone

  • You have no idea how the people around you are going to react

  • Some of the people that I thought were super homophoic

  • because of the things they'd like said like... to my face

  • Turned out to be like some of like the biggest allys in my life

  • The things that they said

  • they didn't even mean them

  • because they were just ignorant and they didn't know

  • Also if you're watching this and you have no intention on ever being in a sorority

  • and you're not in a sorority now

  • but you're gay

  • you are not alone... either

  • And everything is going to be okay

  • even when things seem really, really, bad

  • and they're really hard

  • they get

  • better

  • take it from me because

  • it was

  • pretty bad

  • and now

  • It's amazing

  • Okay guys, that's my video for this week

  • I hope you guys liked it

  • It was a bit

  • Sad I think, I didn't mean for it to be sad

  • I was just trying to be honest about

  • My experience, so I hoped you liked it

  • annnnnd

  • yeah if you're new here

  • Subscribe!

  • I make videos

  • Can you believe the light changed that agressively

Am I too bright?

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